Advice about kindergarten boy
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Anonymous
| My son just started kindergarten a month ago. He does not play with anyone in the class. Doesn't even seen to want to. Sometimes he follows another boy around. He hardly speaks while at class. Last year at preschool he also hardly ever played with anyone but we didn't find it concerning since he had started the school mid year. We have had a few playdates with people from his class but he does some parallel play, never really playing with the kids that come over. He has a cousin he is quite close with and they play together very well. At home he is chatty and happy overall. He just hates school. How do I work on his social skills? Should he be evaluated? Do I need to look into a different, smaller school for him where they can help him closely during recess/ social situations? |
Anonymous
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We had to place our son at a small private school. They did a good job placing my kid with another child that they knew he'd get along with and now they are good friends. If he hates school, it sounds like it is a bad fit. If you can afford it, I would switch him at least for a few years into a smaller more personal program. The first preschool my son was at, he was not happy and would not engage with anyone. The next year we switched and it was better but he outgrew that program and we see a huge difference in the new one.
I would be concerned but he just may not be as social. Talk to your ped and possibly try a developmental ped. |
Anonymous
| These were the exact signs (little interest in peers, parallel play long past the age where that was expected) that led us to get our child tested; she was first found to have Aspergers, then when the DSM changed, autism. With social skills work and a more structured and smaller school, she has thrived. |
Anonymous
OP, does your child have an IEP right now? If you are concerned, talk to the teacher and start the evaluation process now. My son sounds similar to yours. He doesn't play in the classroom but once he's outside - that's his zone, that's where he's most social. Another good place to socialize - the movies. Sometimes we take him and one of his closest friends to the movies, they chat before and after, go to the playground nearby. |
Anonymous
| In our experience, two red flags looking back would be lunchtime and recess. 1st grade diagnosis of AS. |
Anonymous
+1. Our DS was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 4 yrs old. Not engaging with peers was the main reason he was evaluated. He played fine with older kids just not his same age peers. Please get your child evaluated. He needs an IEP. My DS is doing great at his mainstream public charter school, has friends, etc. Now in 2nd grade. |
Anonymous
| This sounds like my son when he was younger. I don't have confidence that small schools will have the know-how to know how to engage kids and get them interacting, so you'd want to know if and how they do that (they will say they do). Buy the book Think Social and the books for kids by Michelle Garcia-Winner on SocialThinking.com and do the activities in Think Social with your son (or hire a local high school or college student to do these activities with him--use toys and stuffed animals to stand in for extra players in the group activities) and keep having kids over who he plays well with. There are some Social Thinking groups in the area. The one I've heard of is Sue Abrams' group. |
Anonymous
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I agree with other PPs. I'd ask the school to evaluate your son as well as ask your pediatrician. If there is an issue to be addressed, he'll need an IEP.
Just so you know, there are a lot of reasons for this behavior other than autism. He could be more introverted, socially immature, anxiety, and often kids with speech delays have a difficult time developing social skills b/c they're not able to express themselves or pick up on what others are saying to them. I'd continue with one on one play dates if you can. Social skills are just that--a skill. For some kids, they come naturally whereas others need practice even if they don't have LDs. I like this book b/c of the handy checklist in the back about how to have a successful playdate: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Much-Work-Your-Friend/dp/0743254651/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411077018&sr=1-2&keywords=rick+lavoie It's also worth exploring why he doesn't like school. I'd consider talking with the school counselor. Sometimes they have social skills groups for kids who have difficulty adjusting. Good luck to you; hope you find some answers. |
Anonymous
| A PP here. I don't know that book, though I've seen it. I don't think the title is very confidence-giving to kids, but might be a great book. This is totally random and neither here nor there, but Mel Levine, who wrote the Intro to the book, was accused of multiple counts of child molestation (and ended up commiting suicide), so whenever I see his name I end up questioning what it's associated with. Probably the book is helpful. |
Anonymous
| I'd get him evaluated. |
Anonymous
Don't judge a book by it's cover. (Kids aren't supposed to be the ones reading it.) Rick Lavoie is a respected educator. |
Anonymous
| There are also therapist who offer social skills group. We just started one offered by InStep in VA. We've been very pleased so far. Our son is not autistic. My sense is that Instep's niche is borderline kids, which firs our son. they also offer a parent component. |
Anonymous
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Get an evaluation. After DS was diagnosed with ASD, his school provided a social skills group 4x a week during nap time, pragmatic speech therapy, OT, PT, his teacher assigned him peer "helpers" who became his friends, set social and communications goals in his IEP, etc. all at school and at no cost to us.
I'm the pp with the 2nd grader. The above was in preschool. DS is still at the same school and loves school. Please get your child evaluated. |