Christmas present for older kids/teens

[Anonymous]

I always feel guilty when I see people post what they are giving their kids for Christmas, because I feel like my son gets so much from me. Part of that is that we have a very small extended family, so he's not getting a lot elsewhere, but the list always still seems long to me.

One thing that I notice, though, is that when I see lists from people who have what I'd consider a frugal Christmas, is that there are often gifts that, to me, imply that their kid owns other more expensive items. So, for example, I'll read that a kid got American girl PJ's, or an Xbox game, or earbuds, or guitar picks, and I figure that that kid probably owns an American girl, and Xbox, some kind of device that plays music or a guitar.

I'm curious when kids are getting those bigger things? Is it that some years your kid gets a gift like an Xbox, and other years all they get is a game, or would something on the level of an Xbox never be a Christmas gift in your family? If you have multiple kids, do some get big presents while others don't (e.g. Emma already has an American Doll so she gets PJ's, but Lucy doesn't have one yet so she gets a doll)? Or are they getting the big things at some other time or from somewhere else?

My teen has, and "needs"* the following expensive items.

A phone, so he can let me know where he is, and that he's safe
A computer, so he can complete (the only other computer in the house goes to work with me, so we can't exactly share)
A bike, so he get to school and other places when I'm at work and can't drive him
A pair of hockey skates, so he can play hockey, plus other equipment

Every year, by Christmas, at least one of these things needs to be replaced. Often more than one. Things get outgrown or they wear out or they get stolen. So, every year by Christmas, I'm buying him a couple expensive items, plus some slightly less expensive items like new hockey gloves or a replacement for the backpack he's had since 4th grade which is held together with duct tape, plus maybe something small he just really wants, and a book or two, and suddenly my list is out of control compared to what I see here.

If you are one of the people who spends $50 or $100 at Christmas, do your kids not own big ticket items? If they do, where do those things come from if not Christmas? Do they get big things some years but not others?

* To be clear, I know he doesn't actually need these things. Doing his work at home, and not staying at the school library, going to a school that's not in our immediate neighborhood, and playing a sport are all luxuries, but they are pretty common luxuries for middle class kids.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I think it's important not to compare. People give gifts based on their family traditions/income level/personal philosophy.

--There are cheap phones. It doesn't need to be the latest iPhone.
--There relatively cheap laptops if he needs a computer for school.
--If you belong to a neighborhood list serve, I'd email asking if people are done with a bike suitable for teen. People have done that several time in my neighborhood.
--The are used sport equipment sales, but skates might be something you want to buy new and if he doesn't have a sudden growth spurt, something he can use for some time.

[Anonymous]

Well, we celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah, so we do "big" gifts only on birthdays (phone, bike, AG doll have all been birthday gifts over the years) and smaller gifts spread across Christmas and Hanukkah in December.

Other "big" items kids have earned $ for (another AG doll, Nintendo DS) by saving allowance/chore/birthday money.

I'm sure we're not the only ones.

[Anonymous]

My 11 yr old doesn't really have big ticket items. She has an iPod touch that she's had since 4th grade. She's in sixth now. She got hair stuff and a magazine subscription and socks for Hanukah this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 11 yr old doesn't really have big ticket items. She has an iPod touch that she's had since 4th grade. She's in sixth now. She got hair stuff and a magazine subscription and socks for Hanukah this year.

Except that 4th grade year, when the big ticket item was the iPod touch!

OP, mine is in 4th, and we don't do electronics yet. But I generally spend $200-$300 at Christmas for toys and books for each child. I am picky, so even if the kids don't get many gifts (our house is small), the ones they have are high end. Plus they hardly get anything during the year. Christmas is an important Holiday for us. I have found through observing my good friends' lifestyles that they may be spending less at that time, but spend much, much more in total year-round.

In short, whatever works for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I think it's important not to compare. People give gifts based on their family traditions/income level/personal philosophy.

--There are cheap phones. It doesn't need to be the latest iPhone.
--There relatively cheap laptops if he needs a computer for school.
--If you belong to a neighborhood list serve, I'd email asking if people are done with a bike suitable for teen. People have done that several time in my neighborhood.
--The are used sport equipment sales, but skates might be something you want to buy new and if he doesn't have a sudden growth spurt, something he can use for some time.

OP here, I buy pretty much everything used, or lower cost. But even if he gets a $50 pay as you go phone, and $100 worth of used hockey equipment, and a few books, we're well ahead of what people post here. So, I'm curious how they do it.

This year, for example, he needs a new (to him) phone, new (to him) skates, new (to him) hockey pants, and a new (to him) bike. Needs as in the old ones are either on death'd doorstep (the 3 year old pay as you go phone) not functional (badly torn pants, beyond the help of duct tape), not fitting (skates), or returned to the family who lent it to us because their next oldest kid was getting close to that size (bike). So, that's 4 pretty big presents, and even if we go with used, and trade in used equipment for them, it's well above what other people claim they spend. Plus I'll still get him a few books, and some edible treats for his stocking, and probably a video game because I like to have 1 thing that's 100% fun.

[Anonymous]

Well, first people lie, exaggerate, omit details etc.

If you're able to get him the gifts he needs and wants, even if they're "big" items, so be it. What others do is really irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

I wouldnt worry about it, OP. I probably spend $300 on each of my kids most years.

[Anonymous]

We don't spend much and, with the exception of one set of generous grandparents, the kids get nothing from anyone else. My brother-in-law's kids get gifts from so many people that they barely buy anything. As the kids get older, I feel a little bad that they will feel slighted compared to what their friends and cousins receive. One kid wants a laptop this year. He doesn't need it yet for school so he won't get it. It is uncharacteristically for him to ask for anything so I am feeling guilty. But I really do not like the consumerism.

I hope the presents we chose will still be fun even though they are not pricey.

[Anonymous]

OP: we just get updates on the winter clothes at Christmas, and maybe on other thing. The needs for older kids just do not coincide with Christmas. They need a computer and a phone -- but at the beginning of the year in September. They very much want a summer camp -- but that is in the summer. So we are low key about it.

[Anonymous]

Older kids are highly driven by the things other kids have -- so hard to figure out and usually so over priced. Vineyard vines, ect. Apple products ...

[Anonymous]

For us, the big ticket items (usually electronic) come at Xmas or Bday.

We also have a smallish family, so my kids get maybe 5 or 6 xmas gifts each (and one is from Santa), and they are usually all under $30 to $50 each. This year, there is no big ticket item. All under $50. They make out great compared to what my DH and I used to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldnt worry about it, OP. I probably spend $300 on each of my kids most years.

I'm this poster. I should add that this year my teen is getting a laptop. So we are way over our usual budget for him this year. He's also getting some clothes and a pair of sneakers.

[Anonymous]

We're in a high cost Christmas year - we've never had any gaming device, and we're getting our boys (8 and 10) an Xbox this year. We did get the "old" version, 360 and not the new Xbox, but still, that's made it a pricier than normal Christmas. We don't get an expensive thing every year, but we do try to get a "wow" thing every year. Last year, that happened to be freakishly large stuffed animals that I found on a Black Friday sale for $20 each.

As for other big costs, my kids tend to get bikes in the spring - for Easter if both boys need them, (which is weird, I know, but it's the start of when they can ride them again - I don't want to size them at Christmas when they may grow a substantive amount before they can really ride again) or for my older son's Spring Birthday if only he is getting one (because there's a hand me down appropriate for younger son).

My kids do usually get 6-8 small gifts each year, but I try to spread the purchasing out all year so that it's not a big cost hit at Christmas. We're also pretty stingy during the rest of the year - gifts are for Christmas, Birthdays, and there's an Easter basket with small things (and sometimes a bike, or scooter, or other outdoor athletic spring time type equipment). We don't ever buy just random toys unless the kids are buying it with their own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I think it's important not to compare. People give gifts based on their family traditions/income level/personal philosophy.

--There are cheap phones. It doesn't need to be the latest iPhone.
--There relatively cheap laptops if he needs a computer for school.
--If you belong to a neighborhood list serve, I'd email asking if people are done with a bike suitable for teen. People have done that several time in my neighborhood.
--The are used sport equipment sales, but skates might be something you want to buy new and if he doesn't have a sudden growth spurt, something he can use for some time.

OP here, I buy pretty much everything used, or lower cost. But even if he gets a $50 pay as you go phone, and $100 worth of used hockey equipment, and a few books, we're well ahead of what people post here. So, I'm curious how they do it.

This year, for example, he needs a new (to him) phone, new (to him) skates, new (to him) hockey pants, and a new (to him) bike. Needs as in the old ones are either on death'd doorstep (the 3 year old pay as you go phone) not functional (badly torn pants, beyond the help of duct tape), not fitting (skates), or returned to the family who lent it to us because their next oldest kid was getting close to that size (bike). So, that's 4 pretty big presents, and even if we go with used, and trade in used equipment for them, it's well above what other people claim they spend. Plus I'll still get him a few books, and some edible treats for his stocking, and probably a video game because I like to have 1 thing that's 100% fun.

I see what you're saying. I guess people either choose to buy things throughout the year, or save everything for Christmas and/or birthday gifts. I overspent this year for Christmas in the past few weeks. It made me realize I'd do better to shop used stores and Craigslist throughout the year to save money.