This isn't a big deal right?

[Anonymous]

I feel kinda disappointed/sad because I found out today my inlaws would rather stay with my sister in law and her husband/child than my family over Tgiving wknd. Its totally reasonable as to why. We have three kids under 5 and its just insane around here. As much as a try to keep peace and calm and plan adult activities its probably terribly crazy for them here. My SIL has one daughter who is a bit older (8) and her house is just more calm. They were very polite about it and I am not offended at all just feel slightly disappointed. I try really hard to make our home somewhere our family wants to stay and its just not right now. I also can't help but feel they may think I don't have control of my kids. Any outside insight?

[Anonymous]

I think you are making a big deal out of this. I would not want to say in a house with 3 kids under 5 as well.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with the pp. But my question is, do you think you have control of your kids?

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal. Three kids under five is a LOT of noise.

[Anonymous]

I always feel more comfortable staying with my own family (and I think daughter kind of trumps son in that case). I also get exhausted being around the real little guys.

I don't think it is a slight in any way. If you generally get along with your in-laws, just accept that staying with their daughter was an easier, more relaxed choice.

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you are just a little disappointed. I think that's normal.

I am going to say that you don't sound at all like a typical whack-a-do DCUM poster. So enjoy the holidays!

[Anonymous]

I think you are incredibly lucky. Enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always feel more comfortable staying with my own family (and I think daughter kind of trumps son in that case). I also get exhausted being around the real little guys.

I don't think it is a slight in any way. If you generally get along with your in-laws, just accept that staying with their daughter was an easier, more relaxed choice.

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you are just a little disappointed. I think that's normal.

I am going to say that you don't sound at all like a typical whack-a-do DCUM poster. So enjoy the holidays!

OP here. I agree with this but I do want to clarify that my husband has one brother so my SIL is not my inlaws daughter. However I do think its just an easier more relaxing choice and that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

They probably also think they are doing you a favor- house guests and 1 kid is much easier to deal with than house guests plus 3 kids. Don't borrow trouble!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always feel more comfortable staying with my own family (and I think daughter kind of trumps son in that case). I also get exhausted being around the real little guys.

I don't think it is a slight in any way. If you generally get along with your in-laws, just accept that staying with their daughter was an easier, more relaxed choice.

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you are just a little disappointed. I think that's normal.

I am going to say that you don't sound at all like a typical whack-a-do DCUM poster. So enjoy the holidays!

OP here. I agree with this but I do want to clarify that my husband has one brother so my SIL is not my inlaws daughter. However I do think its just an easier more relaxing choice and that makes sense.

As an “older” woman, I can relate. OP, you will understand when you get older. I don’t mean this as condescending in any way - I totally understand your disappointment. But, as people get older and get in routines, being in a house with 3 little ones can be disruptive to their usually calm, predictable lives. I know. I am there. Be grateful that your inlaws still enjoying traveling away from home. As people age, staying in the comfort of their own homes takes priority for some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably also think they are doing you a favor- house guests and 1 kid is much easier to deal with than house guests plus 3 kids. Don't borrow trouble!

Agree- this would 100% be my MIL thought process too, she would feel it was being nice actually. I promise it's not a big deal and they aren't judging your "control". I'm sure they love you all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably also think they are doing you a favor- house guests and 1 kid is much easier to deal with than house guests plus 3 kids. Don't borrow trouble!

Agree- this would 100% be my MIL thought process too, she would feel it was being nice actually. I promise it's not a big deal and they aren't judging your "control". I'm sure they love you all.

Agree. I think they are being considerate of the OP and themselves.

[Anonymous]

Be Thankful! (that they are not staying at your house)

[Anonymous]

I would die of happiness to not have to host my in-laws.

[Anonymous]

I definitely bet they are trying to make things easier for you!

[Anonymous]

Yes maybe trying to make it easier for you but be thankful you do not have to host them right now