Lessons learned so far: 2024-2025

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What AO look for is not what you might think.

This was a particularly good post from a few months ago by a student who saw their AO notes at Duke:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/1gvg27r/a_look_into_my_duke_admissions_file_or_why_your/

wish there was one from a fgli American student instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What AO look for is not what you might think.

This was a particularly good post from a few months ago by a student who saw their AO notes at Duke:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/1gvg27r/a_look_into_my_duke_admissions_file_or_why_your/

wish there was one from a fgli American student instead

Why?
It’s probably not even that detailed bc that hook moves the needle more than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that this process is over, would you change your advice here at all????

Yes. Would probably try and get kid to focus more on RD apps in that time in November and December (after ED1 apps are in). They are exhausted, but you probably have more clarity then.

Also, it might be controversial to say, but I probably should have just done more to help proactively. Have learned how many parents (mostly moms) just did EVERYTHING (including the writing) for the kids starting the summer before.

[Anonymous]

Our second kid is graduating next month. Our experience with both kids has taught us that everything is a lot easier when the kids are relatively average (way below average for DCUM) and they target schools with a 70%-90% admission rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Dartmouth AO podcast from this week with the Brown AO is super interesting.

Note - my kid applied to neither school, but helpful to understand their mindset.

They address why so many international students or immigrant parents might be frustrated because there is no equation to get in.
Worth the listen.

Especially the end "merit [and they mean what they value your application for] lives in places you don't always expect"..... think it's what everyone here has been saying for a while - it's not the fancy stuff that gets you in. It's the kid who writes a letter to an elder every day for all 4 years of HS (and his teachers know about it it's the kid theater kid who was bullied in middle school, who started a costume club for younger kids; its the kid who goes to a private school but is a car mechanic after school.

So many great stories.

I love this.
It explains why my kid got handwritten AO notes from T20 and T10SLACs discussing how they envision my kid using their kindness to be an active member of the community.

Agree that this what they are looking for.

Lots of kids have service and kindness in their apps. There are just too many applicants so have a range of schools that you would be happy with.

[Anonymous]

This is a good thread with lessons for the newbies.

[Anonymous]

If your goal is T20 schools expect the process to be stressful, all 4 years. If T20 are not the goal, there is not much stress and it is a lot less effort both during admissions process and all 4 years of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your goal is T20 schools expect the process to be stressful, all 4 years. If T20 are not the goal, there is not much stress and it is a lot less effort both during admissions process and all 4 years of high school.

Nope. Not stressful for us at all.
Kids were interesting and passionate about their own things, though. We required our HS students to join and participate (actively) in 2 clubs in HS (starting freshman year - didn't care what it was) and their sport (at least 1). Kids did that.

Starting winter of junior year, started pulling together connections between all activities. A little forethought into 1-2 week summer programs prior but nothing "major". Kids did what they loved. Their "application narrative" was natural and not forced based entirely on what they did (you can do that too).

The older kid is at Ivy in RD (after a T10 deferral and rejection).
Younger kid (current senior) - committed to that T10 (accepted in RD) after a T20 deferral and later RD acceptance.
Private feeder HS likely helped.

Colleges can tell when a kid has an overly planned (and stressful) HS life. And when they aren't doing what they "love".
Neither kid had any of these things that are talked about here:
(1) university-level research (though both had their independent homegrown (small but interesting) projects),
(2) pay-to-play summer programs in their applications,
(3) patents or
(4) founded non-profits (though both volunteered for 4+ years at tiny pre-existing (different) nonprofits with local concentrated reach).

Kid 1 had several real jobs and was often the employee of the month.
Kid 2 had long-term national-level individual achievement in sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your goal is T20 schools expect the process to be stressful, all 4 years. If T20 are not the goal, there is not much stress and it is a lot less effort both during admissions process and all 4 years of high school.

Nope. Not stressful for us at all.
Kids were interesting and passionate about their own things, though. We required our HS students to join and participate (actively) in 2 clubs in HS (starting freshman year - didn't care what it was) and their sport (at least 1). Kids did that.

Starting winter of junior year, started pulling together connections between all activities. A little forethought into 1-2 week summer programs prior but nothing "major". Kids did what they loved. Their "application narrative" was natural and not forced based entirely on what they did (you can do that too).

The older kid is at Ivy in RD (after a T10 deferral and rejection).
Younger kid (current senior) - committed to that T10 (accepted in RD) after a T20 deferral and later RD acceptance.
Private feeder HS likely helped.

Colleges can tell when a kid has an overly planned (and stressful) HS life. And when they aren't doing what they "love".
Neither kid had any of these things that are talked about here:
(1) university-level research (though both had their independent homegrown (small but interesting) projects),
(2) pay-to-play summer programs in their applications,
(3) patents or
(4) founded non-profits (though both volunteered for 4+ years at tiny pre-existing (different) nonprofits with local concentrated reach).

Kid 1 had several real jobs and was often the employee of the month.
Kid 2 had long-term national-level individual achievement in sports.

That is a lot of money and effort that went into this! LOL

[Anonymous]

Though it caused me some stress, glad we let our kid apply ED to the target he loved instead of rolling the dice with reaches he wasn't as enthusiastic about. Kid was admitted mid-December and has had a fabulous senior year. We all loved the admitted students day. It was a great choice for this kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your goal is T20 schools expect the process to be stressful, all 4 years. If T20 are not the goal, there is not much stress and it is a lot less effort both during admissions process and all 4 years of high school.

Nope. Not stressful for us at all.
Kids were interesting and passionate about their own things, though. We required our HS students to join and participate (actively) in 2 clubs in HS (starting freshman year - didn't care what it was) and their sport (at least 1). Kids did that.

Starting winter of junior year, started pulling together connections between all activities. A little forethought into 1-2 week summer programs prior but nothing "major". Kids did what they loved. Their "application narrative" was natural and not forced based entirely on what they did (you can do that too).

The older kid is at Ivy in RD (after a T10 deferral and rejection).
Younger kid (current senior) - committed to that T10 (accepted in RD) after a T20 deferral and later RD acceptance.
Private feeder HS likely helped.

Colleges can tell when a kid has an overly planned (and stressful) HS life. And when they aren't doing what they "love".
Neither kid had any of these things that are talked about here:
(1) university-level research (though both had their independent homegrown (small but interesting) projects),
(2) pay-to-play summer programs in their applications,
(3) patents or
(4) founded non-profits (though both volunteered for 4+ years at tiny pre-existing (different) nonprofits with local concentrated reach).

Kid 1 had several real jobs and was often the employee of the month.
Kid 2 had long-term national-level individual achievement in sports.

That is a lot of money and effort that went into this! LOL

Where's the money? Yes, I see a lot of kid effort.

[Anonymous]

Realize some parents pretend to have no real help and, in reality, have multiple counselors helping their kids with the application process.

Ex. I'm on AN, and there's a prolific mom/participant, with multiple HYPSM kids (including the most recent senior). Then you see the mom's name pop up in an email from a 3rd party national college counseling firm, for a presentation about passion projects or something. So, you realize this mom has been actively using a pricey multi-year national firm for these kids to precisely plan out everything, in addition to Sara H's AN (and its add-ons).

It's mind-blowing how much time, energy, and $$$ some parents throw at the selective college admissions process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your goal is T20 schools expect the process to be stressful, all 4 years. If T20 are not the goal, there is not much stress and it is a lot less effort both during admissions process and all 4 years of high school.

Nope. Not stressful for us at all.
Kids were interesting and passionate about their own things, though. We required our HS students to join and participate (actively) in 2 clubs in HS (starting freshman year - didn't care what it was) and their sport (at least 1). Kids did that.

Starting winter of junior year, started pulling together connections between all activities. A little forethought into 1-2 week summer programs prior but nothing "major". Kids did what they loved. Their "application narrative" was natural and not forced based entirely on what they did (you can do that too).

The older kid is at Ivy in RD (after a T10 deferral and rejection).
Younger kid (current senior) - committed to that T10 (accepted in RD) after a T20 deferral and later RD acceptance.
Private feeder HS likely helped.

Colleges can tell when a kid has an overly planned (and stressful) HS life. And when they aren't doing what they "love".
Neither kid had any of these things that are talked about here:
(1) university-level research (though both had their independent homegrown (small but interesting) projects),
(2) pay-to-play summer programs in their applications,
(3) patents or
(4) founded non-profits (though both volunteered for 4+ years at tiny pre-existing (different) nonprofits with local concentrated reach).

Kid 1 had several real jobs and was often the employee of the month.
Kid 2 had long-term national-level individual achievement in sports.

That is a lot of money and effort that went into this! LOL

Where's the money? Yes, I see a lot of kid effort.

Private feeder HS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Realize some parents pretend to have no real help and, in reality, have multiple counselors helping their kids with the application process.

Ex. I'm on AN, and there's a prolific mom/participant, with multiple HYPSM kids (including the most recent senior). Then you see the mom's name pop up in an email from a 3rd party national college counseling firm, for a presentation about passion projects or something. So, you realize this mom has been actively using a pricey multi-year national firm for these kids to precisely plan out everything, in addition to Sara H's AN (and its add-ons).

It's mind-blowing how much time, energy, and $$$ some parents throw at the selective college admissions process.

You were on both AN and 3rd party national college counseling firm as well! So what is the difference?

[Anonymous]

Where your kid goes to college isn't as important to their long-term character, happiness and life goals as being in a healthy environment from K-8 or K-12.

If you provide that, you win! No need to chase college as some kind of affirmation badge. Studies show where you went to school (intellectual and socio-emotional growth and peer influence) between K-8 and K-12 matter much more to the foundation of the person your kid will become.

College is just a short 4 year pit stop. The 9-14 years between K-8 or K-12 are much more important in terms of quality of school and peer group.

I have 4 kids aged between 16 - 2. And lots of close friends with kids between 14 - 35. My mother and sister in law are both child psychologists too.