my kindergartner kissed two boys today

[Anonymous]

Yikes! She comes home today and tells me that she kissed two boys "by accident." From what I can tell (remember I am relying on a 5 y.o. version of events/storytelling ability), it sounds like a couple of older kids nudged her into the first boy and then the second. But the kisses were on the lips, so it was not really an accident. She told the story in a sort of excited/embarrassed way, so it all seems, I guess, very age appropriate. But I was not expecting this just yet! Should I be worried about anything here? The older kids? Her willingness/interest in kissing? I don't want to overreact, so can someone with older kids please tell me that this is just normal behavior all the way around? ....please?

[Anonymous]

One of the favorite playground games for many girls in my own kindergarten class was playing "kissing girls," who ran around trying to kiss boys during recess. (It seemed like the majority of the girls, but not sure if my memory is accurate about the total numbers.) So that leads me to believe that an interest in kissing is developmentally typical for 5-year-old girls.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I was in kindergarten the favorite past time of the boys at recess was chasing us girls around trying to kiss us. We'd pretend we didn't want to be kissed, I think because we thought we weren't supposed to want to be kissed, so we would run away. So maybe her "accidentally" is because she thought she wasn't supposed to do it. I think as a parent these days it seems odd to us or too early. But I do remember it seeming very normal when I was a kid. "The boys tried to kiss us," and it was kind of funny, not something to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Well when I was a kid we played 'hide and go get it' seriously. We would gather in the alley, girls would find the boys, boys find the girls. Once found, a lot of heavy petting. I was about 5 or so at this time. God I hate to think of what my kids are playing out of eyesight

[Anonymous]

The kissing is normal. There was a little boy in my daughter's class that loved to kiss her. The school did a good job of curbing it. My daughter kissed another little boy. We instituted the "kissing is for family" rule. That worked well. The thing that concerns me about your post is the older kids exhorting her to the kissing. I would contact the school administration about that. Older kids should not be egging younger kids on to do anything remotely inappropriate. This kind of behavior starts with something relatively harmless and can escalate -- ask yourself if you would be OK with older kids cajoling a kindergarten boy to flip your daughter's skirt up, steal something small, write marker on the wall, etc. All small things if done spontaneously, but an older set of kids pressuring younger ones into inappropriate or bad behavior -- best to nip that in the bud now.

[Anonymous]

totally normal and age-appropriate. my 5 year old son loves to be chased by a little girl in his class at school who tries to kiss him. he is thrilled that he is faster and always manages to elude her. he loves the attention. the teachers instituted a no-kissing at school rule. i guess they want to nip all this in the bud.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's normal (I remember liking boys and some kissing around that age) - BUT also with the pp who brought up the only disturbing bit here - that older kids were pushing her to do it. Talk with the teacher about supervision on the playground and also talk to your daughter that is her body. Give her a script or 2 that she can easily use in these situations. I have a naturally independent and an "I do NOT like that" kind of dd - she's 5 as well and if her hair is petted too much or she gets just too much physical contact - she says that it's her body and to stop touching it. Just reinforce that behavior and tell her that she's a big girl for telling you.

[Anonymous]

it's normal but tell her about the germs.

you don't want your beautiful girl getting herpes from another child because of a childhood game.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for your replies. I agree that the older kids' involvement is cause for a little concern, and worth a call to the school, so thanks to the PPs who mentioned that. Thanks also to everyone who pointed out that experimentation at this age is normal.

It feels like a delicate balance here... I want her to feel comfortable to explore a little and of course love that she is willing to volunteer the information to me. I don't want her to feel ashamed in any way of what she did, but also want to protect her from being used by older kids in what they probably view as an innocent game.

Ugh. I know this is not life or death, but this is my little baby! I don't want her to be ready for kissing!

[zumbamama]

I kissed a boy when I was 5. My parents took a picture! I was a little flirt back in the day!