Full time working mom to stay at home mom

[Anonymous]

I am a mother of a beautiful, smart and caring (almost) 3-year old little guy that I adore! For the past year and a half, I have set off each day on a 90 minute drive to work a 10-12 hour day, only to get back in the car for another long commute home. By the time I get there, I only get to spend an hour or so with my son before I have to rush him off to bed! And at least one day a week, I don't get to see him at all. The older he gets, the harder it is to walk out the door. My husband and I decided a few months ago that I would quit my job and start staying home full time. The day can't come soon enough, but I am starting to get so nervous! I am freaking out because of how much my life is going to change...socially, financially...I mean, if there are any moms out there with advise or just some personal experiences of how it has worked for you, I am all ears!

[Anonymous]

why not choose a middle ground and find a 9-5 or a part time job? This would help you have a fulfilling career AND spend more time with your son.
If you think staying home with your son IS what you want - that's great, don't look back...

[Anonymous]

Don't get a p/t job. I did and I hate it. It's become one more thing I "have to do" and honestly, I think I'd be happier without a modest paycheck. I was making close to 6-figures before so it felt like going from 100 miles an hour to 0. I thought a p/t job would help bridge the gap from working woman to sahm. Now I'm just forcing myself to hang out with people who really aren't that professional when I could be at a museum or a park with my soon to be toddler. Plus, I would never put this "job" on my resume so that probably sums up why I should stop working. My pickle is it's a friend and I feel like I should stick it out just a little longer - at least until I can find a decent replacement.

Good luck with whatever you decide. PP is right: if it's what you want, then do it and don't look back!

[Sabray]

I have been where you are. I went from working forever until I was pregnant with my son and was put on bed rest. I have been a stay at home mom for 7years now. The first 2years it was hard for me mentally. To become financially dependent on just one income, (my husbands) and so on.
Anyhow, I could write a small book to you about this. But will leave it at I am happy to lend you an ear anytime you need to talk to someone. From one mother to another who has been there.
Take care and ENJOY it while you can.

[Anonymous]

I work P/T and LOVE it, best of both worlds - maybe the other poster changed to a totally new field and didn't love it so much or their field wasn't as accomodating to it, however I stayed within my field and cut back hours and worked from home when I had the opportunity and it couldn't be better... It's not just about the money, its about keeping skills sharp, a foot in the door for when you are ready to get back into it full-time, maintaining contacts other than the 'kids network' ...

[Anonymous]

I don't have personal experience with this - just wanted to say good luck! I work an 8-hour day and commute an hour each way, which isn't as bad as your situation, but is still annoying at times. I find myself missing my daughter and resenting the non-busy days. (which in my job are often - I deliberately took a less challenging position to have more time with my child.)

one suggestion: you might find yourself going a little nuts and craving adult conversation or alone time. Consider doing the following:
* sign your child up for a class, or preschool for maybe 15 hours a week. he'll get to hang with kids his own age, you'll get a break to do housework or errands.
* buy a gym membership at a gym with child care - the $2/session is the best money I've ever spent and my daughter loves the lady who works there.
* schedule regular lunches with other SAHM's that you know, or with friends who work at locations where you could meet them easily.
* get out of the house with your kid every day unless the weather sucks. I enjoyed daily walks with my daughter during my leave.

Enjoy yourself! I was unemployed (after a layoff) for six months, and while i was freaked out about money and occasionally lonely, it was really nice to step off of the fast track for awhile. it was nice getting up when I wanted to, not having to dress up unless i wanted to, working out at non-peak times, cooking at home instead of microwaving frozen meals at work...

[Anonymous]

was also in your situation too. I wanted to quit and stay home so badly just couldn't do it.

My son went to daycare, I went to my office, stressed out I'd rush to get him, go home prepare dinner then him for bed and then it would be over. Another day gone by so fast. I always thought I should quit my job and stay home. I was paying so much in daycare, etc. but something just couldn't bring me to do it. I had been there for nearly 8 years, made a great income and really had a lot of perks.

I then was laid off the week before Xmas. I was a bit sad and even a little angry. I then thought about how great it would be for me to be home with him, watch him grow, etc.

I'm trying for #2 so being home now is even better. Yes, financially and socially it will be different at first. Talk to your husband, perhaps you will have to get a part time job to help cover the costs. If you can do it and want it, just go for it.

Remember, get out of the house every day. The warmer weather is coming and with a 3 year old that is probably not so hard. Change it up, have various playdates, do things.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be making the same transition in the fall. OP, are you planning to send your DS to preschool? I've enrolled my DS for a 5 day/wk program. He is a social child and likes a classroom environment. Besides, I'm not the type to homeschool more than reading books, flash cards and taking him to Gymboree.

I am already a member of several moms group in my local area. I recommend them for support and the opportunity for playgroups and other outings.

I would also look into the rec centers for other types of classes like art and music.

One thing I stood firm on was that I am not staying at home so I can be a maid. I'm not stopping our cleaning service. Although now I will be able to find more time to make healthier meals.

I'm anxious also.