Is it inappropriate to chime in?
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Anonymous
| My younger brother had a starter marriage when he was 19. His wife and I had tons in common and I just loved her to death. Neither of them was really ready to be married, and they divorced after only a few years, with no kids (although I suspect she had an abortion and that he pushed her into it). She remarried about six months ago, and I just saw a post on Facebook announcing that she is 12 weeks pregnant. I have texted her a few times since she split from my brother when there was something that made me think of her, but have not really spoken to or seen her. Would it be inappropriate to send her a message telling her that I'm so happy that she has found a new love and that they are going to have a baby? I think she will be a phenomenal mom, and I don't believe my brother harbors resentment towards her, they just both were too young to be married. Divorce was about three years ago FWIW. |
Anonymous
| I might leave out the part about the new love. But you can certainly (privately) express congratulations and joy re the pregnancy. |
Anonymous
| The only thing that matters is how it would make your brother feel. If he's over her, and he too is happy for her (or maybe he doesn't even care), then he probably wouldn't mind if you contacted her. There's no right or wrong answer, it all depends on the family dynamics. |
Anonymous
| i would congratulate her |
Anonymous
| Congratulate her. Why does your brother even need to know? I'm assuming you would do this in a private message. |
Anonymous
| It won't hurt anything. She'll either write you back or ignore you. |
Anonymous
| Congratulate her about the pregnancy. Don't say anything about her new love. |
Anonymous
| Thanks, guys! |
Anonymous
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I would let it go. She has a new life that excludes you.
What is a starter marriage? They had a failed marriage. I am almost 25 years i n my first marriage and neither of us consider it a "starter" marriage. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Agree with all of this. Her new life does not include you or else she would have reciprocated at some point since she and your brother split. Also, there is no junior version of marriage that we try on for size and move up when ready. |
Anonymous
Absolutely appropriate. You can be her friend if you (and she) wants...no reason not to 
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Anonymous
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Leave out "new love", add in "phenomenal mom".
Sure text. But just once. It would be pretty common if she doesn't respond or reach out to you. Unfortunately that is usually what is most comfortable. But do the friendly/loving thing. |
Anonymous
| Is a starter marriage like a starter house? Or a starter car? Is this a "thing"?! |