Why are busy professional parents not wanted as foster parents?
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Anonymous
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I have noticed that one of the restrictions to foster parenting come from the parents' work schedules. Busy professionals can have their own kids, but the system seems to want a home with a SAH mom. What ends up happening is these accepted families are often really unemployed or underemployed, that's why they are home a lot. The system seems to inadvertently pick up a demographic where the kids will not be in a home with hard working professionals.
Not trying to criticize any lifestyle, but I just noticed that foster moms tend to fit a particular mold. |
Anonymous
| I used to foster and we both worked professional jobs (law and healthcare). It was not an impediment. But, truth is, unless you have kids stay long term, you have to have a job where you can take time off at the time a child is placed so that you can work out school and/or childcare. You don't get much notice of a placement. So, jobs that don't allow time off under these circumstances are not conducive to fostering. |
Anonymous
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Because there can be a lot of court dates and medical stuff during the business day. So it's ok if you have a flexible job, but if you don't, it will be pretty tough.
And fostering is a big time commitment, taking care of the kid and all their family visits and special needs and everything. It would be really hard to juggle a full-time job on top of it. |
Anonymous
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+1 about the short notice. And you're supposed to be open to adopting them forever, or just fostering them briefly, and you may not know for YEARS what's going to happen. So it's really hard to plan a big career around that kind of uncertainty.
I enjoy this blogger: http://www.babble.com/parenting/8-reasons-why-childless-young-professionals-make-ideal-foster-parents/ But then, from the same blogger... http://www.babble.com/parenting/i-wish-my-job-was-adoption-friendly/ |
Anonymous
I'm pretty sure the DC foster care agency (CFSA) advertises as open to all types of foster parents. I agree that you need flexibility to take time off when you have a child placed with you and for lots of appointments. |
Anonymous
| They don't seem to want to deal with nannies. So yes, these kids are more likely to end up living with a certain demographic. |
Anonymous
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It's because of all the time commitments. You might have, say, birth parent visitation twice a week. Birth extended family visits monthly and for holidays. Maintaining relationships with birth siblings in different living situations. Court sometimes, which often requires waiting around all day. Sometimes you have a lawyer and you have to meet with the lawyer. Whatever medical problems the kid has, plus early intervention stuff like speech therapy. Being home for caseworker visits at the appointed time. Catching up on missed dentist, eye doctor, etc. A nanny can do a lot of this stuff, but for much of it, the parent must be present. And much of it happens during the week.
I don't want to put anyone off it, because fostering is a wonderful thing. But it's important to be realistic about the logistics. I look forward to fostering if I take early retirement. |
Anonymous
| Another reason is that often children in the foster care system are neglected or have issues that require more attention. The ideal is to have someone available to parent them and provide attention. I have a co-worker who has children of his own and then fostered a young brother-sister pair. The two had issues of neglect stemming from a mother with substance abuse issues and from general neglect such as social dysfunction. The foster system was looking for someone with a stay at home parent to care for them to give them more constant and direct attention rather than attention via a nanny or daycare in addition to the foster parents. They were hoping for simpler situations with fewer caretakers involved. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, I think it's that the CFSA staff aren't used to 2-parent working families. Many of them didn't come from that situation themselves, are not raising kids in that situation, and don't place a lot of kids in those types of households. They are much more used to the families where the kid are removed and the kinship placements where the kids are usually sent, which are overwhelmingly single parents and often don't include full time and/or professional workers. So they aren't set up for families that are different from their norm.
Also, I think some workers are anxious that a more professional parent will be too pushy or hard for them to work with. Race and class issues come in here too. |
Anonymous
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I think it's rather obvious ?
They want the parent to spend a lot of time with the child |
Anonymous
| I think it's the attachment issue like 13:31 mentioned. If you're trying to build a family, it's just simpler without a nanny/daycare. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
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I have a child whose special needs are relatively mild in the sense that he will become a functioning adult, but still had to quit my job in order to be available for all his early intervention therapy appointments. Now he needs me after school to tutor him extensively on homework, and since I know his quirks best, it's more beneficial for him to have me as his tutor, instead of somebody else. FYI... |
Anonymous
| Well, DC CFSA has placed kids with my white lesbian neighbors who both work full time in professional jobs. If you're committed to becoming a foster parent, go for it. |
Anonymous
In this case, I'm going to have to agree. Usually, I don't side with the SAHP/WOHP arguement as to which is better for a family. However, in the case of a foster child, they the need consistency. They don't need a foster mom, dad, brother, sister, AND a foster daycare provider or nanny. |