Registering for 2nd Baby?

[Anonymous]

I am expecting another boy and really only need two things that I can purchase myself. Several friends and family members are insisting I register so they can send a gift that we want/need. Is this tacky? I feel like it is tacky however they are asking me, I am not registering and telling them. What did you do? I mean, I can always use diapers and blankets, ect. I just do not want nor expect people to send me gifts. I'm just not sure how to handle people insisting that they have an outlet to send something.

[Anonymous]

I actually think registering for baby things is tacky regardless of the which child it is. Its a horrendous, materialist, incurssion of the wedding registry phenomenon into the birth arena. There are people who even say bridal registries are tacky, but perhaps a necessity to save the MoB from answering a million questions about what the couple wants. I woudl tell them that you just are not comfortable with this and they should not feel that they need to get you anything. If they are insistent, you can always discretely tell your mother and have her pass it on.

[Anonymous]

If people are asking - just do it. Why not? Who cares if some random person/people thinks it's tacky? People want to get something for you that you want/need.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't register, but if they ask what the child needs, tell them:

donations to college fund
diapers
wipes
shoes for when he is walking - for some reason, I feel shoes should be new for each child
photo album and frames - these will come in handy
clothing - it would be nice to have a couple new things for the baby (and you can easily re-gift these)
new bottles, cups, etc.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem tacky if they're asking for the information and you're not offering it to anyone who doesn't ask. But if you don't want to register (and I can understand not wanting to), it could be helpful to have some general ideas. E.g., "So kind of you to ask. Of course, we're pretty well prepared because this is our second. But since this baby will be born in a different season, some summery clothes might be helpful." Or, "Thanks for the offer. We're pretty well set, but we always love good kids' books and music." Or whatever. Personally, if someone asks, I'd rather guide them than leave them to muddle through on their own.

We have several close relatives who like having specific gift ideas, and for them I've found it helpful to have an ongoing "wish list" for each kid (I did ours through Amazon, but I know there are other services out there). I keep them updated for birthdays and holidays, and the close relatives who want ideas know where to check.

[Anonymous]

If you don't need things, and don't feel comfortable registering, then certainly don't. You can give them ideas if they are looking for them (as others have mentioned). Be comfortable in your decisions and your instincts and stand up to what is essentially peer (or family) pressure. Isn't that what you will tell your kids as they grow up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think registering for baby things is tacky regardless of the which child it is. Its a horrendous, materialist, incurssion of the wedding registry phenomenon into the birth arena. There are people who even say bridal registries are tacky, but perhaps a necessity to save the MoB from answering a million questions about what the couple wants. I woudl tell them that you just are not comfortable with this and they should not feel that they need to get you anything. If they are insistent, you can always discretely tell your mother and have her pass it on.

So you did not register? Do you use registers when purchasing baby gifts?

[Anonymous]

Tacky, maybe. But go ahead and register, if someone asks, then tell them about the registry. Skip sending out a mass notification about the registry, that is definitely tacky. Just because it is a 2nd baby doesn't mean friends and family don't want to get him presents and a registry just makes life easier for people sometimes who don't have the time and energy to dedicate to baby gift shopping.

[Anonymous]

You can always create a "wish list" on Amazon.com as well. Forget about the tackiness issue. They are asking you what you want. You aren't forcing them into what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can always create a "wish list" on Amazon.com as well. Forget about the tackiness issue. They are asking you what you want. You aren't forcing them into what you want.

I thought about the wish list idea but I really don't find it any different than registering. I do not want the hassle of getting things I alrady have, having to return stuff or ending up with goofy things - and I am not being ungrateful, I am just tired and do not want do run around returning things. I know my good friends and family will buy regardless of a registry so DH thinks I should go ahead. I would never mass email out the info, so if they ask I will tell them I put a list together. Honestly there are maybe 2 things I need and another 6 I want (including frames, robeez and blankets). My BF insists this will help her and it's only tacky if you do it yourself expecting stuff.

I feel weird doing it but in the end it will save time for me and my friends/family. And time is impotant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think registering for baby things is tacky regardless of the which child it is. Its a horrendous, materialist, incurssion of the wedding registry phenomenon into the birth arena. There are people who even say bridal registries are tacky, but perhaps a necessity to save the MoB from answering a million questions about what the couple wants. I woudl tell them that you just are not comfortable with this and they should not feel that they need to get you anything. If they are insistent, you can always discretely tell your mother and have her pass it on.

So you did not register? Do you use registers when purchasing baby gifts?

No, I did not, and no, I dont ever check to see if anyone has one. I actually assume that most of my friends do not use them either. I know people I work with use them as I have heard them talk about "whta they want." I resisted using a bridal registry too (it just felt so materialistic and unnatural to me) but my mom, in principled agreement with me on this, asked that I just do it to save her the headache. I love her so I did but I found it very unenjoyable.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the honest answer PP. I have to say I have never run into someone with that strong of an opinion on registries. Where are you from? Are they not common there or is there some other reason you dislike them so much. Not being critical, just curious.

With technology things get easier and I do think they serve a purpose if used properly in this computer driven era.

[Anonymous]

It's tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's tacky.

Guess I'm a tacky, re-registering, 2nd baby havin' pregnant lady then! Good thing the people who want/insisted/requested the registry info are non-judgemental friends and family who love me!

[Anonymous]

I also registered, but I'm not spreading it around to anyone that I did. If anyone asks or seeks it out online, it's there and at least they'll know what I need instead of getting a lot of stuff that I can't use. And in a way, the registry is almost like my shopping list, if I think of something I need, I just add it on there. If no one gets me anything, I don't mind...