did you send your aspie kid away to college?

[Anonymous]

Our DC is mildly on the spectrum and generally comes off as more clueless, uncool and naive than clearly AS. He's kind and trusting and incredibly social but has very few friends, and certainly none that regularly contact him for anything.
He's an average student but is extraordinarily gifted in and loves music. There's a good chance he could get into a top-notch music program, and although this is still a couple of years away, DH and I are worried about letting him go away to college. We're afraid he might get very lonely and/or get taken advantage of. OTOH (according to a couple of teachers who've dealt with him) there is no program available locally that would do justice to his musical ability.
Wondering how other parents of Aspie kids have dealt with the decision to send their child away, or not.

[Anonymous]

Is "aspie" a normal term? I don't have a child or know anyone on the spectrum but the term kind of sounds insulting (obviously you don't mean that given that your child is on the spectrum).

I dunno - i guess if i had no background in it (which i don't), the term kind of sounds disparaging.

[Anonymous]

I went to a university with a renowned music school. Students in the program were all pretty much "special" -
I think that goes with amazing musical talent.

They were also very tight. Music students spend all their time in class and practice rooms. They hang together.

Your DC would probably feel like he wound up on the cast of
Big Bang Theory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is "aspie" a normal term? I don't have a child or know anyone on the spectrum but the term kind of sounds insulting (obviously you don't mean that given that your child is on the spectrum).

I dunno - i guess if i had no background in it (which i don't), the term kind of sounds disparaging.

"Aspie" is short for "Asperger's" and no it's not a disparaging term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is "aspie" a normal term? I don't have a child or know anyone on the spectrum but the term kind of sounds insulting (obviously you don't mean that given that your child is on the spectrum).

I dunno - i guess if i had no background in it (which i don't), the term kind of sounds disparaging.

"Aspie" is short for "Asperger's" and no it's not a disparaging term.

We're going off on a tangent here but I have a DS with AS and can't stand the term Aspie. I think its a cutesie name the diminishes the disability. I may be overly sensitive because I'm just tired of the way everyone treats ASDs like they are a source of shame and I feel like cutesifying the word contributes to that. But it is not an insult and many parents of kids with AS use the term. I don't know that I've heard any people with AS use the term themselves but my DS is still a teen. I don't mean to come down on OP, who is asking a question I ask myself daily.

As they say show me a kid with autism and I'll show you a kid with autism. They're all different. So I think you need to assess the situation for your child. How independent is he? Can he handle difficult emotions? How does he handle academic stress? If you have concerns, I would start him in this area (assuming you are in DC). Catholic University has an excellent music program. If you think he can handle going away, look at small schools with excellent music programs -- Lawrence College ("Little Lawrence" NOT Sarah Lawrence though Sarah Lawrence also has an excellent music program), Earlham. I'm sure there are others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is "aspie" a normal term? I don't have a child or know anyone on the spectrum but the term kind of sounds insulting (obviously you don't mean that given that your child is on the spectrum).

I dunno - i guess if i had no background in it (which i don't), the term kind of sounds disparaging.

"Aspie" is short for "Asperger's" and no it's not a disparaging term.

It isn't disparaging, but many in the community feel it trivializes and infantizes the syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Not disparaging. Says dad of aspie in college right now having made multiple calls and texts to see if he's out of bed. Emotionally they can run many years behind their cohorts. Don't just unless you've lived through it. It gets worse the older they get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DC is mildly on the spectrum and generally comes off as more clueless, uncool and naive than clearly AS. He's kind and trusting and incredibly social but has very few friends, and certainly none that regularly contact him for anything.
He's an average student but is extraordinarily gifted in and loves music. There's a good chance he could get into a top-notch music program, and although this is still a couple of years away, DH and I are worried about letting him go away to college. We're afraid he might get very lonely and/or get taken advantage of. OTOH (according to a couple of teachers who've dealt with him) there is no program available locally that would do justice to his musical ability.
Wondering how other parents of Aspie kids have dealt with the decision to send their child away, or not.

We will be sending our mild end of AS child to college next year. Each child is different. Ours is a science and math kid. Plays an instrument, but I wouldn't call him musical. He wants to be an engineer. I think he has a good chance for success, but only time will tell. We have been slowly reducing our supports over HS.

For music majors, I know many mild AS students who succeeded at Oberlin.

[Anonymous]

RPI has engineering and music. I know a few Aspies doing well there.