Breech of Confidentiality - 504 plan

[Anonymous]

DD has had a 504 plan with minor accommodations for a year now- seating, extended time on tests, flexible due dates. She never uses them (because she is deathly afraid of being singled out) but they are there in case the work load increases. She goes to an academically rigorous, competitive (top 20 US News) school.

DD said a friend was in a classroom and overheard a teacher and an instructional assistant talking about DDs 504 plan and DD being a "troubled student." (DD has a 89.9 with this teacher.) DD is now horrified that word has/will get around that she's a troubled student and not smart and that no one will want to work with her on projects, homework, study groups etc...

I feel it was irresponsible for the school staff members to be talking about a student when another student was present.

How do we handle this situation with the school?

[Anonymous]

Email the school and teacher and ask for a class change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Email the school and teacher and ask for a class change.

[Anonymous]

You should request a conference with the teacher to discuss your concerns. Why do you think she describes your child as a "troubled student"? Her academic performance is likely not the issue here nor the fact that she has accommodations she is not using. Perhaps the teacher sees that she is struggling socially at this very competitive school. You say she is "deathly afraid" of being singled out. Sounds like she is under a lot of stress and it is apparent to the faculty.

[Anonymous]

To some degree, when you get 504 accommodations, confidentiality cannot be protected. But, this is an instance where the teacher outed your daughter. Do you have a contact at the school for SN issues? I have several - a special education resource teacher, a case manager and a guidance counselor. Unless I knew the teacher, I would probably talk to one of these people because I know them well.

[Anonymous]

You start by getting the other side and assuming positive intentions. Remember, this is something that was reported second hand by another student. If you have had no reason to question this teacher before, the assume that it was a mistake or oversight until you hear otherwise.

"Hi Ms. Jones. Larla shared that a classmate overheard you talking with the assistant. The classmate reported to Larla that you said she was a troubled student. I don't know what was said or what this classmate heard. What I do know is that Larla is extremely sensitive and is now worried that no one will want to work with her. I'd like to get together to talk about how we can move forward from this so that it doesn't happen again and how we can address Larla's stress. I'm available at ...."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To some degree, when you get 504 accommodations, confidentiality cannot be protected. But, this is an instance where the teacher outed your daughter. Do you have a contact at the school for SN issues? I have several - a special education resource teacher, a case manager and a guidance counselor. Unless I knew the teacher, I would probably talk to one of these people because I know them well.

I would assume you can expect that the staff won't be talking about your child with other students around.
It is perfectly OK for a teacher and IA to be discussing, but the OP has an issue that the conversation about her child was not in an appropriate setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You start by getting the other side and assuming positive intentions. Remember, this is something that was reported second hand by another student. If you have had no reason to question this teacher before, the assume that it was a mistake or oversight until you hear otherwise.

"Hi Ms. Jones. Larla shared that a classmate overheard you talking with the assistant. The classmate reported to Larla that you said she was a troubled student. I don't know what was said or what this classmate heard. What I do know is that Larla is extremely sensitive and is now worried that no one will want to work with her. I'd like to get together to talk about how we can move forward from this so that it doesn't happen again and how we can address Larla's stress. I'm available at ...."

+1 Great response.

[Anonymous]

Schools are rarely careful enough. I have no doubt this will continue to happen. I'm sorry, op

[Anonymous]

Your daughter sounds anxious.

[Anonymous]

How do you 'know' this happened? Please do not believe everything your kids say happens at school. Look into it for sure. but you are really jumping the gun.
Also- I worry about the message you are giving your DD. Throughout life we all need accommodations. And teaching here to have shame about it is not helpful. The real issue is with your families perception of DDs abilities, strengths, and self worth.

[Anonymous]

Is she in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds anxious.

how is that helpful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you 'know' this happened? Please do not believe everything your kids say happens at school. Look into it for sure. but you are really jumping the gun.
Also- I worry about the message you are giving your DD. Throughout life we all need accommodations. And teaching here to have shame about it is not helpful. The real issue is with your families perception of DDs abilities, strengths, and self worth.

I don't know for sure what happened but DD mentioned this out of the blue so I believe I can safely assume a conversation between two staff members about my DD 504 plan occurred and was overheard by a classmate. Under no circumstances have we taught her to be shameful about a 504. She is a shy student who does not want to be singled out as different so none of her classmates knew about her 504....until now.

DD has slow processing speed and mild ADHD - Inattentiveness thus her accommodations. While the accommodations aren't necessary because of the mildness of the diagnosis, since she did quality per a neuropsych evaluation, we thought best to have a 504 plan considering the workload at her school (public through 12th grade) to be used if/when necessary.

I want to thank the person who suggested the wording for the email. DH and I are discussing how to address this an apparent breach of professionalism.

~OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you 'know' this happened? Please do not believe everything your kids say happens at school. Look into it for sure. but you are really jumping the gun.
Also- I worry about the message you are giving your DD. Throughout life we all need accommodations. And teaching here to have shame about it is not helpful. The real issue is with your families perception of DDs abilities, strengths, and self worth.

This is bull!! This happened b/c her daughter told her. When do we stop listening to our children and just listen to teachers? She does not have shame, she was hurt to hear the word "troubled." That is a very negative word. Teachers need to be more cautious period.