Job affecting family

[Anonymous]

I'm a physician and I work part-time because I have young children. In general my practice is very understanding about that and I appreciate it. I have only been there less than a year so I am still developing some credibility with them. 2 issues came up today that I'm not sure how to handle. The first is that they just asked me to work on Halloween when I am normally off on Fridays. In the past I have sometimes said yes, sometimes said no when they asked me to work extra days. I don't mind working that day but the problem is that they don't just need me to work my regular hours but actually need me to work 2 hours longer which means I won't be home in time for trick or treating. Should I ask if I can work my normal hours instead if staying late?

The second issue is that they scheduled an evening talk with another doctor (that I had previously said I would be interested in) but they didn't give me much notice which means if I go I have to scramble for childcare. It also means I probably won't see my kids for 48 hrs because I leave in the morning before they get up and I won't be home until after they go to sleep. So I'm not sure what to do. My priority is always my family but I don't want to lose my job either.

[Anonymous]

Since it's just these two times, I would agree to do it to show you are a team player. It sounds like otherwise they are giving you lots of flexibility, which from what I understand is pretty rare for physicians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since it's just these two times, I would agree to do it to show you are a team player. It sounds like otherwise they are giving you lots of flexibility, which from what I understand is pretty rare for physicians.

This. It won't traumatized your kids to miss 1 Halloween with you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since it's just these two times, I would agree to do it to show you are a team player. It sounds like otherwise they are giving you lots of flexibility, which from what I understand is pretty rare for physicians.

This. It won't traumatized your kids to miss 1 Halloween with you

+1.

[Anonymous]

The new person always gets the closing shift, the extra grunt work, etc.

You need to just suck it up and do what's asked for you. Help grow the practice so they get so busy they have to hire another doctor and then you won't get the halloween shift. Your kids will live.

[Anonymous]

Suck it up and work halloween.

The night hours I would create some boundaries around. But sounds like it is a one time thing. Going forward just make clear when you can work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up and work halloween.

The night hours I would create some boundaries around. But sounds like it is a one time thing. Going forward just make clear when you can work.

In the long run, it sounds like it's better for your family for you to have stable, PT, flexible work than for you to be there on this one particular Halloween. Same goes for not seeing them for 48 hours: they'll live. Plenty of parents travel a lot, and while I'm not saying that's a great thing, missing one bedtime is, in the grand scheme of things, NBD.

All that said, establishing clear boundaries is important. I'd go this time, and then make clear in the future that evening hours won't work for you (if they truly won't).

I am ALL about flexible work, but I also think employees need to give a little here and there, too. Fostering good will goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

"Job affecting one bedtime" \=\ "Job affecting family. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since it's just these two times, I would agree to do it to show you are a team player. It sounds like otherwise they are giving you lots of flexibility, which from what I understand is pretty rare for physicians.

This. It won't traumatized your kids to miss 1 Halloween with you

+1

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the advice. I told them I would go to the evening dinner and that I could work on Halloween BUT I can't stay as late as they asked me to that day. It's not just a matter of my missing trick or treating but if I don't make it home none of my children get to go trick or treating either. I don't have anyone else to take them if I'm not there and that's just not fair to them.

[Anonymous]

OP, I take it you are a single mom without an involved ex. The fact of the matter is that you chose a profession that is not usually family friendly. Especially as family friendly as you want. Time to build up your support system with other single moms or whatever. This stuff is going to come up given your field, and while your employer sounds pretty reasonable, that won't last forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the advice. I told them I would go to the evening dinner and that I could work on Halloween BUT I can't stay as late as they asked me to that day. It's not just a matter of my missing trick or treating but if I don't make it home none of my children get to go trick or treating either. I don't have anyone else to take them if I'm not there and that's just not fair to them.

Did you have to tell them? Why not just be on call?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I take it you are a single mom without an involved ex. The fact of the matter is that you chose a profession that is not usually family friendly. Especially as family friendly as you want. Time to build up your support system with other single moms or whatever. This stuff is going to come up given your field, and while your employer sounds pretty reasonable, that won't last forever.

Is that true, OP? Are you a single mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since it's just these two times, I would agree to do it to show you are a team player. It sounds like otherwise they are giving you lots of flexibility, which from what I understand is pretty rare for physicians.

This. It won't traumatized your kids to miss 1 Halloween with you

+1.

+2. I travel 6-8 times a year for work and yet somehow my family is still intact. A few instances here and there are a very small price to pay for a flexible job that you enjoy.

[Anonymous]

OP. I think you are EXTREMELY lucky to have a job like this one. Did you just start working? I ask because I can't believe this is the first time you faced issues like this- they seem really minor compared to what most professionals face in terms of balance. I say that not to be harsh, but to say your reality is kind of amazing and to appreviate it.