Breaking up over a job/lifestyle

[Anonymous]

Has anyone here had the experience of meeting someone that you are very compatible with on every level, BUT their job and your lifestyle make having a future together seem impossible?

How did you handle it? Did you find ways to make life work because this person was worth the trouble? Did you leave?

[Anonymous]

You either break up or find ways to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You either break up or find ways to make it work.

Should have been more clear, looking for personal experience & stories.

[Anonymous]

What makes your future seem impossible? Are they a starving artist? Foreign service always out of the country? Tightrope walker when you have a deathly fear of heights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes your future seem impossible? Are they a starving artist? Foreign service always out of the country? Tightrope walker when you have a deathly fear of heights?

Similar to Foreign Service

Fewer trips, longer down time. I may or may not be able to go, though due to commitments here.

[Anonymous]

Haven't you posted about this already and received advice already?

[Anonymous]

My ex bf before meeting DH was in the finance world and often worked crazy hours. It was ok in our early 20s because all our friends still were free to go out during the week, etc. But as we got more serious I realized I didn't want the workaholic husband and the dad who wasn't around much. The potential to earn the big bucks (which he was on track for) just wasn't worth it to me. We broke up.
Met DH who works almost a 9-5 job and still makes a pretty great salary.

I'm still friends with my ex (we were friends for 10 years before dating) and he also realized that lifestyle wasn't sustainable for him. He's now more into the business world and still works longish hours, but nowhere like what he was doing before! His soon to be wife is a nurse so it kind of works out well because she schedules her shifts to optimize on the time they have together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes your future seem impossible? Are they a starving artist? Foreign service always out of the country? Tightrope walker when you have a deathly fear of heights?

Similar to Foreign Service

Fewer trips, longer down time. I may or may not be able to go, though due to commitments here.

So your significant other travels a lot for work?

Plenty of people make relationships work in this situation. It's not as though they are being posted to Antarctica for two years while you are here, so not sure why you'd have to go with them.

[Anonymous]

Broke up with my ex when he decided to go career military. I could have handled the 4 years I thought he was signing up for, but I didn't want to marry and raise a family amidst the uncertainty of the military life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone here had the experience of meeting someone that you are very compatible with on every level, BUT their job and your lifestyle make having a future together seem impossible?

How did you handle it? Did you find ways to make life work because this person was worth the trouble? Did you leave?

If you are talking about a stripper, hooker, escort - its never gonna work!

[Anonymous]

My DH is a partner and a high-powered law firm in NY. He was on the partnership track when we started dating. At first it didn't matter much because I was a student and worked FT but the 90-100 hour work weeks were killing our relationship. We had no time together and it took a toll. We broke up after 2 years. Fast forward another 1.5 years and I had just started my career. DH and I ran into each other at a party. He had taken a hard look at his life and realized he wanted a family more than his partnership. Even though he made partner, he moved to another firm that focuses on family life. We rekindled our relationship and married a year later. Breaking up was the hardest decision I had to make and never stopped loving him. I am blessed we had another chance because I can't imagine life without him, ever again. If I could go back, I would of stuck it out. That part away was torture for the both of us. You make it work if that person is important to you. We have been married 7 years and couldn't be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is a partner and a high-powered law firm in NY. He was on the partnership track when we started dating. At first it didn't matter much because I was a student and worked FT but the 90-100 hour work weeks were killing our relationship. We had no time together and it took a toll. We broke up after 2 years. Fast forward another 1.5 years and I had just started my career. DH and I ran into each other at a party. He had taken a hard look at his life and realized he wanted a family more than his partnership. Even though he made partner, he moved to another firm that focuses on family life. We rekindled our relationship and married a year later. Breaking up was the hardest decision I had to make and never stopped loving him. I am blessed we had another chance because I can't imagine life without him, ever again. If I could go back, I would of stuck it out. That part away was torture for the both of us. You make it work if that person is important to you. We have been married 7 years and couldn't be happier.

This is one of the nicest stories I have read on here in a while.

[Anonymous]

Agreed, but

If I could go back, I would of stuck it out.

It had a happy ending. And if you changed one part, it might not have turned out the same.

[Anonymous]

Young couple, woman will be doing a medical residency and could be matched anywhere. Boyfriend is a firefighter and is required to live w/in 30miles of the station.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed, but

If I could go back, I would of stuck it out.

It had a happy ending. And if you changed one part, it might not have turned out the same.

Agreed. If he had you while he was working superlong hours, and not realize how bad it was to not have you around in his life, he could've stayed at that firm.