Help me be a better wife

[Anonymous]

I am not touchy feely,my H is. I am just not warm and fuzzy. We've been married 15 years and I think I have finally worn him down with my non-emptionol self. How can I change this? It's more about the day to day lovey dovey, than big gestures. I am just not a demonstrative person, and have never been. But it's obvious my H needs that, and not doing it is to good for our marriage. Thoughts? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

The short answer is fake it til it's a habit.

Think about the behavior you'd like to demonstrate, and make a conscious effort to do it. After a while, it will become a habit.

[Anonymous]

Men are pretty one dimensional. A man can put up with all manner of indignities so long as you show him you adore his penis on a frequent basis.

Any other response really can be traced back to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The short answer is fake it til it's a habit.

Think about the behavior you'd like to demonstrate, and make a conscious effort to do it. After a while, it will become a habit.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are pretty one dimensional. A man can put up with all manner of indignities so long as you show him you adore his penis on a frequent basis.

Any other response really can be traced back to this.

+1 DW is not touchy feely, I am. We knew that before we got married. Other aspects of the relationship, including communication and sex, are good.

[Anonymous]

Think of three or four things that you could do each day, and then just remind yourself and force yourself to do them. Try to mean it in the moment, if you can, or at least think to yourself about how much you love your husband.

For example, big hug in the morning, big hug when you see each other at the end of the day, kiss the top of his head twice during the day, and send him a quick email or text message every day saying something loving or appreciative or just "xoxo."

[MargStone]

In everything you do, practice makes perfect.

[Anonymous]

I make a point to hug my kids and husband as soon as I see them every morning. Seriously. I want them all to know that I love them and waking up to them is a joy.

[Anonymous]

spoon

[Anonymous]

You just have to do it.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a very cold, WASPy house, where my mother would grimace any time anyone touched her beyond a handshake. My husband grew up in a ... normal household. So I had a lot to get used to.

I made it a goal to kiss DH each time we were leaving each other or coming back to each other. Once that became routine, I made it a point to proactively touch DH twice a day. Then three times a day. Now it's automatic. Now if I walk past him, I'll squeeze his arm or something without thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

DW here. Give him anal. Sounds crazy, but sharing something that intimate will convince him that you care.

[Anonymous]

I cuddled DH for the first time in a long time and he was so friggin happy, it makes me want to keep doing it, because I love him. I'm not touchy feely either, though having regular sex is no problem. He's happy in that department, but my DH just like any normal human being needs true intimacy. You can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The short answer is fake it til it's a habit.

Think about the behavior you'd like to demonstrate, and make a conscious effort to do it. After a while, it will become a habit.

Agree !