met love of my life on match, but don't think he can handle my kids...

[Anonymous]

He has one child and was kind of checked out as a dad before he got divorced - i.e. very focused on his career w/ stay at home wife etc.. I have a career, make more then he does and have 2 kids 6 and 8 that are very active/rowdy. I worry that this will be a deal breaker with the BF.

We having been dating about a year and he has just recently been interacting with my kids, I have never met his DC. I really get the sense he can't handle it/doesn't like my kids and the attendant chaos. He is perfectly nice and polite and if he has had too much he will take the dog for a walk or go upstairs to read - Im perfectly fine with whatever he has to do, but worried for the long term. Its a package deal and he loves 1/3 of the package (me) but not sure if the other 2/3rds are a deal breaker.

Not sure the point here, other than some BTDT or other input…I'm freaking out a bit.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's a deal breaker. He sounds like an asshole- sorry to be blunt but true.

You're acting like it might be a deal breaker to him- but it should be to YOU

[Anonymous]

Dealbreaker. Call it off now and cut your losses. Sorry, OP. But really, what do you think married life will be like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's a deal breaker. He sounds like an asshole- sorry to be blunt but true.

You're acting like it might be a deal breaker to him- but it should be to YOU

Reply 1 nailed it.

[Anonymous]

+1000

He is not going to change for his own child why would he for yours.

He must be awesome in the bedroom or you are attracted to his professional success.

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's a deal breaker. He sounds like an asshole- sorry to be blunt but true.

You're acting like it might be a deal breaker to him- but it should be to YOU

[Anonymous]

Clearly, he's not really the "love of your life" if he's not that into your kids. Especially if he's not that into his own. Cut your losses, OP. I'm sorry it hurts, but you'll be glad you dodged this bullet.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't even reach out to his own kid, what makes you think he's going to blink an eye towards (2!) of yours???

That is a red flag enough.

[Anonymous]

You really want someone who would check out on his own child? How do you reconcile that in your head with him being a good person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's a deal breaker. He sounds like an asshole- sorry to be blunt but true.

You're acting like it might be a deal breaker to him- but it should be to YOU

Reply 1 nailed it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's a deal breaker. He sounds like an asshole- sorry to be blunt but true.

You're acting like it might be a deal breaker to him- but it should be to YOU

Plus 1. Also, "kind of checked out as a dad" to his own kid would be a major turn-off to me.

[Anonymous]

Also, how can he truly love you if he does not also love your kids? They are a part of you. You are a package deal.

[Anonymous]

How has he been interacting with his own kid since his divorce? Is he any more engaged?

[Anonymous]

I was going to say the same thing as PP: if he doesn't like your kids, he's not the love of your life. I wouldn't waste any more time with this relationship. Your kids come first. Period.

[Anonymous]

Don't doom your kids to a life of walking on eggshells

[Anonymous]

OP my mom spent years with a guy like this. He was polite with us but didn't care for us too much. He even suggested that we go live with my grandmother. I blame my mom. Always have but especially now that I'm a mom myself. He is not a keeper. It won't last. Trust me.