Online dating. Men sending pics of their kids

[Anonymous]

It creeps me out. Is it just me? Just seems weird that I see strangers' kids before even meeting in person. Three guys have done this already. Sent selfies with their little ones. It's interesting that right after that they sent pics of their torso :/ are there women who fall for this? I instantly stop communication because to me it's a red flag. I would be upset if my ex posted pics of our child online or sent them to unknown women...

This one guy - a really hot cop - seemed normal in the beginning but then literally bombarded me with his selfies of his half naked body and pics of his young son. What a creep.

I have noticed many men online think single moms are desperate. Deleting my profile

[Anonymous]

Single Mom or not, any guy who sends lots of selfies prior to meeting is a red flag. Or those that ask you to send them some. It has happened to me and I'm not a single mom. I instantly stop contact.

[Anonymous]

I can't stand it either. I feel like they are trying to show off by posting photos with their kids. I'm a single mom and would be pissed if my ex did that. I also can't stand when men talk to their kids on the phone when they are on a date with you. I guess they are trying to prove what great dads they are but it seems like they are trying too hard. A few months ago, I sat for 10-15 mins while my first date chatted with his kid on the phone.

[Anonymous]

so you're meeting them online...what's the banter like? think (or reread) carefully about what messages (literally) you're sending them - b/c one is just weird, but three, that suggests that you're inviting this.

also, think about how you're screening (criteria, filters, especially), what in your profile is giving the impressions to creeps that you're open to this.

- former single dad who endured online dating and is in a great LTR with a single mom.

[Anonymous]

Are you going on online dating websites that are free + do not cost anything to register? I have a BFF who is using a few of these and she is meeting a lot of creepy guys on these websites.

I have suggested to her that she go on a reputable and paid membership one such as Match.com or Christianmingle.come.

I think personally that people who are willing to invest money into their love search are more serious-minded about meeting someone vs. the ones who visit the free dating websites.

Just some food for thought OP.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I am not sure if this is necessarily a deal-breaker. A man who hides his kids would be a dealbreaker, not the opposite! He is being a real man and proudly owning his responsibilities. I can't explain for the guys who send creepy explicit requests, but you women should know you are not all perfect either.

I am on OKC now some 3 months (as vheeghee if interested), and I am equally annoyed at how many women post pics with the following:

1. You and your pets all over each other suggesting that any new guy will not stand a chance.
2. You with all of your girlfriends in one picture (and sometimes your girlfriends look much better)
3. You on all your vacations/hobbies and never anything about your normal weekly life.

and last but not least,

4. You in a very dated photo where you were in shape and fit........but the last photo always tells the true story

For these reasons I pretty much rewrote my whole profile, and made it specific the kind of friendship I am hoping to establish. Since then all the 'likes' reduced significantly, or if I got likes, the woman stops talking after reading my profile. So this confirms my view that most women on OKC are lonely, desperate, and superficial.

So if OP is annoyed by men just sending pics of their kids (which is a very grown man thing to do), then we as men are equally turned off by all those things in your pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you going on online dating websites that are free + do not cost anything to register? I have a BFF who is using a few of these and she is meeting a lot of creepy guys on these websites.

I have suggested to her that she go on a reputable and paid membership one such as Match.com or Christianmingle.come.

I think personally that people who are willing to invest money into their love search are more serious-minded about meeting someone vs. the ones who visit the free dating websites.

Just some food for thought OP.

Not necessarily, I almost got scammed on Christian Cafe. I was a paid member on eHarmony for a year and never a single conversation or date. Then I joined OKC and have established contact with a few legit people. So, grass is not always greener on the way from the bank .

[Anonymous]

Op here. I am on Match. My profile is pretty honest. Recent pictures only. I am very attractive and fit - maybe a picture of me in a bikini invites these creeps? Most likely. Will delete it. I don't have pics of my child on there and will never send them to a total stranger. When a man sends pics of his kids to me after a few messages, it shows he doesn't give a damn about them. It's my opinion. If you are a great dad, keep your kids away from your dating life unless it gets really serious, period. I responded to these guys because they had nicely written profiles and decent pics. I was more inclined to corresponding with single dads as they know what it is like to be a parent. Some are ok but unfortunately the two I met in person were really out of shape. So they had old pics online... What a joke. I guess I haven't been lucky and should be open to dating non dads.


By the way, I wouldn't upload a pics of girlfriends who look better than me that's not smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going on online dating websites that are free + do not cost anything to register? I have a BFF who is using a few of these and she is meeting a lot of creepy guys on these websites.

I have suggested to her that she go on a reputable and paid membership one such as Match.com or Christianmingle.come.

I think personally that people who are willing to invest money into their love search are more serious-minded about meeting someone vs. the ones who visit the free dating websites.

Just some food for thought OP.

Not necessarily, I almost got scammed on Christian Cafe. I was a paid member on eHarmony for a year and never a single conversation or date. Then I joined OKC and have established contact with a few legit people. So, grass is not always greener on the way from the bank .

Agree with this. I'm a professional in my mid-30s and tried Match for 4 months with little/no luck. Only wound up going out with one guy - we did go out on 5 dates, and he was a good guy, but ultimately it wasn't going anywhere. Less than a week on OKCupid and I am already corresponding with a few guys who have thus far been nice, polite and well-spoken. I received creepy/sexual messages on both sites, but the margin isn't any larger than it should be when taking into account the greater total number of messages I've been getting on OKCupid.

[Anonymous]

Of course men will send you half naked pics if you contacted them in the first place because you thought they were really hot. You're not being fair to them by writing them off as creepy, they're just giving you more of what you've indicated that you wanted.

Your behavior of objectifying men based on their looks & profession is creepy, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course men will send you half naked pics if you contacted them in the first place because you thought they were really hot. You're not being fair to them by writing them off as creepy, they're just giving you more of what you've indicated that you wanted.

Your behavior of objectifying men based on their looks & profession is creepy, too.

As the PP at 10:44 and 10:47, I have to accept that this is what online dating is all about. Hence why I think most women on these sites are superficial. One girl flatly admitted that she is "...vain..." and I am "...not really [her] type..." when I just sent a complimentary mail inviting conversation. Go figure why she is perpetually single and perhaps lonely.

To be honest, this trait is very telling for me, so my approach is to say I am looking for friendship first, simply because it is genuine friendship which makes any romantic relationship last (but superficial women will never get this, they think you are a player ), but I know better

Regarding your views OP, I think you could lay off labeling men and stereotyping their motives behind showing pics of their children. It is no different from parents posting photos of their children on other online social media. There are so many different people from much different backgrounds that may or may not fit with your narrow perception. Your choice if you want something so subjective be a dealbreaker.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course men will send you half naked pics if you contacted them in the first place because you thought they were really hot. You're not being fair to them by writing them off as creepy, they're just giving you more of what you've indicated that you wanted.

Your behavior of objectifying men based on their looks & profession is creepy, too.

Fyi, I don't contact first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. I am not sure if this is necessarily a deal-breaker. A man who hides his kids would be a dealbreaker, not the opposite! He is being a real man and proudly owning his responsibilities. I can't explain for the guys who send creepy explicit requests, but you women should know you are not all perfect either.

I am on OKC now some 3 months (as vheeghee if interested), and I am equally annoyed at how many women post pics with the following:

1. You and your pets all over each other suggesting that any new guy will not stand a chance.
2. You with all of your girlfriends in one picture (and sometimes your girlfriends look much better)
3. You on all your vacations/hobbies and never anything about your normal weekly life.

and last but not least,

4. You in a very dated photo where you were in shape and fit........but the last photo always tells the true story

For these reasons I pretty much rewrote my whole profile, and made it specific the kind of friendship I am hoping to establish. Since then all the 'likes' reduced significantly, or if I got likes, the woman stops talking after reading my profile. So this confirms my view that most women on OKC are lonely, desperate, and superficial.

So if OP is annoyed by men just sending pics of their kids (which is a very grown man thing to do), then we as men are equally turned off by all those things in your pictures.

I agree with most of what you say, but can you please clarify with number 3? Don't most people take majority of pics on vacation or with a hobby? I mean, do you want women to post pics of themselves in their car commuting to work? Or brushing their teeth in the morning? Or folding laundry?

[Anonymous]

Ick. My ex husband does this (i.e. posting or sharing pics of his kids very early in a relationship). He uses his kids to establish himself as a dad and therfore legit. The truth his he lies about a lot of his past, but he is good at it so women don't find out until it is too late. Using the kids is part of the magic show strategy -- let me get you to look at these shiny objects, so you don't notice what's really going on in this other corner.

[Anonymous]

My ex had pics of our young DD as well on his profile. He didn't even want any custody of her and sees her only a couple times a month. But, she is a cutie and makes women think he is a family man, NOT.