When a guy goes incognito

[Anonymous]

I've been dating someone for about 2 months. We talk most of the day just about whatever funny stuff is going on, meeting up for coffee, quick dinner, etc. Today things were normal, then he just disappeared. We had tentative plans for the evening and I didn't hear anything back after about 2pm. I sent a text around 4 and then left him alone and went ahead and did my own thing instead of waiting around to hear from him. We have iPhones and it says my message was delivered, and it's unlike him not to say anything for more than a couple hours.

Should I wait him out and see when he texts/calls or just call in the morning? It's so unlike him that I'm afraid something happened to him.

[Anonymous]

I'd wait it out and watch how he explains it. I've experienced this numerous times and the guy is always fine, but "something came up."

[Anonymous]

I don't blame you for being worried. It sounds like he typically would have responded by now.

I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to call him, if you haven't already.

[Anonymous]

Classic shit test. He's fine. Just playing games.

[Anonymous]

You should take this free time to look up the definition of incognito.

[Anonymous]

He's married

[Anonymous]

If this is a one-time thing, I would take a "wait and see" approach and give it some time...Perhaps he had something he had to take care of.

But if this happens often, then this guy is shady and by all means, let him go.

You do not want to date "Mr. Fly by Night."
There are plenty of normal men out there who do not lead a sketchy lifestyle than for you to waste your time w/this person.

Unless you like mystery man.

I think he could be married or already in a relationship however. He sounds like he has "other" interests....

[Anonymous]

I think the word is incommunicado.

[Anonymous]

Off the grid

[Anonymous]

If it's not like him I think it's fine to check in and make sure everything is okay. Can you check his Facebook page? If you still don't hear from him, then forget about him.

[Anonymous]

AWOL.

[Anonymous]

he is married, he is not freet ot talk once he goes home,., notice all thetimes when you talk or see each other it is when he can.

lesson learned-if he is controlling the times of yrou relationship he is married.

[Anonymous]

Could be anything, but after one time, I wouldn't consider this a pattern. I would, however, start paying attention to see if this happens around the same time or often.

You're still getting to know his schedule, so in 2 months time, this may be the first time something popped up at work. He could have left his phone and gone to a long meeting. Anything.

My BF is reliable and predictable. It's one of the things I really like about him. I'm over being left hanging and always wondering. So when he does this -- disappears for longer than a couple hours, I assume something is wrong. It's happened several times and each time I remind him to just send me a one line text, saying he can't talk and we'll catch up later. He says, "I'm a guy, and you may have to tell me that again, so be patient." Even good, respectful men and women can act "differently" sometimes and it may have nothing to do with you.

Of course it may be his way to do a quick fade out. Time will tell, but I wouldn't get into stalking mode too quickly.

[Anonymous]

Tentative plans, and no response to a text? Likely not going to end well. Don't follow up any more - wait for him to respond AND volunteer a really good explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's married

+1