Disaffiiliate from Sorority?

[Anonymous]

I was wondering - has anyone actually taken the time to disaffiliate from their college sorority?
I was in one in a top college. It was a lot of fun and definitely helped my social life. Now, I think back and I am disgusted. I feel like the sorority is everything that I teach my young daughter to never be. We excluded other girls (I can remember some crying and having to go home for a few days when not "selected"), we sat in meetings and discussed other girls after meeting them for 15 minutes, blackballed some girls for the most trivial reason, and then we paired up with fraternities for ridiculous events that other people were not invited to.
I didn't go to one of those schools where sororities are everything in life, but it was still a big part. We weren't even the most popular or the beautiful crew. We were pretty middle of the road, and tried to be kind. That makes me think that if I am so embarrassed to have been a part of such a clique, it must have been even a hundred times worse for others.
I can't stand when people defend them because they do "community service." My sorority was a bunch of goody-goodies and I don't think we set any records for service. Plus, there are a million ways to help other people without being part of a group that excludes people in the process!
Should I just chalk it up to things we do when we're young? I still get a magazine every month that I immediately throw away. Go through the effort to disaffiliate?
(Anyone else read "Pledged" by Alexandra Robbins? That definitely intensified my feelings!)

[Anonymous]

Let it go.

(Said by someone who depledged her sorority early in the second semester of freshman year)

[Anonymous]

Let it go. I disaffiliated my junior year because I didn't have the time for it anymore. I can't imagine letting it bother me years later.

[Anonymous]

Just ask to be taken off the mailing list.

[Anonymous]

Mine charged a fee to disaffiliate. $250 and you had to turn in your pin ($75 new) and all lettered items.

[Anonymous]

I never considered this but I certainly wish I'd done it in college. It probably would have been a good move around the time they started punishing me for attending politic events instead of going to their retreats.

So, now I wouldn't want that for my daughters. I don't imagine I'd talk about my sorority much and certainly wouldn't instill in them a dream of being a sorority girl. I figure that's enough.

PS they aren't getting money from me to DA.

[Anonymous]

Who cares. I quit senior year because I didn't have time for all the nonsense. I never turned anything in, and I sure as hell didn't pay them to "disaffiliate".

[Anonymous]

OP, you have described the many reasons I always steered clear of sororities and hope my daughter does as well.

[Anonymous]

OMG 11:00. the perfect answer.

[Anonymous]

It was "college..." not a reflection of you. I have no regrets. Lots of fun. Was never blatantly mean. Everyone gossips..not unique to sororities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have described the many reasons I always steered clear of sororities and hope my daughter does as well.

+1

All of my roommates joined and I didn't. We still all stayed friends. Some people don't just blindly follow where they are led.

[Anonymous]

That's kind of hysterical that they would make you pay to disaffiliate. That's insanity!

[Anonymous]

Why does Greek life even exist anymore? Such follow the sheep way of thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was "college..." not a reflection of you. I have no regrets. Lots of fun. Was never blatantly mean. Everyone gossips..not unique to sororities.

That's like saying mean behavior is not unique to bullies so what's wrong with bullies?

[Anonymous]

I went to a college where Greek life was big and I was not Greek. I ended up pretty unhappy and transferred to another school (where I was much happier). My parents did not really help me in picking a college so I had no clue even what a sorority was. When it was time for my son to go to college, I steered him to a college with no Greek system. There are plenty of community service opportunities there and he seems to have found a nice group of friends. I'm glad he doesn't have to go through what I went through (although I'm not sure it would have been the same for him anyway).