Bitter mom
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Anonymous
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My mom has turned bitter and I don't know what to do.
She says very nasty things and gives no one a break. My grandmother was the same way and my mom hated it and now she's the exact same way. She was always judgmental but never mean. She has a right to be sad/disappointed - my dad's mom lives with them and she's oppressive, one of my sisters is a recovering drug addict and abandoned her children - but her bitterness is so ugly and mean. My mom lives 6 hours away so I don't see her very often but when I do it's sad. Should I just let her continually vent her mean-ness and just listen or do I try and intervene before she becomes a bitter old woman no one wants to be around? |
Anonymous
| Tell her she's becoming butter and ask how you can help. |
Anonymous
| Bitter, not butter. Sorry. |
Anonymous
Mom, I can't help but notice you've become yellow and oily. Are you ill? |
Anonymous
| OP, this may sound odd but you might try going to Al-Anon meetings to get support for your relationship with your mom. Your mom may not be an alcoholic but you do have a sibling who's a recovering addict and Al-Anon can be helpful in dealing with family systems where addiction is involved. |
Anonymous
| My mom is really angry too. I think it was menopause. She went from a very liberal and loving free spirit to a spitting Fox News republican. I kid you not. I have said "you just seem so angry" and she said "there's just so much to be angry about." I am sad and offer my sympathy OP. |
Anonymous
I think they see that there are fewer good days in front of them. This makes them resentful about the disappointments in their life. |
Anonymous
| Dementia? |
Anonymous
That is the other possibility. |
Anonymous
| Maybe your mom is depressed considering what you wrote. Ask her if she's ok. Tell her she's doing a good job at xyz. My mom is now a caretaker to my dad and I swear all she wants to hear is that she's dojng a good job. Her mood changes when I tell her that. |
Anonymous
LOL |
Anonymous
| Everyone always turns into their mother. My mom said I sound just like her and she's horrified. As we age, we get old and crotchety. Not sure there's much that can be done about it. I think there's a form of depression where you just get mean and cranky, but it's from just dealing with life and crazy people. She's probably overworked and extremely tired. The last thing she needs is someone complaining about her mood. You'd be better off offering to do the dishes. |
Anonymous
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Tell her you love her. She might be feeling that the way your sister turned out is her fault. Maybe she just needs to feel loved by at least one of her children. |
Anonymous
| Has your mom had a recent physical? There may be some changes in her health. It also seems like she has a lot on her plate. As a PP said, depression is a factor to consider. |
Anonymous
| Many older people would benefit from anti-depressants. |