Can I skip out on Christmas dinner?

[Anonymous]

I am in my early twenties and Have a painful history with my father (he was physically abusive and was and still is emotionally abusive). My mother got a divorce and moved to a different part of the country so I can't go to her place instead. and his whole extended family is weird and passive aggressive and think he hangs the moon even though they know he was physically violent to us and that my mother had to get a restraining order against him(so I mean, the physical abuse was well documented). I spent Christmas Eve with them last night and it was interminable torture. How wrong would it be to skip Christmas dinner?

[Anonymous]

I think you have every reason to distance yourself from an abusive parent.

[Anonymous]

Skip it. It's consequences for his actions.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to ever see him again, you don't have to.

[Anonymous]

Skip it. Practice being non-passive agressive by telling them some version of the truth (don't just say you feel sick).

[Anonymous]

Tell them you have that stomach bug that is going around. Make them spend the day wondering if every twinge is them getting sick too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want to ever see him again, you don't have to.

+1

[Anonymous]

Skip it. You are an adult now. Start making your choices now. If someone asks just say you already have plans or would just like a quiet day to yourself.

[Anonymous]

You are sick. Cold and stomach bug.

[Anonymous]

Why would you attend? You're an adult now. Your family is the family you choose (friends).

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to everyone for your input. The problem is I am living with my father since I moved back to dc from college (a couple of months ago, to save money while I find a job). Usually I go out of my way to avoid him, but having to be around him for several hours, and my passive aggressive grandmother, is just awful. He comes from a wealthy family and they have used their wealth to screw my mother over and were so cruel to all of us. So he will know if I cancel. I know I need to move out, and I am trying to get the money together, but I have bad credit and it's hard. I just know they will all talk behind my back if I don't go and it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks to everyone for your input. The problem is I am living with my father since I moved back to dc from college (a couple of months ago, to save money while I find a job). Usually I go out of my way to avoid him, but having to be around him for several hours, and my passive aggressive grandmother, is just awful. He comes from a wealthy family and they have used their wealth to screw my mother over and were so cruel to all of us. So he will know if I cancel. I know I need to move out, and I am trying to get the money together, but I have bad credit and it's hard. I just know they will all talk behind my back if I don't go and it sucks.

get incredibly drunk and excuse yourself early. go to a hotel for the night? last minute plans with a friend?

[Anonymous]

OP, you live with him to save money?

You sound like a peach yourself.

Have some self respect.

[Anonymous]

Find a friend to stay with until you find a job. This sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you live with him to save money?

You sound like a peach yourself.

Have some self respect.

NP says, you're a shitty person.