Teacher favorites?

[Anonymous]

My DC was so excited to do the 'meet the teacher' meeting at school.

During the very brief meeting I was very disappointed because the teacher would gush over some kids and not others. It typically tended to be the kids where the teacher had a sibling in prior years or knew the parents.

My DC left the session a bit dejected. The teacher was not mean or anything but her entire demeanor changed when a 'favorite' kid or family walked in the door. At those points she could not be bothered with the other kids and my DC just kind of sat there.

I am worried how this might play out during the year given how very apparent the preferences were during a very brief meet and greet. DC is our first and we do not have any 'comnections' to have known the teacher. We are not well known at the school.

Any advice or similar experiences? Will it fade once the teacher gets to know all the kids? I just don't want my kid to feel like they are less important/liked since the teacher is so influential in these early years.

Thanks for advice!

[Anonymous]

Teachers are human too. Being happy to see a nice family doesn't mean the teacher won't enjoy and value all that your child brings to the classroom. Try not to worry too much about this one.

[Anonymous]

Here's a positive spin...this teacher clearly has bonded with the classmates' siblings in earlier years and remembers them and quickly uses that bond for the younger sibling - sounds like a teacher that really connects with her students and shows them she cares. I think it's just a matter of time, waiting it out so she can bond with her current students...those she doesn't have an 'easy fallback' to use as the spark.

[Anonymous]

I suspect this is a reflection of shyness and awkwardness. The teacher felt more comfortable with these families.

[Anonymous]

This is slightly different, but hopefully comforting. My daughter is in a montessori classroom where kids stay for 3 years. Last year was her first year in the class and I recall feeling left out (for lack of a better word) at back to school night because the teacher was warmly greeting returning parents and using examples of some of the second and third year children by name. Over the course of the year, we got to know the teacher and our daughter bonded wiht the teacher. It was a fabulous year. Fast forward to this year, when we were a returning family, and the teacher warmly greeted us, used examples of our daughter during the discussion, etc.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say based on this description. If the teacher only came alive when a "favorite" walked in, that would be troubling. If there was an extra note of greeting or a little special mention of an older sibling, that's normal. And your child needs to wait a few weeks and see that he can be a favorite too. "Johnny" won't be a special favorite forever just because "Susie" is his sister.

[Anonymous]

You are trouble

[Anonymous]

Teacher was probably nervous and over-reacted upon seeing familiar/friendly faces. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

I think the teacher was just being polite to the families she knew and was not trying to come on too strong to new children. OP she doesn't know your child yet and the fact that she excitedly greeted (all?) children and families that she has a history with doesn't mean that they are "favorites." It was the first day, calm down.

[Anonymous]

WES??

[Anonymous]

It's not a good thing. Listen-up teachers, be professional.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound like the kind of parent who gets mad if another child is complemented. Sort of like it takes away from your child. It is unfair to draw any sort of conclusion on a teacher from a first meet and greet. You have to pull it together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WES??

LOL. You read my mind. I don't think teachers' children should be in the same school. It creates too much conflict and the teachers' kids go without any discipline because everyone is afraid to say anything to teachers' kids - especially when the other parent is on the board. Just creates too much favoritism.

[Anonymous]

Yes, there's that at WES too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like the kind of parent who gets mad if another child is complemented. Sort of like it takes away from your child. It is unfair to draw any sort of conclusion on a teacher from a first meet and greet. You have to pull it together.

Please-that is a silly comment to make. A teacher should make ALL students feel comfortable--including new ones.

It's not about feeling 'slighted' that other kids get complimented (and it's not about compliments). It's about wanting to make sure that ignoring/being less warm to the newer kids and being overly attentive and focused on a few ---in a way that is very apparent to young children-- is something that will fade over time....

Isn't the purpose of a 'meet and greet'-to spend time 'meeting' those you don't know and getting them comfortable with the environment as well as 'greeting' those you do know?

If the primary emphasis is on the latter without appreciation for the former it causes shy children to retreat further and have further anxiety about entering a new school the next day.

Time will tell if it was just a one off or not...hopefully it's just what many have said....that this will fade as the teacher gets to know the new kids....