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Preparing child for school play date
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Anonymous
| Do you have any advice on how to prepare your child for a school interview play date? My daughter is applying to Pre-K and is great in settings that she knows but I'm afraid she'll panic and not want to leave me when we go to a new school. Sometimes this happens when we start new classes, etc. I know my being all worried about it doesn't help either. She did great on her testing but I know the play date is very important. She's applying to St. Patricks and Beauvoir. Help please??? Thank you all!!! |
Anonymous
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Unfortunately, there isn't that much you can really do to prepare other than be sure to explain what/where you are going and get a good night's sleep and a good breakfast. Some kids are naturally more outgoing and just come across better in a play visit. Some of our child's visits were better than others b/c of random things - in one visit, other classmates were there which made our child more comfortable and quicker to warm up. One visit that did not go as well had all boys in it except for our child - the boys were boisterously playing together and our child seemed a bit shy in comparison.
Just do your best to downplay the visit and let your child know that s/he is just going to visit the school to see how they like it. I remember arriving to our last visit and watching two parents who were arguing with one another out of frustration b/c their daughter did not want them to leave and was crying. Both parents were angrily scolding each other about what they had each done wrong to cause the situation. It was horrible and then the Father stormed out. The reality is that there are very few spaces available in most of these "competitive schools" after sibling/alumni preferences. So much of the process is pre-determined by factors unrelated to how your child scores or behaves on their play visit. It's not worth agonozing over or stressing your child out in any way. Choose one parent to take the child to the visit, preferably the one that separates the easiest. And, if it doesn't work out this year, there is always next year. |
Anonymous
| I just wanted to thank the OP and PP for this thread. We're getting ready for a school playdate and DC is having severe separation anxiety right now. It never occurred to me to have DH take him (he separates from DH better). Thanks much! |
Anonymous
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When my DD went to her playdate for pre-school, I mentioned that we were going to a playdate and that mommy would take her in the room but then all the mommies had to leave for a few minutes but I'd be right outside. I tried not to make her too anxious about it, even though I was very nervous about it. I just told her it was a playdate with other kids, except the mommies had to wait outside for a few minutes. My main advice - give a snack before the playdate, make sure she's not tired, DON'T tell her you'll give her candy/McDonald's/etc. if she is good during the playdate (the kids tell the teachers!), go potty beforehand, and don't stress out too much.
My friend's daughter cried during her playdate and she still got in. |
pollyanna
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Your post has great advise - not criticizing. Just to let OP know that in some schools the teachers come in and get the kids from the waiting room - they put their name tags on a table, the kids are asked to pick their name tag and follow the teacher. I think this happened in two schools we visited. It's just if the child is really worried and relying on mum to take her in and stay for a little while this may not happen. Other schools of course do allow parents in to settle the kids. DC had play dates in 6 schools (last year) so we had a variety of experiences. I put the emphasis on play but told DC that a teacher would come and talk to him so he should try to answer all the questions he was asked/do any tasks he was given even if he is not really sure. That is the only "pep talk" I had with him. I told him he had to visit these schools so that he could decide which he liked best. He had no idea he was the one being assessed.. As far as he knew he was going to play with some children and probably talk to a teacher. He really enjoyed the play dates and always came out happy. I really think the schools do a lot to put kids at ease. If I remember all the schools gave the kids a little memento as they left. I also tried to pick times, if we were given the choice, that DC is at his best wrt to his mood. |
Anonymous
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At Beauvoir, Sidwell, and Maret, they let you take your child into the room where the playdate takes place and get him/her settled with an activity, if you like. At GDS, the teachers came to the lobby to pick up and drop off the children.
We told our child that she was going to have a playdate at a school to see if she liked it, and that was all. After the first, she knew what to expect. I guess they went well--I hope they went well! I don't really know; she just said she had fun, and she liked each school. |
Anonymous
| How old are the children we're talking about? |
Anonymous
| Pre-K and K. |
Anonymous
In other words, somewhere between 3.5 and 5 |
Anonymous
| Whew! Thanks. I ask because my DC just turned 2 and it's hard to imagine having these kind of pep talks with him in anticipation of our impending preschool playdate. But that helps me put it into context. We're hoping he can start preschool in the fall. |
Anonymous
| i have a hard time imagining my almost three year old happily going off with a strange teacher to play with kids he doesn't know, to be quite honest. |
Anonymous
| Don't tell them that they are going to play, tell them that the teacher has something to teach them. Some kids can think that they can cut loose if they think that they are supposed to "play". |
Anonymous
| Are these private schools that require this? |
Anonymous
| Of course they all require it! |
Anonymous
No, not all private schools require playdates. |