grandparent favoring one child over the other...

[Anonymous]

so, maybe not major, but MIL sometimes mails letters or cards or gifts, she only addresses them to my older child "DD lastname"
the card inside usually (not always) has both kids names on it

While my younger child can't read, he sure as hell can hear when his older sister says "Gm only sent this card for me - see, it has my name on the front"

last time she did this, I called and said the card was so sweet, but that DS felt really sad that his name wasn't on it and that DD used it as a way to tease DS (3.5). GM acted super surprised and was chagrined (i think), but lo and behold, it happened again. today.

Would you say anything to GM?

[Anonymous]

That is really bizarre and, if intentional, really crappy. Any chance GM is a bit senile?

[Anonymous]

Remind the GM again, but also talk to your bratty daughter about being nice to her little brother. She is just as much at fault.

[Anonymous]

You said she actually favors one kid over the other, but is this the only incidence? I would mention it to her again. Let her know your little one feels left out. If it continues, you can open the envelopes, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind the GM again, but also talk to your bratty daughter about being nice to her little brother. She is just as much at fault.

Yes

[Anonymous]

op here - not senile at all. there are also other incidences of favoring the older one, but those are less obvious to younger - more expensive gifts, bigger checks...

[Anonymous]

I'd write DC2's name in there or toss the envelope and just show them the letter with both names. Maybe she still thinks of DC2 as a 'baby' but 3.5 year olds would notice stuff like this, at least mine would.

[Anonymous]

Throw out the envelope. And if my older daughter teased my younger about the card only being addressed to her, I'd tell her "Your attitude is so disgusting you don't deserve anything. Go to your room. I'll think about whether or not you even deserve dinner."

I'm not raising bitches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind the GM again, but also talk to your bratty daughter about being nice to her little brother. She is just as much at fault.

Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind the GM again, but also talk to your bratty daughter about being nice to her little brother. She is just as much at fault.

No she isn't. She is a child. The adult is much worse.

[Anonymous]

GM may be doing this because of age, thinking that the older one needs more expensive things, etc. The envelope thing is not ideal but may just be because older DD reads, especially if the card itself has both names. That particular instance is a parenting issue to manage your older DDs behavior.

Do you see a difference in the way GM emotionally and personally relates to your kids? Is she warmer and nicer to one than the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Throw out the envelope. And if my older daughter teased my younger about the card only being addressed to her, I'd tell her "Your attitude is so disgusting you don't deserve anything. Go to your room. I'll think about whether or not you even deserve dinner."

I'm not raising bitches.

This is a great idea. GM maybe starting to forget things.

[Anonymous]

I would not expect an older child and a younger child to get the same thing. My GM would give me $3.50 and my sister $6.00. The amount matched our ages. I as long as there is not a huge disparity in the gifts(older kid got a Kindle and little kid got a rubber band) just remind GM to send 2 different cards or put both names on the envelope or better yet address it to the adults to pass along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Throw out the envelope. And if my older daughter teased my younger about the card only being addressed to her, I'd tell her "Your attitude is so disgusting you don't deserve anything. Go to your room. I'll think about whether or not you even deserve dinner."

I'm not raising bitches.

We could be best friends. I don't let my kids get away with crap like this either.