How can I deal with the death of a loved one

[Anonymous]

My grandfather passed away in his sleep this past summer. He was sick, but I was shocked when he passed because he wasn't hospitalized. Anyway, this is the first time that I have lost someone close to me. It's so strange that he won't be there at Christmas dinner and that he's not around when I am on the phone with my grandmother. I have been crying a lot lately and have been unable to focus. I have a good friend that allowed me to just hug him and cry, but I honestly don't know what to do. I'm crying most of the time.

[Anonymous]

That's just the way it goes. You ride it out, you get used to it, eventually the pain softens and the happier memories shine brighter. Try to take care of yourself, exercise and stay positive. Maybe writing down your feelings would help.

[Anonymous]

Set aside time to be sad. Make a conscious decision to look through a photo album and just miss him. Then try to go somewhere and think how happy he'd be for you enjoying yourself. It will be hard, but know that he'll always be alive in your family's memories and traditions.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your loss. It does get easier, believe me, the first year of holidays is always the hardest. Cry when you need to and maybe consider grief therapy or a grief support group.

[Anonymous]

Grief is a process. A wise therapist once told me the only way past it is through it. Let yourself be sad and feel the emotions. That's how you work through it.

[Anonymous]

If you have a photograph of him, just talk to him and tell him how much you loved him and how you miss him
My brother died very young of a blood clot. I cried so hard and hugged his photograph and told him I was sorry that I never told him how much I loved him. A few years ago, I had a dream about him and he told me not to worry because he knew without my telling him. Be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

I just lost someone close to me, too. It helps me so much to reminisce with others who loved him and when I do things he loved (like taking a walk around the neighborhood), I think of him and talk to him in my mind. I still love him so much and that will always be a part of me, which is a comfort. As PP said, you have to get through it and feel it to heal, and I'm letting that happen. It just reflects what he means to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just lost someone close to me, too. It helps me so much to reminisce with others who loved him and when I do things he loved (like taking a walk around the neighborhood), I think of him and talk to him in my mind. I still love him so much and that will always be a part of me, which is a comfort. As PP said, you have to get through it and feel it to heal, and I'm letting that happen. It just reflects what he means to me.

And I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just lost someone close to me, too. It helps me so much to reminisce with others who loved him and when I do things he loved (like taking a walk around the neighborhood), I think of him and talk to him in my mind. I still love him so much and that will always be a part of me, which is a comfort. As PP said, you have to get through it and feel it to heal, and I'm letting that happen. It just reflects what he means to me.

And I'm so sorry for your loss.

Lovely advice. I was going to suggesting calling on your siblings and cousins, if you have them. They are the ones who understand what a wonder of a grandfather he was. I'm very sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all. it means a lot. I haven't told any of my family how I feel. I just have been talking with friends. I have always been kind of emotionally closed with my family.

[Anonymous]

OP - Are you religious/spiritual? Can I pray with/for you?

God is love; in that love your grandfather safely dwells. You will always miss him. But as time passes, the pain lessons and the memories become so strong.

If you are not a person of faith, then know that I am sending mega-tons of love and healing light your way in this moment. Give yourself permission to grieve. There is no time limit.

[Anonymous]

Op, when I lost the only grandfather I knew in my tween. He had adopted our family. I would pray to my grandfather a lot, he was the star I wished upon...when good things happened to me I remembered feeling he was right there with me and it was so comforting toknow! I think that went on for close to a year, I don't know why I stopped but also one of my prayers to him came true and we moved to the U.S.A. I think of him sometimes and feel so lucky because he stood up for me and was a very caring person.

So sorry for your loss. I hope you feel not so sad soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather passed away in his sleep this past summer. He was sick, but I was shocked when he passed because he wasn't hospitalized. Anyway, this is the first time that I have lost someone close to me. It's so strange that he won't be there at Christmas dinner and that he's not around when I am on the phone with my grandmother. I have been crying a lot lately and have been unable to focus. I have a good friend that allowed me to just hug him and cry, but I honestly don't know what to do. I'm crying most of the time.

Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. Take your own time and do what you feel like. If you want to talk about your Grandpa, do so. If you don't, then don't. If you think you can find closure with a religious rite to remember him by, please go ahead. Otherwise don't. There's no time limit on grief. This, most of all. There's no time limit on grief. Cut off anyone who doesn't respect your way of grieving.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

There's some good advice here, but I'd also consider a support group. Grief comes and goes in waves and holidays and milestones can certainly trigger emotions. If you continue to struggle with long bouts of crying and a lack of concentration, you may want to consider a grief therapist and even medication. I've dealt with several losses, and while there are no set rules or timelines for grieving, I would seek outside help if I felt incapacitated by my grief for extended periods of time. I'm sorry for your loss. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

[Anonymous]

I think you should see a counselor/therapist, OP. I do not think it is normal to deeply grieve a grandparent such that you are crying most of the time six months after a grandparent passes. And I mean this in a nonjudgmental way. I think this could be a sign of a deeper depression that you need help with, not just regular grief.