Mom, do you think maybe I have ADD?

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old daughter has been struggling academically for a while now. Whenever we'd talk about it and the possible reasons why she'd cry and become very defensive. Usually she'd say she's trying her best, but this would sometimes alternate with her telling us she doesn't care about school and why are we making such a big deal, etc? A few days ago for the first time she brought up the subject without our prompting and asked if we thought it might be possible she has attention issues. She said she's been talking to some friend with similar issues in school and they have been diagnosed with ADD or executive function issues. She said it made her wonder if she might be dealing with something similar.

Honestly, I feel our daughter may be picking up on something valid. Her attention is often pretty poor, but I've generally chalked this up to being a distracted teen overly absorbed with phones, computers and the like. Maybe it's more than that, though. I honestly do see her trying to study. Work can take her forever and she still gets C's and D's even with effort. She gets very emotional sometimes, and she seems to have a lot of trouble organizing her written thoughts. I do think she's intelligent enough, and so do her teachers. They are stumped and so are we.

Do you think it's time to consider having her tested?

[Anonymous]

What would be the harm in having her tested? You see her struggling, teachers see her struggling, she perceives herself to be struggling. Get some answers and some guidance to how to support her and move forward.

[Anonymous]

Yep, my daughter asked me the same thing at 15. We had her tested, she has inattentive ADD. We started meds, she went from C's to A's!

[Anonymous]

Get her tested. It will make her feel so much better that if she does have it, then it explains her poor grades. I am adult who was DX'd with ADHD last year, and only because I saw my DS struggling in school... so lots of negative memories started flooding back in for me.

I had a HORRIBLE school experience. I literally thought that there was something wrong with me, that I was dumb, stupid and worthless which by the way is the message I was getting from my parochial school teachers for 12 years straight so that didn't help matters.
"Back then", no one got diagnosed with ADHD or if they did it was hidden. Anyhow my feelings of self worth were so negative. It wasn't until I turned 19 and dragged myself out of community college and into a 4 year university did I finally come into my own and start to learn work arounds, I can only imagine how different my life would have been had I been diagnosed and medicated when I was in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Yes, get her tested, especially if she's struggling. It may not be ADHD, but at least you'll know what the strengths and weaknesses are. She can get help if she needs it.

Also, I would consider getting her short term tutoring in executive skills/studying. For many kids, these skills don't emerge naturally and they need to be taught strategies, even if they don't have any specific diagnoses. Studying/organizational skills are more important b/c the academic/life demands increase as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Another yes to explore this. It is very common for a bright girl with inattentive ADHD to get through elementary and JH unnoticed but start having problems in the later grades.

I have never been diagnosed but I have pretty much all of the symptoms for this. Despite a 140 IQ I struggled in school, dropped out of the more challenging classes, picked a super easy major in college, and could not wait to be done with school. I've had jobs since then, but never a career, and I am still struggling and knowing that I am not living up to my potential.

I really wish my parents had done more. I was very difficult and resistant, but I feel like they gave up on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, get her tested, especially if she's struggling. It may not be ADHD, but at least you'll know what the strengths and weaknesses are. She can get help if she needs it.

Also, I would consider getting her short term tutoring in executive skills/studying. For many kids, these skills don't emerge naturally and they need to be taught strategies, even if they don't have any specific diagnoses. Studying/organizational skills are more important b/c the academic/life demands increase as they get older.

This is OP. Do you have any suggestions about tutors who specialize in this? DD already has a couple of tutors for specific subjects but this sounds like it could be a help.

[Anonymous]

Search the Lab School tutor database for a tutor that can help with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Search the Lab School tutor database for a tutor that can help with that.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would get a private evaluation as soon as possible. Is she in public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would get a private evaluation as soon as possible. Is she in public school?

Yes she is in public school. So far the school hasn't recommended anything to us. We've decided to go forward with the the private eval and see what it shows. I think we'll then decide whether or not to get the school involved at all. I'm not too familiar with this but I assumer school will need the report if there's something LD or ADHD that we'd want to seek accommodations for. Is that correct?

[Anonymous]

Please have her tested OP! I am 22 and my parents didn't get me tested till 18. After dx, I got a 3.6 my first semester in collegge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would get a private evaluation as soon as possible. Is she in public school?

Yes she is in public school. So far the school hasn't recommended anything to us. We've decided to go forward with the the private eval and see what it shows. I think we'll then decide whether or not to get the school involved at all. I'm not too familiar with this but I assumer school will need the report if there's something LD or ADHD that we'd want to seek accommodations for. Is that correct?

18:30 again. Yes, you will need the report to seek services under IDEA or Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act. It sounds like a private evaluation is a great idea. Good luck to you and your DD. She sounds like she has some real self-awareness, and that's a great strength!

[Anonymous]

I am a 46 year old female who didn't find out that I had ADHD until about 5 years ago when having my son evaluated for developmental delays. I only found out because of the services I was getting for my son. As I researched ADHD for my son, I was astounded by the fact that what I read described me. I wish I had known and my parents had know earlier so I could have received support. I dropped out of college, law school and a doctoral program. Yes, I finished undergrad and received a Masters degree, but life would have been so much easier if I'd had the support I needed.

I see a therapist at the Chesapeake ADHD Center and I highly recommend them. The founder did great work on women and ADHD. You can have your daughter evaluated there.

I wish you all the best, and thank you for listening to your daughter. I have many friends whose children are struggling and the parents choose not to have their children evaluated for various reasons.

Take care!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another yes to explore this. It is very common for a bright girl with inattentive ADHD to get through elementary and JH unnoticed but start having problems in the later grades.

I have never been diagnosed but I have pretty much all of the symptoms for this. Despite a 140 IQ I struggled in school, dropped out of the more challenging classes, picked a super easy major in college, and could not wait to be done with school. I've had jobs since then, but never a career, and I am still struggling and knowing that I am not living up to my potential.

I really wish my parents had done more. I was very difficult and resistant, but I feel like they gave up on me.

Pp. It's not too late! Why not get self tested now?