Kid with DS keeps biting mine at daycare

[Anonymous]

My 3.5 year old, who is developmentally-typical, keeps getting bitten by a child at school. I was getting really frustrated with this but then realized the little boy has down syndome. Now I'm not sure how to feel- I mean, I get that he may need more time than others but at the same time don't like that he is using my child as a teething toy. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Have you spoken to the school about it? What do they say? What does your child say?

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the classroom teacher in either a school or daycare setting to see if they know this has happened. The boy with DS may lack the social and communication skills to interact with your son appropriately and do it as a means of trying to get his attention getting or likely out of frustration if he does not know how to share toys etc.. The boy with DS needs to be watched more closely, and I would definitely request that they be separated at lunch or nap time. The teacher should also inform the parent of what is happening as she may have some behavioral strategies that would be appropriate for this child.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the school and ask to keep the kids separated.

[Anonymous]

This really isn't a SN issue - although I appreciate your sensitivity. Biting isn't acceptable whether it's an SN or NT kid (and they all do it). Bring the issue to the attention of the teacher/director. They should be accustomed to the issue.

[Anonymous]

You need to speak with the school and teachers. They can't give a "pass" for biting if he's preschooler whether or not he's SN.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. This is really helpful. The teachers and parents are working with the little boy but it doesn't seem to be enough. I didn't realize he had special needs until recently and like that the school is trying to accomodate/respecting the family's wishes to mainstream. At rthe same time I'm starting to get fed up and want my kid to stop getting bitten.

[Anonymous]

Daycare is daycare and not "mainstreaming."

[Anonymous]

I understand that you want to be sensitive, OP, but just act like you would in any other case of biting. Don't jump to conclusions in either direction -- either giving the biter a pass because of his extra needs, or indicting the school for "mainstreaming" which makes little sense either.

Ultimately you have to decide whether this is the right daycare for your child based on its policies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare is daycare and not "mainstreaming."

Wrong, if it's a curriculum-based center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare is daycare and not "mainstreaming."

Wrong, if it's a curriculum-based center.

You are confusing apples and oranges. Mainstreaming or inclusive education refers to bringing "handicapped" children out of segregated classrooms and into mainstream classrooms. There is no segregated daycare for special needs children and there would be no "mainstreaming" of a handicapped child from a "special needs daycare" into a mainstream daycare, regardless of any curriculum that the daycare decided to come up with. So there is no such thing as mainstreaming in daycare.

[Anonymous]

Where and when is the biting taking place? Is it over toys, one is in another's space? Get some answers about the circumstances. Ask them to have the child shadowed so they can better monitor.

Once you know the circumstances, you can role play situations where your son can learn other behaviors and avoid getting bit.

[Anonymous]

How old?

Honestly the school is failing to protect your son and provide enough care for the other child.

There was a child at our school that had significant development delays from being premature (2 year old in infant room). A combination of his irresponsible parents (dropping him off when he is vomiting, not providing breathing equipment) and other parents getting fed up the school finally did the right thing and asked them to find more suitable care for their child.

Don't hesistates to make it clear that the school needs to do better.

[Anonymous]

How's biting an SN issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How's biting an SN issue?

It may be part of a sensory issue with the DS child. I know our former nanny's main experience with SN kids was with DS kids, and she was the one who first suggested a chew toy for my son with sensory issues.