13 year old with language disorder

[Anonymous]

13 year old ds has language processing disorder but is doing reasonably well academically. He doesn't have a 504 or iep. His processing speed is 37%, working memory around average & perceptual is high/very high category. I have always just thought he essentially has no problems but just on the quiet side with a smaller circle of friends than most people. I am now facing reality that he has more issues than that and am trying to figure out what it is I need to do to help him. He did have a full neuropysch eval that diagnosed him will language processing disorder. He has completed a year of language therapy. But I am noticing his language skill is so far from a 13 year old. For the most part, he is just really quiet. But after a whole week of vacation with him, being around him from morning to night every day, I am just so depressed at his language skill. I don't want to sound mean, but he just says stupid stuff where you just can't help but be like, "what are you talking about?" It's just one stupid question or comment after another all day long. (Btw, I do not react negatively to him and try to be as supportive as possible to him but am worried about others' reactions). No wonder he lacks friends or kids lose interest in him after awhile. Most socialization therapy seems to be geared to kids who have a lot more issues than him so would not be appropriate. His speech therapist suggested ending his therapy after about a year so I'm not sure if there is any more to be done at that end. I'm not even sure what exactly my question is. I'm just looking for any helpful suggestions from anyone in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

Get a second opinion. I would try the Camaratas in Nashville. I would also try to find a new therapist.

[Anonymous]

OP, how long ago was the neuropsych evaluation?

Language disorders are tricky. My kid sometimes says nonsensical things too b/c the words are jumbled in his head. He knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out.

Also, get him an IEP or 504 if he's eligible. And in regards to social skills groups, you don't sound all that well informed, so trust me there are ones out there that will be appropriate for him. Your kid might be on the quiet side or he might be quiet b/c it's a coping mechanism.

Lastly, I'd look at summer programs at: Lab, Siena, Commonwealth, or Kingsbury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13 year old ds has language processing disorder but is doing reasonably well academically. He doesn't have a 504 or iep. His processing speed is 37%, working memory around average & perceptual is high/very high category. I have always just thought he essentially has no problems but just on the quiet side with a smaller circle of friends than most people. I am now facing reality that he has more issues than that and am trying to figure out what it is I need to do to help him. He did have a full neuropysch eval that diagnosed him will language processing disorder. He has completed a year of language therapy. But I am noticing his language skill is so far from a 13 year old. For the most part, he is just really quiet. But after a whole week of vacation with him, being around him from morning to night every day, I am just so depressed at his language skill. I don't want to sound mean, but he just says stupid stuff where you just can't help but be like, "what are you talking about?" It's just one stupid question or comment after another all day long. (Btw, I do not react negatively to him and try to be as supportive as possible to him but am worried about others' reactions). No wonder he lacks friends or kids lose interest in him after awhile. Most socialization therapy seems to be geared to kids who have a lot more issues than him so would not be appropriate. His speech therapist suggested ending his therapy after about a year so I'm not sure if there is any more to be done at that end. I'm not even sure what exactly my question is. I'm just looking for any helpful suggestions from anyone in the same boat.

I know- I have a DS8 with a language impairment- he doesn't "get" things that other people "get." In his case the evaluator used terms like "theory of mind" or "gestalt processing." Essentially, DS doesn't see the "big picture" in social settings or process verbal/non verbal feedback very well, and it causes some major failures and misunderstandings when he tries to make friends and interact. It's a learning disability- I've come to see that, and I'm working on my patience. It affects behavior at home because it creates some discipline issues.
We're dealing with things via one on one intensive therapy followed by social group therapy. We're also working on executive functioning- I think some of the issues are related to potential ADHD. (e.g. saying things impulsively).

[Anonymous]

Kids say stupid shit. My totally normal daughter asked me, at age 11, if the ice I was holding was cold. This is a kid with a slew of friends and on the high honor roll. Tweens and teens are sometimes very wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids say stupid shit. My totally normal daughter asked me, at age 11, if the ice I was holding was cold. This is a kid with a slew of friends and on the high honor roll. Tweens and teens are sometimes very wtf.

If your kid is normal, and this parent is saying it is an issue, why on earth would you dismiss her concerns?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how long ago was the neuropsych evaluation?

Language disorders are tricky. My kid sometimes says nonsensical things too b/c the words are jumbled in his head. He knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out.

Also, get him an IEP or 504 if he's eligible. And in regards to social skills groups, you don't sound all that well informed, so trust me there are ones out there that will be appropriate for him. Your kid might be on the quiet side or he might be quiet b/c it's a coping mechanism.

Lastly, I'd look at summer programs at: Lab, Siena, Commonwealth, or Kingsbury.

NP. DS recently had a neuropsych eval and we were discussing language disorders: I've always known I've had issues with expressive speech exactly the same problem as your DS - "knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out." Trouble with formulation as my DH who doesn't have this problem describes it. But on the surface no one would ever guess I have this problem. I was a college debater at an Ivy who went to a top law school. My son's neuropsych describes language disorders the same as you which struck me.

My kid has problems with social skills - not due to problems with expressive/receptive speech which for him is a strength but his lack of ability to "get" nonverbal communication. Social skills have to be taught explicitly like how most people are taught to solve a math problem since his ability to infer nonverbal communication is very very poor.

The problem with all these social skills classes, social communication therapy, etc is that none have been around for very long and there is very little data on their effectiveness in the long run. Nevertheless, I am always on the lookout for another one for DS. Sigh. Mostly commiserating here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how long ago was the neuropsych evaluation?

Language disorders are tricky. My kid sometimes says nonsensical things too b/c the words are jumbled in his head. He knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out.

Also, get him an IEP or 504 if he's eligible. And in regards to social skills groups, you don't sound all that well informed, so trust me there are ones out there that will be appropriate for him. Your kid might be on the quiet side or he might be quiet b/c it's a coping mechanism.

Lastly, I'd look at summer programs at: Lab, Siena, Commonwealth, or Kingsbury.

NP. DS recently had a neuropsych eval and we were discussing language disorders: I've always known I've had issues with expressive speech exactly the same problem as your DS - "knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out." Trouble with formulation as my DH who doesn't have this problem describes it. But on the surface no one would ever guess I have this problem. I was a college debater at an Ivy who went to a top law school. My son's neuropsych describes language disorders the same as you which struck me.

My kid has problems with social skills - not due to problems with expressive/receptive speech which for him is a strength but his lack of ability to "get" nonverbal communication. Social skills have to be taught explicitly like how most people are taught to solve a math problem since his ability to infer nonverbal communication is very very poor.

The problem with all these social skills classes, social communication therapy, etc is that none have been around for very long and there is very little data on their effectiveness in the long run. Nevertheless, I am always on the lookout for another one for DS. Sigh. Mostly commiserating here.

PP here with the eight year old diagnosed with the language impairment-- I worry about the effectiveness of these treatments as well. We are paying quite a lot of money for social skills therapy/classes, but I wonder how much of it DS will be able to apply in "real life.' It might help him meet people initially or make friends on a superficial level, but will it help him form bonds and relationships? My DS is so sad without friends-- sadly, he is social, just not at all adept in this area.
I have a friend who clearly has these kinds of issues-- and while I "like" him and know that he's a good guy, I (and most other people) can only tolerate him in small doses. He is brilliant (engineer, top college) but his conversation is hard to follow, and he is not good at reciprocal conversation. That said, he is one of the most dependable, empathetic people I know. He hates to see other people down or upset-- he just doesn't know what to say. He's someone who deserves a lot of happiness, but due to his issues, has had more than his fair share of loneliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13 year old ds has language processing disorder but is doing reasonably well academically. He doesn't have a 504 or iep. His processing speed is 37%, working memory around average & perceptual is high/very high category. I have always just thought he essentially has no problems but just on the quiet side with a smaller circle of friends than most people. I am now facing reality that he has more issues than that and am trying to figure out what it is I need to do to help him. He did have a full neuropysch eval that diagnosed him will language processing disorder. He has completed a year of language therapy. But I am noticing his language skill is so far from a 13 year old. For the most part, he is just really quiet. But after a whole week of vacation with him, being around him from morning to night every day, I am just so depressed at his language skill. I don't want to sound mean, but he just says stupid stuff where you just can't help but be like, "what are you talking about?" It's just one stupid question or comment after another all day long. (Btw, I do not react negatively to him and try to be as supportive as possible to him but am worried about others' reactions). No wonder he lacks friends or kids lose interest in him after awhile. Most socialization therapy seems to be geared to kids who have a lot more issues than him so would not be appropriate. His speech therapist suggested ending his therapy after about a year so I'm not sure if there is any more to be done at that end. I'm not even sure what exactly my question is. I'm just looking for any helpful suggestions from anyone in the same boat.

You just described my 11 yr old DS. Only he is on an IEP for his LDs related to this MERLD.

[Anonymous]

I have an 11 year old with HFA. You can do some things at home to support language development. We work with him constantly on language processing and provide as many "speech rich" activities for him as we can. We play a lot of board games and table top games at our house because they encourage verbal interaction. We keep him enrolled in drama classes and theater classes - they improve processing of verbal language and teach empathy and social skills. When we watch TV or movies, we watch them with the subtitles on because he can process the movie better if he can read the dialogue, instead of hearing the dialogue. We listen to age-appropriate audio books in the car, because they help him work on processing verbal speech.

As far as social skills go, the use of social skills pictures and social skills curriculum can help him understand social situations better.



These are geared to kids with an ASD but might be helpful:

http://www.amazon.com/Social-Skills-Picture-School-Beyond/dp/1932565353/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1419880254&sr=1-2&keywords=social+skills+picture+book

http://www.amazon.com/Asperkids-Secret-Book-Social-Rules/dp/1849059152/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1419880189&sr=1-1-fkmr1&keywords=social+skills+detective+tween

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how long ago was the neuropsych evaluation?

Language disorders are tricky. My kid sometimes says nonsensical things too b/c the words are jumbled in his head. He knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out.

Also, get him an IEP or 504 if he's eligible. And in regards to social skills groups, you don't sound all that well informed, so trust me there are ones out there that will be appropriate for him. Your kid might be on the quiet side or he might be quiet b/c it's a coping mechanism.

Lastly, I'd look at summer programs at: Lab, Siena, Commonwealth, or Kingsbury.

NP. DS recently had a neuropsych eval and we were discussing language disorders: I've always known I've had issues with expressive speech exactly the same problem as your DS - "knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out." Trouble with formulation as my DH who doesn't have this problem describes it. But on the surface no one would ever guess I have this problem. I was a college debater at an Ivy who went to a top law school. My son's neuropsych describes language disorders the same as you which struck me.

My kid has problems with social skills - not due to problems with expressive/receptive speech which for him is a strength but his lack of ability to "get" nonverbal communication. Social skills have to be taught explicitly like how most people are taught to solve a math problem since his ability to infer nonverbal communication is very very poor.

The problem with all these social skills classes, social communication therapy, etc is that none have been around for very long and there is very little data on their effectiveness in the long run. Nevertheless, I am always on the lookout for another one for DS. Sigh. Mostly commiserating here.

PP here with the eight year old diagnosed with the language impairment-- I worry about the effectiveness of these treatments as well. We are paying quite a lot of money for social skills therapy/classes, but I wonder how much of it DS will be able to apply in "real life.' It might help him meet people initially or make friends on a superficial level, but will it help him form bonds and relationships? My DS is so sad without friends-- sadly, he is social, just not at all adept in this area.
I have a friend who clearly has these kinds of issues-- and while I "like" him and know that he's a good guy, I (and most other people) can only tolerate him in small doses. He is brilliant (engineer, top college) but his conversation is hard to follow, and he is not good at reciprocal conversation. That said, he is one of the most dependable, empathetic people I know. He hates to see other people down or upset-- he just doesn't know what to say. He's someone who deserves a lot of happiness, but due to his issues, has had more than his fair share of loneliness.

My DS has friends even a best friend and is quite popular in his own way - probably due to his obsession with Pokemon and Minecraft, is 7 and in 2nd grade. Basically, everyone in our family is this way and I told the neuropsych that I have a hard time getting my kid to practice social skills b/c the idea of committing any time to "social skills" makes me cringe - I can't think of anything more boring and I'm an adult. The other members of my family who clearly have this issue turned out fine as adults (have jobs, married, kids, etc.) without interventions so that makes me skeptical about why all this is necessary too... but like I said, still looking for more social skills classes and other things that'll get my kid "out there". LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how long ago was the neuropsych evaluation?

Language disorders are tricky. My kid sometimes says nonsensical things too b/c the words are jumbled in his head. He knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out.

Also, get him an IEP or 504 if he's eligible. And in regards to social skills groups, you don't sound all that well informed, so trust me there are ones out there that will be appropriate for him. Your kid might be on the quiet side or he might be quiet b/c it's a coping mechanism.

Lastly, I'd look at summer programs at: Lab, Siena, Commonwealth, or Kingsbury.

NP. DS recently had a neuropsych eval and we were discussing language disorders: I've always known I've had issues with expressive speech exactly the same problem as your DS - "knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out." Trouble with formulation as my DH who doesn't have this problem describes it. But on the surface no one would ever guess I have this problem. I was a college debater at an Ivy who went to a top law school. My son's neuropsych describes language disorders the same as you which struck me.

My kid has problems with social skills - not due to problems with expressive/receptive speech which for him is a strength but his lack of ability to "get" nonverbal communication. Social skills have to be taught explicitly like how most people are taught to solve a math problem since his ability to infer nonverbal communication is very very poor.

The problem with all these social skills classes, social communication therapy, etc is that none have been around for very long and there is very little data on their effectiveness in the long run. Nevertheless, I am always on the lookout for another one for DS. Sigh. Mostly commiserating here.

I don't know what you mean by "around for very long," but there is evidence base for a lot of social skills curriculum. Try reading one of Rick Lavoie or Michelle Garcia Winner's books. It's been well established that kids learn social skills from their peers. Kids with processing issues need more "practice," which can be as simple as one-on-one get togethers with kids their own age or slightly younger.

Finding a good program/social skills group is useful b/c it helps kids hone their skills but the underlying issues never quite go away. It's like managing diabetes--better with a healthy diet, exercise, and in some cases medication. Social skills get stronger with "practice."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how long ago was the neuropsych evaluation?

Language disorders are tricky. My kid sometimes says nonsensical things too b/c the words are jumbled in his head. He knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out.

Also, get him an IEP or 504 if he's eligible. And in regards to social skills groups, you don't sound all that well informed, so trust me there are ones out there that will be appropriate for him. Your kid might be on the quiet side or he might be quiet b/c it's a coping mechanism.

Lastly, I'd look at summer programs at: Lab, Siena, Commonwealth, or Kingsbury.

NP. DS recently had a neuropsych eval and we were discussing language disorders: I've always known I've had issues with expressive speech exactly the same problem as your DS - "knows what he wants to say, sometimes can't get it out." Trouble with formulation as my DH who doesn't have this problem describes it. But on the surface no one would ever guess I have this problem. I was a college debater at an Ivy who went to a top law school. My son's neuropsych describes language disorders the same as you which struck me.

My kid has problems with social skills - not due to problems with expressive/receptive speech which for him is a strength but his lack of ability to "get" nonverbal communication. Social skills have to be taught explicitly like how most people are taught to solve a math problem since his ability to infer nonverbal communication is very very poor.

The problem with all these social skills classes, social communication therapy, etc is that none have been around for very long and there is very little data on their effectiveness in the long run. Nevertheless, I am always on the lookout for another one for DS. Sigh. Mostly commiserating here.

I don't know what you mean by "around for very long," but there is evidence base for a lot of social skills curriculum. Try reading one of Rick Lavoie or Michelle Garcia Winner's books. It's been well established that kids learn social skills from their peers. Kids with processing issues need more "practice," which can be as simple as one-on-one get togethers with kids their own age or slightly younger.

Finding a good program/social skills group is useful b/c it helps kids hone their skills but the underlying issues never quite go away. It's like managing diabetes--better with a healthy diet, exercise, and in some cases medication. Social skills get stronger with "practice."

The neuropsych recommended both social skills curriculum that you mentioned but he also said that there simply aren't many peer review studies showing efficacy for social skills programs. There just aren't and certainly nowhere near the level that shows how to manage diabetes.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean "evidence based" or "peer review?" They are two different things. There is lots of evidence based research in social skills and yes, it's not as black and white as diabetes research, but it does make a difference. And much better than doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean "evidence based" or "peer review?" They are two different things. There is lots of evidence based research in social skills and yes, it's not as black and white as diabetes research, but it does make a difference. And much better than doing nothing.

Peer reviewed, but even the evidenced based ones have not been around long meaning the person had them as a child and are now an adult. Usually when the social skills therapy is evidenced based ones mean that the person had the social skills intervention 2-3 yrs ago at most and they appear to show some improvement and carryover from what they learned in the therapy a yr or two later. The difference from having the intervention or not is not terribly impressive and the follow up for most of these programs are usually nonexistent.