Can a 3 yr old be crazy?

[Anonymous]

Boy has very aggressive tendencies. History of biting in group settings. Lashing out physically when angry. School is suggesting mental health intervention.
Boy can be very manipulative and appears to think we'll ahead of age / learning level for logical reasoning.
Also should it be a psychiatrist or psychologist for consult.

[Anonymous]

Well**

[Anonymous]

yikes -- what school is this? Is it school really or daycare? Jumping straight to "mental health intervention" at this age is wildly inappropriate, absent any other specific indicators (like school knows child has experienced trauma, or is delusional, etc.)

First step is appointment with pediatrician to rule out any medical issues.

All kids at this age are "manipulative," in the sense that they will do whatever is necessary to get themselves the basic needs met even if it seems counterproductive to an outsider. Thinking ahead of age level doesn't indicate pathological behavior -- the child could just be smart but have some disability that makes it difficult to communicate needs normally thus resulting in lashing out (not uncommon situation with language disorders).

School should be carefully documenting these incidents so it can be understood what the potential drivers are. Has school given you a list of the last X number of incidents including a description of who was there, what happened, any precipitating factors, how incident was handled, etc.? If not, big red flag for you about the quality of this school. The school should also be documenting "good behavior" in order to understand the circumstances when things are going right.

You should contact ChildFind in your state to see what resources are available. The state has an obligation to "find" all kids who are disabled within the state and offer them services if necessary.

Other things to rule out would be hearing, speech/language, and developmental disorders like autism or sensory processing disorders.

If all the above is normal, then meeting with a psychologist to understand about behavior and modification techniques.

BTW, I hate the word "crazy" -- it is very pejorative and contributes to stigma. If the child ends up having a mental illness, then deal with it like any other chronic illness. We don't label people with diabetes with stigmatic names like "crazy".

[Anonymous]

+1 on the first step should be checking with doctor to rule in or out medical issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yikes -- what school is this? Is it school really or daycare? Jumping straight to "mental health intervention" at this age is wildly inappropriate, absent any other specific indicators (like school knows child has experienced trauma, or is delusional, etc.)

First step is appointment with pediatrician to rule out any medical issues.

All kids at this age are "manipulative," in the sense that they will do whatever is necessary to get themselves the basic needs met even if it seems counterproductive to an outsider. Thinking ahead of age level doesn't indicate pathological behavior -- the child could just be smart but have some disability that makes it difficult to communicate needs normally thus resulting in lashing out (not uncommon situation with language disorders).

School should be carefully documenting these incidents so it can be understood what the potential drivers are. Has school given you a list of the last X number of incidents including a description of who was there, what happened, any precipitating factors, how incident was handled, etc.? If not, big red flag for you about the quality of this school. The school should also be documenting "good behavior" in order to understand the circumstances when things are going right.

You should contact ChildFind in your state to see what resources are available. The state has an obligation to "find" all kids who are disabled within the state and offer them services if necessary.

Other things to rule out would be hearing, speech/language, and developmental disorders like autism or sensory processing disorders.

If all the above is normal, then meeting with a psychologist to understand about behavior and modification techniques.

BTW, I hate the word "crazy" -- it is very pejorative and contributes to stigma. If the child ends up having a mental illness, then deal with it like any other chronic illness. We don't label people with diabetes with stigmatic names like "crazy".

Thank you. When they use words like aggressive, impulse control, lack empathy I started think serial killer. I didn't mean to offend just trying to focus on my kid.

[Anonymous]

I would start with a full developmental and medical evaluations to rule out anything medical first.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety in children presents as agression. Don't panic about sociopathy -- your kid could be terrified.

[Anonymous]

This is your kid? It could have been mine as a 4 yo. And the school didn't do all the things PP mentioned -- but they should have. Think they were hoping it would resolve on its own or by our seeking counseling for kid. He's better now!

I agree with starting with your pediatrician. Have you requested the school or early intervention do an evaluation? Get on a wait list for a developmental pediatrician visit too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your kid? It could have been mine as a 4 yo. And the school didn't do all the things PP mentioned -- but they should have. Think they were hoping it would resolve on its own or by our seeking counseling for kid. He's better now!

I agree with starting with your pediatrician. Have you requested the school or early intervention do an evaluation? Get on a wait list for a developmental pediatrician visit too.

Or mine at 3. Our preschool was pretty hands off but when I mentioned to them that I was concerned about his behavior and that I had an appt with a dev ped, they were very on board and very helpful.

To the PP who mentioned anxiety presenting as aggression. This is exactly what was happening with my kid. But at 3 he didn't know the words to communicate the problem. My son was in a preschool of 16 kids. The dev ped recommended a classroom with less children and a bigger space. Immediately, upon going into a less chaotic, less people environment, the hitting and bitting stopped. A year later, my son is able to say, "I don't like this place, it's too crowded" when we go somewhere and it really is too crowded.

[Anonymous]

Mine too. He is now a well adjusted 13 year old. We did do a social skills class at Ivymount when he was four and five. That really helped. I think he was very smart, but immature emotionally. It showed up as impulse control issues: biting, hitting, pushing. He never initiated any of the physical stuff, but he always responded to it with more force than necessary. He grew out of it in 5th grade, but it was a real struggle. He had wonderful teachers that really worked with him to learn to disengage from a situation BEFORE it got out of control.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

<<He is now a well adjusted 13 year old>>


Music to my ears -- hope it happens in our case

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I would run like hell from anyone that tried to diagnosis psychosis, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or anything like that in a preschooler. At that age, they should be looking at possible sensory issues, medical problems, possible ADHD, possible autism, or just plain old immaturity. Or that's its not a very good school. All three years olds are quite difficult, and some more challenging than others (for instance, I think all three year olds will lash out physically when angry -- mine kicked me yesterday when I told her no chocolate before dinner, for which she was promptly sent to her room until dinner was ready). If a school does not know how to properly direct and channel energy, it will manifest itself in antisocial ways.

[Anonymous]

Crazy people have to be children at some point, so sure.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you in DC? certain programs in the district utilize mental health consultants employed by DDH to help guide programs in developmentally appropriate ways and offer supports and services. These folks are trained in child development and are not therapists.

The main thing you should know is that the term mental health isn't as scary as it seems in this sense, it is the realm in which all screenings and development at this age fall. Not that your child has some level of psychosis...just that he may be having issues regulating/ communicating, in his classroom. The advice about where to start in terms of screenings from PP's above is spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is your kid? It could have been mine as a 4 yo. And the school didn't do all the things PP mentioned -- but they should have. Think they were hoping it would resolve on its own or by our seeking counseling for kid. He's better now!

I agree with starting with your pediatrician. Have you requested the school or early intervention do an evaluation? Get on a wait list for a developmental pediatrician visit too.

Or mine at 3. Our preschool was pretty hands off but when I mentioned to them that I was concerned about his behavior and that I had an appt with a dev ped, they were very on board and very helpful.

To the PP who mentioned anxiety presenting as aggression. This is exactly what was happening with my kid. But at 3 he didn't know the words to communicate the problem. My son was in a preschool of 16 kids. The dev ped recommended a classroom with less children and a bigger space. Immediately, upon going into a less chaotic, less people environment, the hitting and bitting stopped. A year later, my son is able to say, "I don't like this place, it's too crowded" when we go somewhere and it really is too crowded.

What school? - OP