Keep things easy for the SN kid?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever had a teacher on the one hand tell you your child is very strong in a subject and then report that she doesn't give the same enrichment to your child that she does for the non-SN kids at her level because she doesn't want your child to get frustrated? This happened last year with math and we shrugged it off. Now this year, DD has been kept out of the top math group for now (as reported by the SN teacher) because they want to keep her frustration level low. (DD has HFA and is mainstreamed).

Keep in mind she doesn't throw things and scream when frustrated. She just cries and often she gets herself together without crying and without needing adult help. She is a happy and well-adjusted kid despite all the challenges she has faced. Also, she doesn't get upset ever in math. I asked. We have been through it a lot in her areas of weakness and she has come so far and her attitude has turned around. Maybe she would be more anxious if she thinks enough of the kids are better at math, but I honestly think she might like it.

I'm going to trust in the process for now. I know groups are fluid and no, I am not THAT parent who thinks my kid is some genius. I don't even think she's twice exceptional, but I do think this is a strength and I don't want expectations lowered because of her SN. I wish the SN person had not told me anything, but whatever.

[Anonymous]

Can she actually do the math at the higher level?
Will she need additional support to get through the higher level math?
Is she currently performing at an expected grade level?

I'd also consider the bigger picture. Even if she's overall a happy kid who can re-group when necessarily, math is just one part of a long day. So would the higher math be too much of a drain for her in the context of the day/week?

If you really feel confident in her abilities, there's no reason not to approach the teachers about the higher level math class. Maybe ask that she do it on a trial basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can she actually do the math at the higher level?
Will she need additional support to get through the higher level math?
Is she currently performing at an expected grade level?

I'd also consider the bigger picture. Even if she's overall a happy kid who can re-group when necessarily, math is just one part of a long day. So would the higher math be too much of a drain for her in the context of the day/week?

If you really feel confident in her abilities, there's no reason not to approach the teachers about the higher level math class. Maybe ask that she do it on a trial basis.

OP here. Thanks. She performs above grade level, probably well above, but you are right, maybe it would be a drain. Maybe it's good for her to have a confidence boost? When she gets anxious she does need more attention so that could be an issue, though she has supports. I guess conference time would be a good time to discuss it with the teacher because by then she'll be settled in and the teacher will have more of an idea of what she can handle?

It's so hard to know what to do. I want her to be happy at school and I don't want to ever push her too hard. At the same time, she has tremendous potential in her areas of strength and I think she needs the bar held high in those areas, but maybe not too high?

[Anonymous]

I'd definitely bring it up at the conference (if not b/f). Ask to do a trial basis. If she's able to go with the flow, then you've got your answer.

Just make sure she's prepared if she needs to go back to the other math class, I wouldn't make too big of a deal of it. Once you have the go-ahead from the teacher, you can bring this up to her casually as a possibility and something to try. Keep the pressure low.

[Anonymous]

I know that for my child with HFA, being challenged in her area of strength would make it easier to get through the day, not harder. Who wants to spend all day working hard in your area of challenge, and then being bored when you finally get to something you're good at?

My child feels proud of her accomplishments, just like every other kid, and it teachers her the tools (perseverance, etc.) that she can apply in her areas of challenge. It's easier for her to learn those tools in the context of something she enjoys. For example, she struggles with reading, but her teachers say she reads better when reading word problems during math than she does during reading class.

I'd push to get her into the higher level math class, OP.

[Anonymous]

I think the question is whether the teacher/school is doing this to make it easier for themselves or if they are truly concerned that putting her in higher math will affect your DD negatively.

What do you think, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the question is whether the teacher/school is doing this to make it easier for themselves or if they are truly concerned that putting her in higher math will affect your DD negatively.

What do you think, OP?

17:35 just gave me another perspective to think about and what she/he wrote makes sense. I don't know what to think. Yes, it might make things easier for the teacher, but it's hard for me to know if it's better for DD. They are reviewing now, so probably most kids aren't that challenged yet. I guess time will tell. I keep thinking about something I read by Temple Grandin about people seeing the HFA label and lowering expectations so I guess it made me hypersensitive to this topic. The thing is, it's just the first month of school and I am told the group make-up is always different by mid and end of year so I guess they are just figuring things out. I also think in this area, the land where everyone has an abnormally high IQ, there are probably plenty of kids good at math and maybe there isn't a huge difference between the groups so she may not be missing out on that much extra challenge?

[Anonymous]

Excellent question, OP.
I suppose it's a case-by-case thing, and I agree it's frustrating to not be able to observe your child in school and see what would be a better fit for her.

My son has the same issue for reading group. I was told last year that he was purposefully kept out of the top reading group despite being the best reader in the class by far because of expression difficulties stemming from his learning disabilities.
On the one hand, I completely understand. On the other, I'm incensed.

The issue here is catering to children with an extreme gap in their strength and weaknesses, even within the same subject. Very difficult to address in a mainstream classroom.

[Anonymous]

My middle school kid with HFA is in Advanced Math. I insisted. His strengths and special interests are one of the ways he will be able to cope with this as an adult. He should be encouraged to go as far as possible with them.

[Anonymous]

Some kids behave worse when they are under-challenged so if she is one of those kids, she should be in a more stimulating/challenging group. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry. My son gets stressed by math so I am happy to keep it easy and keep him successful. I have had to ask for advancement in other areas however to keep him engaged and behaving.