If you have a freshman DD or older...

[Anonymous]

I need help coping with my daughter's growing pains. I know I should post this in "older kids" or "off topic" but I'm looking for help from my direct peers or those who have gone before me. Overall, our lives are really good and there is so much for which to be grateful but I just seem to be struggling recently as she manages the challenges of being 14, especially the social bumps along the way and watching her make decisions that are not always the right ones, IMO. We've never tried to shield her from disappointment and believe in her learning life's lessons before she goes away to college but lately I just seem to be feeling the pain a bit more acutely. I don't know if it's my middle age (and all that comes with that) or freshman year or both. A couple of years ago I read a helpful post that the most difficult years are 4th, 7th and 9th. Did any of you feel that about 9th grade? If 9th grade was hard for you as a parent, did 10th and 11th get easier? Thanks for reading and offering any advice.

[Anonymous]

Can you give some examples of what the problem is exactly?

[Anonymous]

9th has been very difficult for my DD so far, primarily socially. And thus it's been a difficult year for me...it's hard to watch your child suffer. But I'm determined to let her find her own way...she's feeling pretty isolated, but it's not my role to make social arrangements for her anymore...she needs to figure out how to navigate that. I certainly give her advice and coaching, probably more than she wants, along with a supportive ear whenever she needs it. But, yes, the social bumps are painful, and I feel the impact, too. No advice to offer...we're still in the woods. But you're not alone!

[Anonymous]

9th grade was the peak of stress/conflict/unhappiness for both my DDs. It DOES get better in our experience X 2! Even the DD who ended up in therapy that year was great a few years later.