Should twins go to the same college?

[Anonymous]

OK, not sure how many this will apply to here. But for parents of twins - can you share your experience with your twins going to the same college or going to different colleges? I have two girls, sophomores, and we are just starting to think about the whole college process.

[Anonymous]

Each kid is different--including twins. What is a good fit for one child isn't necessarily the right fit for the other.

[Anonymous]

I would think that's for them to decide.

[Anonymous]

I am a two AND have twins. My sister and I are VERY close. While we applied to four of the same schools we also applied to two different schools because our parents insisted. We went to the same college. Same dorm but different floors. Different majors.

My twins are also very close and wanted to go to the same college, and we found one that was a good fit for both. Different forms, but I have gotten the impression they seek each other out a little more than my sister and I did.

[Anonymous]

Our friends have identical twins with completely opposite interests. Think STEM vs. the arts. So they're at different colleges and everybody is happy.

[Anonymous]

We allow our kids to choose colleges for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think that's for them to decide.

There were 3 sets of female twins in my college class (which was about 650 students per class). They all chose on their own. Interestingly, it was the class of '88.

[Anonymous]

There was a set of triplets at gds last year who flat out said they would only go to a school that accepted all three if them. They ended up having to choose between Columbia and Penn.

[Anonymous]

I don't have twins but I am one. My sister and I went to the same college but it wasn't because we wanted to stay together; it just happened to be the best place for each of us. We had different, though related, majors.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend in college who we would jokingly greet each other with "hey sexy"(joke after being hit on by a guy with that line). Didn't know she had a twin......that was embarrassing!!!

[Anonymous]

I am a twin and never even considered going to the same college as my sister. We were close, but had different interests, and I don't think applied to even one school in common. I had a pretty big independent streak, so going away to college on my own was pretty important to me. I think my parents would have discourGed us from attending school together, but really just focused on helping us find schools that were a good fit for each of us individually.

That said, my college boyfriend had a twin at school with us, and that worked out a-okay for them too. Both indepently chose the same school, without knowing what the other was choosing. They were close, and hung out in the same circles at school, but both developed their own interests and were firmly on their own path by grad school.

[Anonymous]

I'm a twin. My sister and I chose two different colleges. I hated my choice so as a junior I transferred to her school. Not just because she was there but I also loved the school. But even after transferring I would hang with her and her friends but also had a totally different group of friends that were just my own. So for me it was no harm no foul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Each kid is different--including twins. What is a good fit for one child isn't necessarily the right fit for the other.

+1

My twins are still very young but we'll likely leave it up to them whether they want to attend the same college or not. We will discourage them, however, from limiting their options too much by only focusing on schools where they think they will work well for both of them, academically & otherwise. Whether or not that leaves them with a lot of schools they both choose to apply to will likely depend largely on:

1)Whether or not they are both considering,& likely to get into, the same tier of schools. If one has a good shot at being admitted to a top 20 school, for instance, & the other is an average or just slightly above average student, chances are there will very little, if any, overlap in the schools they apply to (nor, IMO, should there be).

2)If they both want the same things in a school in terms of such things as size, location (i.e. urban vs. suburban or rural, east coast vs. west coast, north vs. south), areas of academic strength/focus, campus social climate. If one wants to go to a large university while the other would feel more comfortable at a smaller school, one hates cold weather while the other has her heart set on attending college in New England,one's top choices are MIT & Caltech while the other plans on majoring in the arts or humanities, etc., then it makes little sense for them to apply to the same schools.

My twins are very close now & I hope they will continue to be. Nonetheless, I wouldn't want one to not go to her "dream" school because the other can't get in or one (or both) to sacrifice something that she really wants in a school in order to accommodate the other. I'd feel as if she (or they) were selling themselves short unnecessarily. It's important to remember that, unless perhaps one school follows a trimester or quarter schedule & the other a more traditional one AND the schools are too far away from each other for an occasional weekend visit (or transportation is an issue), they will likely have plenty of opportunities to see each other even if they attend different schools. Barring one (or both) choosing to stay at school for a summer session or having a job or internships far from home (all of which seem to be pretty rare among those students just finishing their freshman year, at least; most college kids I know seem come home at least the first summer & many come home every summer), they will each probably be home for at least 3 months in the summer & a lot of that time will likely overlap. Most colleges' winter breaks -- which are, generally speaking, also much longer than the ones they get now-- overlap at least somewhat, as well.

If my twins do, in fact, end up at the same school, I'll strongly discourage them from rooming together or even living on the same hall freshman year. I'd feel much the same way, FWIW, about two non-related friends from high school living together their first year of college. From what I've seen, this often ends up serving as a "crutch" of sorts that, to varying extents, hampers ability & motivation IRT expanding social horizons & developing new friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a set of triplets at gds last year who flat out said they would only go to a school that accepted all three if them. They ended up having to choose between Columbia and Penn.

That's interesting. I wonder if this may have helped one or two of them, admissions wise, while possibly hurting the other one or two? It seems unlikely all 3 would be equally desirable to all of the schools they applied to.

[Anonymous]

I knew a family w/twins. The girls wanted to be close (within an hour or two) but not the same college. They sent out applications in tandem: there was the Colorado choice, the California choice, the North Carolina choice, etc.

I don't know how they decided. I know they didn't get into all, but it appeared to work out.