Pay teen to stay with younger sibling?

[Anonymous]

Our thirteen-YO will be in charge of our 9-YO for two afternoons coming up (MCPS early release). It never crossed my mind to pay him since it just seems like a normal family task, but I mentioned it to a friend who says she does pay her teen to babysit siblings. Curious what others do, and if you pay, how much? The same as one would pay a babysitter? TIA.

[Anonymous]

My parents never paid me for that.

I wouldn't consider it unless your child brings it up, and even then I'd have a conversation about family expectations.

[Anonymous]

I got paid to babysit my younger siblings when I had to turn down paid babysitting jobs in order to watch my sister. Otherwise, I wasn't paid. seemed like a good compromise that made me not resent watching her!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't pay for that, because it's just two siblings staying home together with the older one obviously taking on a position of more responsibility.

The only sibling babysitting I would consider paying for is where it either impacts the older sibling's ability to take on a paying job or other significant responsibility, or if it is babysitting that came up unexpectedly in a major crisis and caused the older sibling to have to cancel existing plans with no alternative.

[Anonymous]

Both kids are old enough to be on their own. I wouldn't put one of mine in charge of the other, but that's the dynamics of my family. Each kid is in charge of himself when they are home alone and each is accountable to me for their own behavior and to tell me if a problem is occurring at the house, which could mean tattling on the other.

I have paid my oldest to take care of my youngest, but usually he does it for free. The reason is that so often he does things that waste my time or cost me money (just typical life things, nothing major, except when he lost a $500 retainer, but preventable). As I've told him, he owes me that time and can work it off through babysitting. On occasion I've offered to pay and he's declined because he wants to do something nice for me and that's something that's easy for him to do and makes me happy.

[Anonymous]

When the kids want something that would take forever for them to buy by just saving their allowance, we let them do extra things/chores to get extra points which they can cash in on when they want. Babysitting her younger sister is the most common way for 13 year old dd to get extra points.

[Anonymous]

As the younger sibling, I absolutely hated when my parents did that. My sister, who was 3 years older, got an official permission to boss me around while being paid for it. I was a very mature kid who didn't need much supervision. I hated that she got such a massive advantage (both financial and emotional) simply because she was born earlier, as that was completely out of our control and those roles would never be reversed. I wish that my parents would have either hired a babysitter for the both of us or just let us hang out together without encouraging her to feel superior. That type of dynamic still exists to this day, and I wish it hadn't been encouraged when we were younger.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it keeps resentment from growing towards the younger sibling and towards you. It also teaches her money management and the value of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both kids are old enough to be on their own. I wouldn't put one of mine in charge of the other, but that's the dynamics of my family. Each kid is in charge of himself when they are home alone and each is accountable to me for their own behavior and to tell me if a problem is occurring at the house, which could mean tattling on the other.

I have paid my oldest to take care of my youngest, but usually he does it for free. The reason is that so often he does things that waste my time or cost me money (just typical life things, nothing major, except when he lost a $500 retainer, but preventable). As I've told him, he owes me that time and can work it off through babysitting. On occasion I've offered to pay and he's declined because he wants to do something nice for me and that's something that's easy for him to do and makes me happy.

Unfortunately, at 9, it looks like Montgomery County guidelines might not allow the youngest child to be home alone for the entire duration of an early release day. The guidelines for 8-12 state "short periods, such as before and after school, but not for an entire day." This could go either way. Technically they were at school that day, so this does qualify as "after school". However, it is a longer period of time than a typical school day and might thus be considered closer to an entire day and therefore too long. I could well be misinterpreting the guidelines, but it appears at least possible that the older child DOES need to officially be "in charge" as the babysitter. I still wouldn't pay in this scenario though.

[Anonymous]

I paid each child to watch themselves. And no, I did not pay them the standard babysitting rate. I have a 7 yr old and 10 yr old. When I leave either or both home less than a half hour they don't get paid. An hour or more, and they do. The 7 yr old gets $1 an hour, the 10 yr old gets $2 an hour. They're both thrilled.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it for kids with such a small age difference. As PPs said, it's just a recipe for resentment. If the younger one was under 8, it would be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, at 9, it looks like Montgomery County guidelines might not allow the youngest child to be home alone for the entire duration of an early release day. The guidelines for 8-12 state "short periods, such as before and after school, but not for an entire day." This could go either way. Technically they were at school that day, so this does qualify as "after school". However, it is a longer period of time than a typical school day and might thus be considered closer to an entire day and therefore too long. I could well be misinterpreting the guidelines, but it appears at least possible that the older child DOES need to officially be "in charge" as the babysitter. I still wouldn't pay in this scenario though.

They weren't just technically at school. They actually were at school.

Also, I don't know what guidelines you're citing. Maryland Statewide Child Protective Services Screening Procedures (SSA 95-13) describes an unattended child as: one who has been abandoned; a child less than 8 years old left in the care of either an unreliable person or someone less than 13 years old; a child between 8 and 12 years old left alone longer than briefly without sufficient contact or safety information (phone numbers of parents, neighbors, etc.); a child 12 years old or older who is left alone for long periods or overnight with responsibilities beyond his or her capacity or if the child has a special mental or physical disability that creates a greater risk.

http://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/cat/services/fdt.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both kids are old enough to be on their own. I wouldn't put one of mine in charge of the other, but that's the dynamics of my family. Each kid is in charge of himself when they are home alone and each is accountable to me for their own behavior and to tell me if a problem is occurring at the house, which could mean tattling on the other.

I have paid my oldest to take care of my youngest, but usually he does it for free. The reason is that so often he does things that waste my time or cost me money (just typical life things, nothing major, except when he lost a $500 retainer, but preventable). As I've told him, he owes me that time and can work it off through babysitting. On occasion I've offered to pay and he's declined because he wants to do something nice for me and that's something that's easy for him to do and makes me happy.

Unfortunately, at 9, it looks like Montgomery County guidelines might not allow the youngest child to be home alone for the entire duration of an early release day. The guidelines for 8-12 state "short periods, such as before and after school, but not for an entire day." This could go either way. Technically they were at school that day, so this does qualify as "after school". However, it is a longer period of time than a typical school day and might thus be considered closer to an entire day and therefore too long. I could well be misinterpreting the guidelines, but it appears at least possible that the older child DOES need to officially be "in charge" as the babysitter. I still wouldn't pay in this scenario though.

I think you are misinterpreting the guidelines. Truly, I am not worried about CPS coming to my house and taking my kids away because I've left them "alone" with each other for a few hours.

[Anonymous]

No, I would not pay him for that. However, if he wanted to earn extra money by watching his younger sibling on a weekend night so you and your husband could go out, then yes I'd pay him for that. Probably not quite what I'd pay an adult babysitter, though.

[Anonymous]

I never pay my teen to watch his younger sibling. Never crossed my mind.