Custody questions not married
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Anonymous
| What rights would I have over my child if I leave his father. We are not married and have been together for 5 years. I live in his house. I am in health care but stopped working after I had my child who is now 2. Not looking for any financial support but wonder how custody works when not married and not in common law yet. Live in VA. Can't afford expensive lawyer. Any low cost options? Feeling overwhelmed. Thanks. |
Anonymous
| Custody will likely be 50-50...why wouldn't it be? Because you aren't married? Makes no difference. The father has rights. |
Anonymous
When did she say he didn't? I think you are putting your own negative spin on the OP. |
Anonymous
| You must move out in order to establish custody & support. You don't need a lawyer to file unless your SO has one. How will you support yourself? Custody is presumed 50/50 in VA |
Anonymous
|
I was in your position several years ago. I got together the couple of hundred bucks for a consult with an attorney. I strongly suggest you do the same.
We worked out a parenting and custody agreement. I paid the attorney to do her write up, or whatever it was that she added to the full-in-the-blank agreement we found on the internet. It's filed with the court and enforceable. There's no cheaper way to do it, IME. An agreement not brought in front of a judge is not enforceable. I think it cost $1K for the attorney. If there is not a history of abuse or something equally risky, you can expect 50/50 custody. It's always a better idea to come to an agreement on your own before going to court. |
Anonymous
|
I think it pretty much varies by State, so I would try to find a legal aid clinic close to you and ask to speak to someone in the area.
Or if you can, perhaps visit a legal library in your town and look up some info. If both options above are not feasible, perhaps your public local library has some reference books on the law and you can look up some regarding familial and custodial issues. Ask the librarian or go on the library's database to see what they have. If your local library does not have it, they can get one sent to them by another one in your city by reserve. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| Op here. Was thinking of leaving our child with significant other as I will likely need to stay with a friend and won't havey own place for a few months. I'm only a couple years out of an in demand field and could likely find work easily. Was wondering if I left if that would mean giving up rights to my child? I'm in a bad place and just need a break from significant other but don't want to pull child out of familiar environment/home until I have something stable. |
Anonymous
| What do you mean by "left"? To another state? The relationship? |
Anonymous
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How will the environment be familiar and stable if you are not there? You have been at home as the primary caregiver for the past 2 years, yes?
It seems as if this bad place that you are describing must be really bad. |
Anonymous
| Fyi va doesnt recognize common law. Im in a similar situation as you except we have a 4yo and 2yo, together 8 years and I dont want him getting unsupervised time with kids while they are still little so I stay. |
Anonymous
Oh no, I am so sorry to hear that. But you can't stay with him for the next 18 years. I would definitely thinking about getting your situation all ready and moving out. Maybe he wont press for custody and you will be okay. |
Anonymous
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If you leave your daughter theft while you go elsewhere, it could be a huge legal mistake. Work out a joint custody agreement thay you can live with long term. Sharing a room with your child is way better than doing what the state considers abandonment. Once you make a custody agreement in VA, you will need a good reason to change it. Don't start off with giving up custody. You need to think long and hard on why you think walking away from your child is less important than you needing a break.
If you're considering living with a boyfriend, you need to discuss that with an attorney. |
Anonymous
| There, not theft. |
Anonymous
|
OP, your custody rights to your child are not dependent on your being married to the child's father. You have a parental relationship to your child which is not dependent on marital status.
However, leaving your child could seriously jeopardize custody of your child in a custody fight between two parents. It would speak poorly of your commitment to your child. It wouldn't mean that you gave up all rights to your child, but custody might be awarded to your ex. |
Anonymous
| Paternity/ custody/ child support are completely separate and independent issues from marriage/ alimony/ division of joint assets. |