Taking vacations without the kids

[Anonymous]

Do parents take vacations without the kids? If so, how old do the kids have to be, how long is a reasonable vacation, and who keeps the kids?

DH and I love traveling with DD (she is a total champ while traveling, better than we are), but in some ways traveling with a young child isn't a complete vacation. You have to stay in after bedtime (we ALWAYS get two rooms), you do age-appropriate activities and are on duty as a parent, though in a fun way. We love this but also need a recharging vacation when we can rest and sleep, and one where we can be romantic, and take walks at night, etc. We have a VERY romantic relationship at home, plenty of intimacy and a fair amount of date nights. There is nothing wrong with our marriage (I actually think it gets stronger every day, and I know I love him more every day), but I would love to nourish it with some special time. However, I'm not sure about this. DD is totally great with babysitters and very independent, but this separate vacation is a new idea for us.

DD is five years old, BTW.

[Anonymous]

We have taken a couple of weekends away, but nothing longer than a few days-- partly because that's what seems like a reasonable limit for grandparents to provide care and partly because if I'm taking a week off I want to spend at least some of it with the kid (although I know families where the parents have taken a weeklong trip every year w/o kids, from when the kids were one y.o.-- I think the kids split the time between both sets of grandparents).

Another thing we've done is take trips with extended family-- parents, siblings, etc. When there are more adults (and sometime more kids) around it gives you more flexibility and feels more like a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are 2 and 4. We have gone away for two nights at a time (twice). Once before #2 was born and once this past summer. We are going to start doing two day trips like this once or twice a year (hopefully). We have my mother come and stay and since they are still so little we have a babysitter come for a couple of hours each day to do more active play with them and give my mom a break.

[Anonymous]

DD is 22 months. We are going to the islands in a week for 4 days without her. We went to Europe without her for 5 days when she was a year old. We have also done 2 nights here for a wedding or one night there in another city, starting when she was 6 weeks. All of these times either my parents or DH's have watched her. I think if you have someone you trust and you are okay with it mentally, it is great for your marriage. FWIW I'm SAH so I don't have the issues PP mentionned about spending my vacation time with my kid -- I can understand that.

[Anonymous]

We do a weekend away at least 4xs a year and have been doing this since DS was a year old.


Just before his 2nd birthday we vacationed out of the country (with grandma) and left him with grandma while we went to another part of the country we were visiting for 4 nights. This was a bit scary since we were in a "developing country".

My mom LOVES watching my son and would probably keep him a month if we allowed it. We have no problem doing this and love vacationing alone for at least one decent vacation a year. Our son comes with us the rest of the time.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We go to DH's family in Ohio. The kids have a vacation with their grandparents and DH and I get away for a long weekend somewhere. We started doing this when the youngest was weaned at 19 months three summers ago.

As much as I don't love the midwest, vacationing anywhere with DH and no kids is fine by me!

[Anonymous]

We're going away for three nights this month without DD. She's 13 months old, and the grandparents are coming to stay with her while we're gone.

[Anonymous]

Oh heavens yes! We and most of our friends go on at least one vacation a year without kids. It's essential.

[Anonymous]

We're trying our first no kids trip this April - two nights in Miami for our 10th anniversary...grandparents will be with DCs (5 months and 2.5 years).

[Anonymous]

When my DD was 2.5, DH and I went to Europe for TWO WEEKS! It was amazing, DD stayed with my parents, but it was too long...I was dying at the end.

[Anonymous]

We did a week in Europe when my son was three. He stayed with my mom. I wouldn't have left him with anyone else. If I didn't have someone I trusted that much, and who my kid was truly comfortable with, I wouldn't have gone.

[Anonymous]

If you have a very romantic relationship at home, plenty of intimacy/sex, plenty of date nights, I don't see a huge need for a vacation without your child, but if you do, simply have parents or friends watch her. We prefer to take trips with babysitting or children's activities available on site, simply because we prefer taking our child along. (We've been together many years and now we're focusing on building family memories.) We find we get plenty of time alone in this way. But if you need or want to take a trip alone, just do it. If you're going for more than a night or two I would not use a nanny or sitter, however.

[Anonymous]

We never vacation without our kids. We have no relatives/parents we trust to watch our kids, and don't feel comfortable leaving them with a sitter, even our nanny whom we love.

We get a sitter at the resort/hotel so DH and I can go out to eat a few times. It's not perfect, but it works for us. If we had a trusted relative, we'd feel differently and probably would vacation for at least a long weekend without our kids.

There are family-friendly resorts where your child is assigned to a sitter from the moment you arrive, and there are plenty of kids' activities depending on age. I can't remember the name of the resort (Club Med?), but a friend when to one in Mexico with her two preschoolers and said it was fantastic.

[Anonymous]

we don't have a lot of "couple time" at home since my husband work FT, travels a bit AND has been in school PT for quite a few years. He isn't available much at night or on the weekends So, our vacations away from our daughter are our time to reconnect. And we are incredibly blessed to have grandparents who are more than willing to help us out by staying with her.

We have done 3 trips without her in her 3 years - 2 days at 9 months, 3 days at 15 months and a whole week at 27 months. The week was WONDERFUL and so needed.

Like I said before, we don't a lot of time together anyway. I AM hoping that my husband will be able to start bringing us on his trips from time to time, especially now that my schedule is more flexible and I don't really need to worry about vacation time (I work PT). I feel like his being in school limits us quite a bit, as we can't just take quick weekends away here and there. It will be worth it in the end when he FINALLY graduates, but it really bites for everyone currently.

[Anonymous]

We went away for 3 nights and left the kids with our nanny. Was not cheap. But no worries.