What are the best dating sites?

[Anonymous]

I am considering dating online. My divorce isn't quite finalized but I don't see the point in wasting time. I have two kids. Will I be wasting my time? Also, I am looking for divorce support groups. Any advice on how to get out there? Not interested in the bar scene completely as I'm. 39.

[Anonymous]

My soon-to-be ex-husband just lined up three dates on Match.com and I feel like it's too bad I can't post a warning. He has loathesome qualities that he will try to conceal...for a while.

[Anonymous]

And we are still married, for another five months.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on where you live. I'm 35, female, and in a city of 1.2 million (not in the DC area). Thus far I have tried Match and OKCupid and much prefer OKCupid. I had thought (and heard) that the quality would be better on the paid sites (e.g. Match) but that was not my experience.

[Anonymous]

Wait until the ink is dry and you are divorced. Gee. I would not date anyone formally separated but not divorced.

I have tried Match, OKCupid and Tindr. I abhored Match and didnt like paying them fees to get three dates out of it. The others are hookup sites.

I would recommend doing something you like or finding a meetup group.

[Anonymous]

From my personal experience, I would strongly recommend you try a dating website where the members pay a fee vs. one that is free.

In my opinion, those people that choose to pay to meet someone are the ones who usually are more serious minded about finding a mate and are usually more invested in their search.

I find the men on the free dating websites to usually be out for either sex only or sometimes money. I have met some scam artists from Nigeria who have asked me to send them cash.

I am currently on Christianmingle.com

I paid $95 for a six-month membership and have only been on a month.

I haven't gotten any messages yet, but still keeping my fingers crossed.

Stay tuned..................................................................

[Anonymous]

Yikes to the previous to PPs. I'm 23:52 and while I wouldn't say that I don't receive my fair share of of messages from guys looking for hookups, there are also plenty of nice men who aren't pervy on OKCupid. I've been out with 3 men in 6 weeks who were pleasant, polite, accomplished etc. and did not mention sex during the messaging or on on the first date, and all of them asked me on a second date.

To the other PP, I understand it's different for men (you didn't specify your gender, nor your age) but if you're a woman who has been on a dating site for a month and you haven't received a single message yet, I'd try another site. Your demographic isn't on that site. It just isn't that hard for women (and I am one). Yes, the messages might not be of quality, yes, you may not have found someone you want to date, but you should at least be receiving messages unless you have (and I am struggling with how to word this here) some very specific characteristics that make dating you...not for everyone. I am not presuming to know what those might be, but if you're not receiving messages on a mainstream site (which I believe Christian Mingle to be, but can't say because I haven't tried it) maybe look into there's a more niche site for you/your particular circumstance?

[Anonymous]

Dating sites are a losing proposition for guys. I've had some great dates but not enough for the amount of time I was spending reading profiles on okc.

[Anonymous]

I would agree that a month without any messages is odd. You're new fish so thats usually the time when you receive lots of messages. Christian dating sites to me would probably attract more women than men though. Jdate is different I imagine and much more established.

[Anonymous]

Dumb question here (not OP) but do you have to be Jewish to go In J-date? I'm not Jewish but my ex is, so I have a clearly Jewish last name.

[Anonymous]

Single guy here who has had much success with dating in real life.....and bewildered by 'online dating'

My experience with online dating is that it is riddled with three types of women: Those who just got out of a LTR and are looking to rebound; those who have wasted a lot of time and are scrambling to satisfy the biological clock and family expectations; and those who are downright vain, and are window shopping for 'the best' or 'the ideal' out there.

OP, I think you should just use the time to refocus your life and enjoy being single before you put yourself out there again. Very few and far in between women who are baggage free on those sites....don't add to the count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single guy here who has had much success with dating in real life.....and bewildered by 'online dating'

My experience with online dating is that it is riddled with three types of women: Those who just got out of a LTR and are looking to rebound; those who have wasted a lot of time and are scrambling to satisfy the biological clock and family expectations; and those who are downright vain, and are window shopping for 'the best' or 'the ideal' out there.

OP, I think you should just use the time to refocus your life and enjoy being single before you put yourself out there again. Very few and far in between women who are baggage free on those sites....don't add to the count.

I should add that I am also divorced and so know that the first few months after a separation/divorce are very crucial and a lot of emotional rawness still exists. Besides, the last time I connected with a separated woman, it basically fizzled into her not being ready emotionally for anything, and she was just lonely and wanted a black penis (sorry but that's what it is). So I have 1st hand experience on both sides....just in case anyone questions my credentials

[Anonymous]

Met my husband on jdate.

[Anonymous]

Some intensely negative responses on here!

I met my wife on match, and also found several good LTRs on match, chemistry and OKC. I went on a few dates from PoF.

I would never do christianmingle or eHarmony as I am kind of anti-religiosity, an atheist (cultural protestant - Episcopal, not Calvinist), and I suspect that those sites have only overt or closet-case thumpers. I am a bit of a perv/kinky person (though not just looking for hookups) so I really liked OKC - mainly because it was easy to screen out people who were unlikely to be a good fit if and when we ever got to the bedroom. I was not looking for ONS or hookups.

I don't think online dating is any different from bar, meetup or other dating: it's just a way of finding out who else is in/on the market - often people you would otherwise never encounter. I did run into women who were trying to beat their biological clocks and felt they weren't interested in me, so much as certain superficial attributes, and I passed on them. Given my age cohort (30-40), I ran into a lot of women who had commitment/intimacy issues which were the reason they had never settled down. The thing is: this is no different than meeting women (or men) anywhere else.

As a previously divorced person myself, I have to agree that you should wait a good long while (I'd suggest a year) post-divorce, not post-separation before starting anything serious with someone new. I do think there's nothing wrong with casual dating and booty calls during that period...just don't trust your emotions...they're in a churn...don't make any long-term commitments or plans. The booty call can always turn into something serious after that year.

[Anonymous]

Didn't meet my wife on Match but got two serious relationships from it. They were both quality women who had gone through some weird notes (guys in bathing suits, one dick picture) before we met. Met about six other women who were nice, but no romantic interest, although one is now a friend.

My two cents: it should only be part of what a person does to meet dating partners. For women, you will be inundated with messages but that is also because guys will send a note to anyone with female organs. For men, you meet much fewer people but if you are not a douche, can have reasonable success.