Am I being too sensitive?

[Anonymous]

My mom constantly refers to me as "girl." It's a somewhat recent phenomenon (within the last couple years) but gotten to the point where every text, email, or phone conversation starts with "hi there Girl!" Or "what's up Girl?" etc. I'm 35 and the oldest of her children. She doesn't refer to my younger siblings that way. For some reason it annoys the crap out of me, but I wonder if I'm just being too sensitive. She has a tendency to make a big deal out of everything so I don't know how to tactfully ask her to call me by my name without it turning into a prolonged drama. Thoughts? Am I just being silly to be annoyed by it?

[Anonymous]

She's probably trying to be cool. She might see on TV or hear in music a line of "hey gurrl!" and she thinks it's cute. I doubt she's trying to imply that you're immature.

You can do a "hey mama!" back - also a phrase in pop music, so she might appreciate that you're playing along, or she might realize it's kinda weird and stop. I'd try not to be annoyed by it though.

[Anonymous]

I agree....her first baby is now 35, and she is trying to make herself feel younger and prove she is not an old lady. (and of course, if you are still a "girl" then she isn't that old)
It could be worse.
Let it slide.

[Anonymous]

I think you should say something, because I know the annoyance caused by calling someone something they don't want to be called. Your Mom wanting to seem cool/young/whatever wouldn't trump her desire not to annoy you if she knew it was annoying you. Maybe you or one of your siblings could say something - however you think it would go over best - maybe in a casual, joking manner? I would not like being called girl.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ok to say something. The best thing is to be direct and just say "Mom, can you just call me Jane instead of girl?" She'll probably ask why, and that's up to you if you want to give her the real or a made-up reason.

I went to college in the Southwest and only the fakey people called me "girl". The rest of them called me by my name. This was within the past 10 years.

It wouldn't surprise me if your mom's friends do it with their daughters and she is just trying to jump on their weird bandwagon.

[Anonymous]

Just let it go. She'll eventually tire of it.

[Anonymous]

It would be like you calling her "hey, lady".

[Anonymous]

I think you are being overly sensitive, but it is bothering you and thus it is important.

[Anonymous]

Not sure how does my daughter feel about it. But I see my husband and myself, referring to my teenage daughter more like Hey Girlie, Hi Beautiful etc , more often when we are showing lot of affection to her.

[Anonymous]

My mom used to call for me and my brother to come upstairs like this: KiiiiiiiiiiiDs! This was when we were 25 and 30. It made my brother and I laugh and roll our eyes then we would pretend we were teenagers again and say "aww mom do we have to?!?"

I don't know why but some of the things my mom does drives me bat poop crazy...but if it were someone else it wouldn't bother me.

So feel free to bring it up, or just say "holla!" Or something equally as awkward.

[Anonymous]

My grandfather refers to me as "the girl" even though I am almost 40 years old. As in, "You brought the girl with you this time." Annoying, yeah, but not that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - if it bothers YOU, you have all the right in the world to tell your Mom. My grandma used to call me by a very childish nickname and even though I knew it would hurt her feelings I told her to please stop when I was about 12 or so. I just didn't want to be treated like a baby anymore once I was a teenager. It's normal and it's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - if it bothers YOU, you have all the right in the world to tell your Mom. My grandma used to call me by a very childish nickname and even though I knew it would hurt her feelings I told her to please stop when I was about 12 or so. I just didn't want to be treated like a baby anymore once I was a teenager. It's normal and it's okay.

Thanks- it's part of a larger pattern of feeling smothered and "babied" by her as of late, and it's just kind of odd. And honestly I wouldn't mind if it was an occasional thing, I honestly just can't remember the last time she addressed me by by name! I have a couple friends where we occasionally call each other "lady" but the difference to me there is that it's more age appropriate and not how we address each other 100% of the time.