Bilingual / multilingual families, care to share?

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering two things
1. What was your "system" for language at home? (Like, each parent speaks a different language, or, only speak non-English language at home, etc.)
2. How has it panned out? (Are your kids fully bilingual/multilingual? If not, what happened?)

We are new parents, and I still am not sure how to best tackle the issue. Right now, I speak English to dc during the day, and then dh and I both speak the second language when we're all together (nights, weekends). During my time alone with dc, we also listen to music and read books in the 3rd language. Sometimes we will do activities all together in 3rd language though dh doesn't speak it or understand it much.

[Anonymous]

Go for it. Sounds like you have a great plan.

[Anonymous]

I spoke French to DD, DH spoke English. She wasn't allowed to address me in English. When she was 5, we enrolled her in the Chinese immersion school. She's graduating next spring, fluent in 3 languages.

[Anonymous]

I take it your DC is not yet talking. That's when it gets real. What you're doing now is fine but not going to cut it in a year. If you REALLY want DC to be bilingual, the ONLY way is to have a rule, zero English at home. Take it from me.

[Anonymous]

My kids are bilingual but it took a LOT of time. My husband speaks two languages, I only speak one of them. So it was up to him to speak his heritage language. I also put my kids into weekend language classes. They were pretty much bilingual around their tween years. The youngest is 7 and still working on it. If you can do nothing but speak one language at home, that's the fastest way. We didn't have that option.

[Anonymous]

My father and step mom raised my half-brother both speaking the same foreign language. At about age 9 I noticed he wasn't saying all that much to them. They had the no English at home rule but the problem was with English school and English after-school babysitter, he just wasn't fluent enough to express himself at that age. So they dropped the no English at home and allowed him to respond back in English. That improved communication but alas he did not retain the 2nd language fully fluently. He still speaks it and it improves every time he goes to the foreign country but he's not 100% fluent. I've seen many families do it successfully however. You have ot watch your child and see.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much for your stories! Dc is just starting to speak a few words, but he understands a lot of what I say. I'm worried he's getting a lot of English and not enough 2nd language, like some pps said. (Because English is our 1 on 1 time, and he gets more attention in English) so I might start speaking 2nd language too during some of the weekdays that we're alone...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I take it your DC is not yet talking. That's when it gets real. What you're doing now is fine but not going to cut it in a year. If you REALLY want DC to be bilingual, the ONLY way is to have a rule, zero English at home. Take it from me.

+1 Drop the English now!

I have 2 teenagers and though not a word of English was spoken to them at home ever in their lives, English quickly became their dominant language once they started school. They are fluent in their home language, but are lacking in many technical terms, "school words" and formal grammar. Their writing in that language is not great.

[Anonymous]

Also look at doing an immersion school if you can. It's not the greatest, but it's better than all english during the day.

[Anonymous]

Rules for fluency in other languages:
1. As little English at home as you possibly can - with homework and playdates in that language, you will speak it anyway. It will be your child's dominant language whatever you do!
2. Watch TV, movies, have playdates and read in the other language.
3. Go to a weekend school in that language, for written expression and grammar.

Realistically, your child will be fluent in immersion languages (the country's language and/or the language of her school). It is your job to provide an immersion environment at home as well. This poses a particular problem for parents working full time, who have less time to converse with their kids. If you are in this situation, you can choose an au pair or nanny who speaks your language.

[Anonymous]

I second these who say the environment always wins. So hold off English as long as possible.

Spouse and I are of different nationalities, and I'm pretty bad at his language and he's equally bad at mine. (Yeah, we take New Year's resolutions to improve but somehow, it never happens.)
So we speak English to each other. When talking to DC, I use my own language maybe 90% of the time, switching to English when I need to yell "Get off the road' or "No soccer in the house" to him and his English-speaking buddies. He also attends language enrichment class twice a month. He is pretty fluent, but English is and will always be his first language. Spouse has mostly spoken English to DC, with the result that DC's knowledge of that language is limited to a handful of phrases of good morning/ good night variety.

In my view, you won't be successful in introducing another language unless you create a NEED for the child to express themselves in that language. Difficult to balance this without becoming a nagging mom who "doesn't hear" when addressed in English. Yet, there are ways, but it's hard work. Try to maximize the exposure - even if it's hard to find same-language kids, if they hear you speaking the language to other adults, this also helps. IN DC's case, there's always a massive upsurge in his abilities when we visit my family overseas, which we try to do annually.

And you shouldn't we afraid of the kids falling behind academically - I know plenty of families who only speak their own language at home, and kids are doing perfectly fine at school. The schools in this area are well equipped to deal with English-as-second-language speakers.

[Anonymous]

We are bilingual and only speak 2nd language at home. Every time we go to back home, we bring back books, DVDs, etc., and every time friends and family visit us, we ask to bring books, dvds, etc. DD is in school now, so most new words are being learned in English, so there is the usual mixing of the 2 languages. So, it's common she'll say something like "today we learned about PLANETS in SCIENCE and did you know that PLUTO isn't a PLANET, it's a BIG ROCK?" (where English words are in all caps. I'll say something like, "Cool!" and basically repeat everything back to her, 100% in 2nd language. And ask questions, like "so what are the names of the other planets?" "how many planets are there?" so she can use hear the new word in 2nd language several times. It's working so far!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for starting this threat. DC is 2 and only speaks our native language. He is pretty advanced for his age language-wise, but we are thinking of sending him to an English-speaking daycare in a few months. It is a tough decision since he most probably will lose the language, but at the same time it's heartbreaking to see him on a playground and classes trying to talk to others kids and getting upset they don't understand him. I figured his social life and happiness are more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for starting this threat. DC is 2 and only speaks our native language. He is pretty advanced for his age language-wise, but we are thinking of sending him to an English-speaking daycare in a few months. It is a tough decision since he most probably will lose the language, but at the same time it's heartbreaking to see him on a playground and classes trying to talk to others kids and getting upset they don't understand him. I figured his social life and happiness are more important.

Thread* sorry

[Anonymous]

Make it a rule that your child is not allowed to speak English at home. Expose your child to the language as early as possible. My rule was that my kid could speak whatever language he wants in school or with is friends, but in the house, he has to speak the second language.