when you think your boss is manipulative?
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Anonymous
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I'm beginning to think that I can't trust my immediate boss.
There have been a number of things that have happened that lead me to this conclusion. I believe he has taken credit for some of my work (on more than one occasion); he has keep me out of important meetings, etc. He has asked me to hold a hard-line on business issues when dealing with other departments…but doesn't back me up when I try to enforce his policies/procedures. In addition, he badmouths other department leaders with whom I need to work on a regular basis. I'm beginning to think he hangs me out to dry in ways I'm only beginning to suspect. At first, I thought he was trying to guide/protect/mentor me in terms of "watching out" for some of the more difficult people in our organization (I was new and I was his "hire" so I thought he was guiding me.) But, now I realize that no matter how good my product or efficiency, some of these other department leaders don't seem to be open to me. Some are almost hostile (even when getting good product from me). I had an ah-ha moment recently, where I began to wonder if my boss is stirring dissention among all of us. I'm beginning to think that maybe, with departments at odds to various degrees, he is able to maintain control. Come to think of it, he has instituted a number of re-orgs and now processes simultaneously (adding to the chaos). The longer I'm with the organization, the more I think I can't trust this person. I'd need to stay with the company for at least another 6 months before looking for another job. Any tips for navigating a boss that you think is not trusworthy? |
Anonymous
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Wow, are you me? I was about to log-on and write virtually the same thing about my immediate supervisor. Scary. He just presented me with his most recent re-org...it's scary. I also need to stay for at least 1 year and am so upset and confused by all of this.
My twist is that this awful supervisor trash talks everyone behind their backs, so I really dont trust him at all. But he keeps wanting to befriend me and my spouse (invitations for dinner, etc.). I would put the emoji of the person throwing up here, that's how he makes me feel. Sigh. |
Anonymous
Interesting my boss is a "she" but this is her to a "t" |
Anonymous
| Any one have advice on how to survive in this environment? My fear is that I will end up having to go to dinner (there are only so many times you can beg off). So awful!!!! |
Anonymous
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Oh, where to start.
He insists we put all of our leave (sick, out of office for business, etc) on both his and our own calendars, and then leaves me out of meetings, e-mails, etc. When I ask why, he giggles and says he "got confused" about when I would be in the office. He told another employee that the only reason our boss likes my work is because he fixes it and redoes my terrible work (not true...and after I heard this I made a point of submitting stuff to her directly). He tells me to "trust him" and "trust his bigger plan" like he is god or something. It's creepy. He talks shit about all of the staff outside our immediate team. I'm tired, but there's a lot more... |
Anonymous
| My boss is like this. I am actively looking for an exit strategy. Trust me, it will not get better. You need to leave before he poisons the well so badly that you can't use anyone at your company for a reference. |
Anonymous
| My boss is similar and is a she. It sucks and I'm making a move by this summer. Right now I'm her only direct report. Previous employees under her have either been fired or quit within 18 months. The poison has indeed spread. |
Anonymous
| OP again. The worst with mine is that he tells me to do something (push-back against other teams within our organization, typically) then he acts as if I'm rogue for doing it. Feel like I'm given marching orders and then hung out to drive. Urgh... |
Anonymous
Is quitting an option financially? You could use the time to job hunt. |
Anonymous
| I had this boss. Look for another job. Right now. Don't worry about how long you "should" stay. Every month you say your self esteem and professional rep will suffer. |
Anonymous
| This is trivial but relevant. Today a coworker asked me for a Japanese restaurant recommendation for an exec visiting town. I stated the name of a place and began to double check the address. At that instant my boss barged into our conversation, started googling with her phone, and yelled, "It's on Conn Ave, I'm printing the map now!" (She'd never even heard of the place before I mentioned it and she is allergic to seafood!). Sick sick sick |
Anonymous
So I know your point is that she took credit for your rec, but why on earth was she printing out a map?! |
Anonymous
Trying to one-up me. She does it all the time but usually it's work related. |