Boss sucks. Can I tell his boss?

[Anonymous]

My boss has been making inappropriate (not sexual, but inappropriately mean) comments about me in meetings with people higher level than me and my peers. With me present. I think this reflects poorly on him, but I feel like no one is going to stop it unless I say something. I want to tell boss' boss. Does that ever end well?

[Anonymous]

No. 99% of the time your boss's boss will side with your boss. Especially over "mean comments."

[Anonymous]

I think you need a thicker skin. You can't "tell" on your boss for being "mean" to you. That sounds immature.

The next time it happens, prepare what you will say.

I have had to confront this type of behavior, and I don't like confrontation.

Confront you must.

Stand up, and say politely and calmly, "Boss [name] when you say this about me, it really looks like you are purposely putting me down. And as one of your subordinates, I know that must not be your intention. Please don't do it again."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss has been making inappropriate (not sexual, but inappropriately mean) comments about me in meetings with people higher level than me and my peers. With me present. I think this reflects poorly on him, but I feel like no one is going to stop it unless I say something. I want to tell boss' boss. Does that ever end well?

Examples of his comments please. Maybe you're overly sensitive?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Comments are basically telling me that no one in the office likes me (not true). And that there are big problems with my work (also not true). In fact I am one of the top performers. He is not a high performer. After these meetings people have come up to me to tell me that he is wrong and that they found it inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

So if he makes comments like that in front if you, call him on it politely. Right then and there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After these meetings people have come up to me to tell me that he is wrong and that they found it inappropriate.

Whatever you do, you need to make sure that other people continue to view your boss as the problem, and not you.

[Anonymous]

I am a very intelligent high performing woman (and good looking). I think it is my looks that makes men think they can talk down to me. I always shoot a comment right back, it shuts them up for however they last.


Are you okay with confrontation? If not, I would write down the comments and send an email to his boss and use the words "hostile work environment".

[Anonymous]

Does "hostile work environment" ring some sort of alarm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does "hostile work environment" ring some sort of alarm?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Comments are basically telling me that no one in the office likes me (not true). And that there are big problems with my work (also not true). In fact I am one of the top performers. He is not a high performer. After these meetings people have come up to me to tell me that he is wrong and that they found it inappropriate.

Then I bet his behavior will eventually bit him in the ass.

Don't meet crazy with crazy or rude with rude. Try to come off as the calm professional one - it makes him look like even more of a jackass.

[Anonymous]

You should strongly consider that saying something, and esp. using litigious phrases like "hostile work environment," could get you fired. It might be best to just move on.

[Anonymous]

No, you can't do this. I mean, you can, but if you do then you will never be taken seriously again and will also be looked at as a problem employee.

[Anonymous]

document, document, document. do you have an HR department?

[Anonymous]

Document, document, document. And (alas!) look for a new job. Been there, done that.

Such people are usually very charming and deferential to their superiors, and so it can be hard to be believed.

BTDT and put up with it for far too long. It is true that the bad behavior might catch up with Boss, but one of the most powerful indictments of such people is to have multiple strong staff members vote with their feet.

Good luck, and sorry you are putting up with this.