Presents -- what's fair? What's thoughtful?

[Anonymous]

My brother's girlfriend's kids are coming to our family Christmas celebration. This is the day I give my niece and nephew their gifts. They are all middle school aged. I was going to get girlfriend's kids each $25 iTunes cards. But that's not equal with what I get my niece and nephew. Is that rude or thoughtless? I can't really spend as much on them as I do my niece and nephew. I'm over budget now as it is. This is their first year with us and I dont want to offend them. (Or my brother) But I don't know them at all. So I'm not really sure how to approach this.

Would really appreciate some been there, done that advice. Especially from people from blended families.

[Anonymous]

A token gift is fine. I think your idea is very nice.

[Anonymous]

Very thoughtful.

[Anonymous]

Very nice.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Wow, thanks. I thought I was going to end up hurting feelings.

[Anonymous]

are they all the same age? i think this makes a difference

[Anonymous]

I think it's nice but it kind of depends what you get the nieces and nephews, and their ages. If they're around the same age and they're going to have a huge stack of gifts to open, maybe instead of a $25 gift card you get (for example) a $10 gift card, a book, some nail polish, and a small card game. It takes more thought but no more money. I'm normally NOT a fan of quantity over quality but kids don't always understand the difference. ALso up to a certain age it's really fun for them to have somethign to open that they can use/play with right then and there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's nice but it kind of depends what you get the nieces and nephews, and their ages. If they're around the same age and they're going to have a huge stack of gifts to open, maybe instead of a $25 gift card you get (for example) a $10 gift card, a book, some nail polish, and a small card game. It takes more thought but no more money. I'm normally NOT a fan of quantity over quality but kids don't always understand the difference. ALso up to a certain age it's really fun for them to have somethign to open that they can use/play with right then and there.

Yes, I would go with something along this approach. You can also get some Bath & Body Works trial size lotions. Definitely something more than a gift card in envelope.

[Anonymous]

I would do a $10 gift card.

[Anonymous]

I think your idea is really nice and more than thoughtful. When I was new to a family, people did this type of thing, so I wouldn't be sitting there while everyone (adults) opened gifts.

[Anonymous]

As a child I went to my mother's boyfriend's family Christmas. I received a couple small presents and was through the moon. I think any small gesture will be well received, and if it isn't then that is their problem!

[Anonymous]

Are you the OP of another recent thread about a brother with a new girlfriend and her kids all coming for the holiday? If you haven't met the kids before, I think it's fine to spend less on them than you are spending on your own niece and nephew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very thoughtful.

+1, and ignore the other pp's advice -- don't try to cobble a bunch of crap together to make it seem like more