what am I missing from 3:30-5:30?

[Anonymous]

Lately I have gotten myself concerned that my youngish elementary kids are missing out on formative experiences because they are in aftercare from 3:30-5:30 instead of off doing something else.

They love their aftercare, and usually spend the time playing games with friends or reading or legos or whatever. And truthfully if I pick them up early they usually just want to go home and watch tv. But I know if I was home regularly after school we would probably have a variety of lessons and outings together and maybe just more downtime for better or worse.

What do you do between school and dinner?

[Anonymous]

Your situation sounds fine for a kid, TBH.

[Anonymous]

Your child is in school, sitting at a desk and learning, all day. Aftercare is great because they can socialize and be active. When i pick my child up at 5:30, we do homework, and he takes a shower while i cook. Then he watches tv/plays until bedtime at 8/8:30. Your child does not need lessons after being in school doing lessons all day.

[Anonymous]

TV and raiding the snack closet. Fights over doing homework. That about it.

[Anonymous]

Your kids are hanging out after school. They're safe, supervised and having fun. They're engaged with their peers in relaxing games. Yet you're questioning whether they're missing out on something. This post represents everything that's wrong with parenting in this area---overanalyzing every activity (or lack thereof) and wringing their hands that it might not be "enough."

This post is just sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TV and raiding the snack closet. Fights over doing homework. That about it.

This. Also, bus ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TV and raiding the snack closet. Fights over doing homework. That about it.

This. Also, bus ride.

Agree. For the last two years, my kids were in aftercare. This year they asked for mommy care. My job is flexible enough that it's possible. But my oldest asked to go back to after care in Dec. she misses her friends and just hanging out.

[Anonymous]

I go back and forth between using aftercare and not, and there are advantages to both. It is nice to have relaxed afternoons, go shopping together, cook and do homework without being crazed. However, there are advantages to more play time and being with friends. I wouldn't worry about it either way.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older. They sometimes participate in after school clubs. When they are home, we talk about how their day went. They have a snack, do their homework, exercise, practice an instrument, work on creative projects of their own choice, and help with dinner.

[Anonymous]

3 kids in ES, MS and HS.

My kids just like to come home, eat a snack and unwind. As much as they like hanging with friends, they just need some chilled out time at home.

On days when there are no clubs at school - HS kid comes and naps. MS and ES kids will hang out and chat, watch TV or shoot hoops.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the day and the weather but many days we just play outside with neighbor kids or just sit and chat. It is not a whole lot different than after care in that regard. The only real benefit is having time to cook with the kids and fit in shopping and appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are hanging out after school. They're safe, supervised and having fun. They're engaged with their peers in relaxing games. Yet you're questioning whether they're missing out on something. This post represents everything that's wrong with parenting in this area---overanalyzing every activity (or lack thereof) and wringing their hands that it might not be "enough."

This post is just sad.

Well I think we might agree on more than you think. One might say that "everything that's wrong with parenting in this area" is that kids are over-scheduled. I was just asking what afternoons are like for kids out there who are less scheduled. "This post" is a real person and I kinda wish you hadn't accused me of representing everything wrong with everything.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everybody!

[Anonymous]

OP-- my DS is over scheduled with extracurriculars. I can tell he's worn out and we're making some cutbacks.

He loves it when he stays at aftercare-- it's fun, he gets his homework done, and gets to be with friends. I'm actually thinking of scheduling him for fewer extras and more aftercare.

Anyway, you described my early elementary years, followed more years by being a latchkey kid. I would say I turned out rather well.

If you're concerned about providing extra activities, does your school have after school clubs and sports?

[Anonymous]

I think the after school hours are very important for emotional connection. Young kids are away at school all day and want to come home and reconnect with a parent (or consistent, responsive caretaker of some kind -- nanny, babysitter, grandparent), de-stress. It's not that they need to be learning or doing anything at these times. They just need the downtime.

Once kids hit middle school I feel they can make it better emotionally until later in the day, although they could still use some reconnecting time, too.