at what age do you let son enter men's public restroom alone?

[Anonymous]

I will make a confession up front: My son is only 2YO and today is the first day I looked at this board. However, I think you moms may be able to help allay some fears - or teach me some strategies.

I am a single mom, and I suppose I worry enough for two parents. I have NO CLUE at what age one lets a son enter the men's room and wonder how others have handled this. TIA

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the boards. This thread might be a help: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/31209.page#198531

FWIW, my son is 6 and I let him go in by himself some places, like in a small restaurant with a one-room bathroom, but not in a big public place like a movie theater or shopping mall. He still comes with me into the ladies' room in those cases.

[Anonymous]

Yep - my youngest is six and unless one of the older boys is with him he goes with me into the ladies room. He doesn't like it but too bad. No way I'd let him go alone in the movies or Target. Will probably continue for a few more months until 1st grade. Likewise, I've offered to take a girl into the ladies room when I see an uncomfortable-looking dad at Target, etc. The thought of taking a 3~4 yo girl into the men's room?!

[Anonymous]

my son is 5, and he stays with me. i dread the transition when he starts to fight the women's room. for now we are ok.

he's totally fine with the women's locker room at the pool. there are so many moms with young boys there that he doesn't feel strange. he is however starting to want privacy so he'll go change by himself in a bathroom stall rather than in the open areas by the lockers.

[Anonymous]

I think the PP's are about right; around six for a men's room in a controlled situation (small restaurant, you can see the door) and by around eight otherwise. The WORST is restrooms at sports stadiums where there are multiple exits - and by the age that you're going to games together the ladies room is pretty much out.

[Anonymous]

Agree that six is fine for a controlled situation - a restaurant where you can see who goes in and out, the bathroom at a store where you are standing right outside, etc. Once they hit about seven or eight, it's time to move them on. FWIW, my oldest boy is now 10 and I don't think I'll ever get used to sending him to a public bathroom alone. It's very stressful. And, even if you don't move them on, the school will. When they are on field trips, they don't always have someone with them when they use the restroom.

[Anonymous]

No public restrooms until marriage! Don't you watch TLC!?

[Anonymous]

Hey there, OP. There was a thread a long while back about this very topic in the single mom forum. My tactic for dealing with this in places I don't feel too confortable about (but he's bigger and would not go into the ladies room with me) is to say in a loud, deep, booming voice "You have 30 seconds and then I'm coming in after you." Then I come in after him.

It's more for the benefit of the people standing around who are now hip to the fact that this crazy lady will, in fact, go in and get him if he doesn't come out in one unharmed piece than it is for his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey there, OP. There was a thread a long while back about this very topic in the single mom forum. My tactic for dealing with this in places I don't feel too confortable about (but he's bigger and would not go into the ladies room with me) is to say in a loud, deep, booming voice "You have 30 seconds and then I'm coming in after you." Then I come in after him.

It's more for the benefit of the people standing around who are now hip to the fact that this crazy lady will, in fact, go in and get him if he doesn't come out in one unharmed piece than it is for his.

If it'sot a single room then swing open the door and scream in "anyone in there?" Do it twice or more - then let the child in if it's empty - leave the door crooked open with you there and have the kid talk to you the entire time. I did this ALOT. If anyone needs to go in just say MY child is in there and will be right out.

A bigger problem is gyms and rec centers with joint children-grownup locker rooms. If the child isn't in there as part of a big loud group of kids I don't like it. Remember the teacher-perv at [if I remember correctly]the Springhill rec center in Mclean?

[Anonymous]

I have NEVER seen as much consensus on DCUM in a year of reading it, as I have on this topic.

[Anonymous]

My son is almost 8 (April) and I still make him go in the ladies room with me. I dont give a damn what anyone else thinks and I have made it perfectly clear to him that public restrooms are potentially dangerous and the ladies restroom is actually "the ladies and kids restroom."

[Anonymous]

Agreed. Fortunately, in many places, there are family restrooms now. hopefully those will continue to increase.

[Anonymous]

I hope so too. I cannot stand to see older boys in women's restrooms and it drives me NUTS when women bring their 7,8,9, 10 year old boys into the women's changing/locker room at the gym to change, shower, etc. I complain to an establishments management every time I see it.

[Anonymous]

shower/changing room is a different situation. Women aren't undressed in view in a ladies bathroom.

[Anonymous]

A six year old boy was abducted from a movie theater restroom near where I used to live a few years ago. That frightened me so much that I refused to let DS use a public restroom until he was 8, and even then I waited outside the door and called out to him every minute or two. I make DH take time off from work to go on field trips with DS if there's no other dad going -- I do not want him (or any of the other boys) using a public restroom unaccompanied by an adult.