Mom does not listen at all

[Anonymous]

My mom's two best friends moved away a few months ago. I realize that she is somewhat lonely (although she still has my dad), but recently, when I call her, she just talks and talks and I literally cannot get a word in edgewise (except to say "no" or "yes" to the nonstop stream of questions she asks me). Several times, I have had something specific to tell her, and it has literally just been impossible to do so. I want to raise this issue with her, but don't know how to do it tactfully. Suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Could you say something like, "Hi, Mom, I have three things I need to tell you right away so I don't forget and then we can talk about other things, OK?"

She does sound lonely.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have the same problem with my mom, although her loneliness stems from the fact she's home and my dad is in a nursing home, permanently.

My mom will also judge/become angry if I don't call her often enough, but never calls me. It's maddening. I hate calling her because she just talks non-stop and doesn't take a breath. Ha! I got a call waiting when I was talking to her yesterday and I said, "Oh! Call coming in! Hang on!" Clicked over, chatted for a minute with my DH, came back and she was STILL talking and did not know I had left the convo!

My quick suggestion is to call her telling her you only have a few minutes and right away ask her if this is a good time because before you forget/have to go, you have to tell her ____.

If I don't just immediately bring up what I want or need to say, my mom will just start talking.

[Anonymous]

My mother is like this too. She and my younger sister are completely self-absorbed people who don't realize they are prattling on. My strategy is to A) limit how often I talk to her and B) make sure to say "everybody's good here, thanks for asking." She never takes the hint and it's not worth addressing it with her because my older sister and I have tried and she is too old to change. It's just an annoying part of her personality that I've chosen to accept and move on from.

[Anonymous]

Use email.

If your mom is like mine, the emails will inevitably result in follow-up phone calls too though (but email really is our best means of communication).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use email.

If your mom is like mine, the emails will inevitably result in follow-up phone calls too though (but email really is our best means of communication).

PP here. My mom dismisses email. Doesn't "count" like a phone call. If she says (and often does) that she "hasn't heard from me..." She is specifically referencing a phone call or an in person visit.

[Anonymous]

Ask your Dad if you have health concerns re: your Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use email.

If your mom is like mine, the emails will inevitably result in follow-up phone calls too though (but email really is our best means of communication).

PP here. My mom dismisses email. Doesn't "count" like a phone call. If she says (and often does) that she "hasn't heard from me..." She is specifically referencing a phone call or an in person visit.

If there's specific info to convey, though, it could be a useful addition to a "conversation" in which only one person gets talk.

My mom can be like this some days, even though she is genuinely interested in what is going on in my life. She just really has some long stories to tell sometimes...I can't tell you how many times our phone connection has dropped and I have waited several minutes to call back for whatever reason, and she still did not even know that the call had dropped because she had not stopped talking until the phone rang when I called back.

[Anonymous]

I usually put the phone down and walk away for 10-15 min (put laundry in, clean some dishes, etc). When i come back to pick up, she's never noticed that i've been gone. That way my mom gets to vent but I don't feel like I wasted time.