so tired of very limited range of foods my kids will eat....

[Anonymous]

and I feel like I (we) are at fault. I have a 2 and 4 year old, the 2 year old allergic to soy, nuts, fwiw. For a variety of uninteresting reasons, the past 2 years have been very difficult for me, time wise, and I haven't been making the kinds of meals I'd like and the only thing DH cooks is hot dogs and pasta and for 2 years their meals were very plain: pasta, broccoli, fruit; turkey burgers and beans; rice and beans, roast chicken; pizza or simple fish. Very little in the way of casseroles, of anything with a sauce (mushroom sauce, curry, etc), no lasagna, no eggplant parmesan, no sautéed chicken with mushrooms, etc. AND NO SOUP. I love soup, love making a big pot and they always say "yuck" whether its butternut squash, or lentil, etc. My 2 year old is far pickier than my 4 year old, but they both are picky. A lot of "kid friendly" food is even off limits, too---Neither will eat hummus, one refuses yogurt too.

Lately, as my life has returned to normal, or a new normal, I've tried to expand our culinary horizons again, but it seems like its too late. As a result, I feel like either I spend my time cooking a meal and the kids complain and don't eat it (they will eat the part of the meal they will eat, like fruit and milk), or I make something I know they'll eat. I hate the dinnertime battles, hate being the only one who feels responsible for making our kids more adventurous eaters, hate being the only one to cook dinner, hate feeling like it is my fault, and it probably is (in the absence of anyone else giving a shit) that my kids both eat very little variety and have poor table manners (another issue).

neither will eat curry (mild), cooked vegetables in any kind of casserole, any kind of interesting sauce (enchiladas, for example) or chicken with any kind of spice; most kinds of fish except panko-coated fried mild white fish;

Is it too late? Have I catered too much to their whims or will persistence pay off? I've been trying to mix up familiar dinners with new things, with very little success. any suggestions? I do try to get them involved in cooking too, when I can. My son helped me make soup, took one bite and refused more.

[Anonymous]

Soup? Give them goldfish to dunk in the soup. Serve it in a coffee mug and let them drink it. Or serve it in a bread bowl that they can tear apart and eat with their fingers. Make if from scratch and let them throw in the ingredients. Get fun shaped pasta like star pasta or alphabet pasta. Do tomato bisque and tell them you are making ketchup soup (I assume they like ketchup?)

In the process of playing with the soup, they will eventually start eating it.

Don't offer them an alternative food if they don't want to eat it.

Don't make it a battle either. They will win.

[Anonymous]

You need to take control over this. Don't let them act badly at the table. Don't cook them what they want. Serve them what you cook. They will eat eventually. Your giving in to them and catering to them has created the situation. Now you need to turn it around.

[Anonymous]

I'm perfectly fine with my kids not eating much for a meal. They'll eat when they get hungry, and they will eat what we have prepared for them. Trying to involve them in the cooking sometimes helps.

[Anonymous]

No, it's not too late, OP, but it's an effort that has to involve everyone. Kudos to you for realizing what's going on and for wanting to make it better.

You'd be surprised how simple it is to get children to eat. No kids' menus, you're implying that there's something wrong or unacceptable in what the adults eat. There really shouldn't be a divide there. No "oh, but my child is picky". I dislike that word, as I've always felt that it's a thinly veiled put-down of other children who are then -what, garbage disposals with no discernment? And why would you think of disguising greens or whatever vegetables you wish to feed your child in, let's say, pasta sauce or bread, so they won't know it's there? It's the adult's thinking that's wrong. An eggplant is an eggplant, you show them what it is and how it's eaten. Don't trick you kids, but model what you preach. Don't buy overpriced organic "peach snacks", show them a peach, peel it and eat it.

Of course, one must allow for intolerances and allergies, but short of medical issues it's one meal that everyone eats. If they don't want to eat it, they're not hungry, but they must know that there won't be any snacks to fall back on. Raise meal eaters, not snackers. PP was right, don't make it a battle, as they will win; serve it and let them watch you and DH eat it, it needs to become a new normal. Hope this helps!

[Anonymous]

Definitely not too late. Here's what I would do in your case:

Make what you want to make for dinner. Everyone needs to try a bite and is allowed to say 'no thank you' after that, but no going on about how things are disgusting (they can leave the table and missed the rest of the meal; won't kill them and will only have to happen a couple times). Beyond that though, no pressuring or commentary from you to eat more and as much as possible, try to take the long view and not let it bother you that they are rejecting what you spent making that night.

Try to have something at dinner that is somewhat except able to them (served grilled cheese with your soup?) but don't make them a different meal. I get complimented all the time on my kids eating, but I do make some accommodation for them: just a touch of offending sauce on their pasta, a less spicy filling in empanadas, they get to skip the cabbage and salsa on fish taco night, stir fries with ingredients more seperated on their plates etc. We all get a 'side salad', but one kid skips the lettuce. We started family dinners when my 5 year old was 2 with this approach and he went from super picky to pretty adventurous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm perfectly fine with my kids not eating much for a meal. They'll eat when they get hungry, and they will eat what we have prepared for them. Trying to involve them in the cooking sometimes helps.

+1 today's dinner can be tomorrow's lunch. We don't throw out leftovers. My kids rarely say they don't like something (2 and 4). When they do it is because its too spicy or its probably a texture issue. If they can tell me what they don't like and it makes sense, then I let it go. Otherwise they will see it on their plate in some form the next day.

[Anonymous]

Not too late! My oldest became a better eater at 4 and my younger is just now 4 and coming out of his picky eating. Helped you make soup and only had one bite? Congratulate him on having that bite and trying it!! Get him to keep trying and don't be dissapointed if he doesn't like it. That puts pressure on them and that's where the battle starts. We make a small side salad every night. At first we didn't push it, it was there if they wanted. Then as they got older if we had something like bread on the table (they would happily fill up on bread alone) we would give them a slice and if they wanted more we might say "okay, have the peppers on your salad" and if they complained we would say you had some bread already, if you want more then you have to fill up with healthy food too. Last night we had a busy night so we had frozen pizza and salad for dinner and I swear they both went for the salad first without our promoting

Stick to it. Give them choices but limit the choices.

[Anonymous]

I understand you. I watched with baited breath, afraid to say anything, when my 5 year old cautiously tried the cilantro lime rice the other day at Chipotle and didn't say "THAT IS YUCKY."

[Anonymous]

I so emphathize with you over this that I am going to take my 10 minutes when the newborn is finally asleep to give you some tips that have worked for me and my 2 and 4 year olds! I LOVE to cook and try new recipes, so having picky eaters is not an option for me, even though I have two kids who will complain about almost anything I put in front of them. I SAH and have the time to plan recipes and cook a variety of foods, and yet my kids are still picky. Point it, don't beat yourself up over the past two years--sometimes you can do everything "right" and still get kids who don't want to eat a casserole.

To get them to eat more veggies, I put out dishes of raw veggies while I make dinner. No comment to the kids about them--just put them on the counter. My kids always want to be in the kitchen when I'm in the kitchen, and they generally start begging for food. If I say NOTHING about the veggies, 9/10 times they will just start eating them because they are bored. If I harass them to eat the vegetables, they will eat none of them.

Here are some recipes that I was surprised my kids liked. They are all a riff on the standard kid fare, but they provide more variety and offer you a chance to spice them differently for adults, add more vegetables and proteins over time, etc.

http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-crunchy-black-bean-tacos-cookbook-recipe-from-love-your-leftovers-202861 (I don't follow this exactly. I take 2 cans of black beans, dump into a pan with their liquid, add cumin, smoked paprika, and salt, and cook until the liquid reduces a bit. Then I smash them up with a potato masher. You can also add a small can of diced tomatoes to this--they will never know it's in there. You can also add diced chicken or other proteins to this, grate in different vegetables--zucchini, carrots disappear into this--etc. You could also bake these in the oven for less fat, but we eat them fried on the stove--not afraid of fat, especially with kids who are picky eaters.)

http://www.food.com/recipe/ww-turkey-and-cheddar-burgers-7-points-402689 (My kids have no idea there is zucchini in these.)

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/soy-hoisin-chicken-thighs-50400000131792/ (Chicken thighs in any sort of sweet, Asian sauce are a hit with my kids.)

http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-grilled-halloumi-and-quinoa-saladrecipes-from-the-kitchn-168027 (If your kids like cheese, this will be a hit. Mine reject quinoa, so I serve this with couscous or rice and chopped raw veggies or steamed broccoli for them while DH and I eat a more interesting salad base.)

http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-white-chicken-chili-114789 (My 4 year old loves this and he HATES soup. I serve it with Trader Joe's organic "fritos," which I think is part of the appeal for him. He's allow to dip them into the chili but the chips go away if he's not using them to eat the chili.)

http://www.splendidtable.org/recipes/ultimate-cheater-pulled-pork (If your kids will eat pulled pork, this is a really easy recipe. I serve it with different types of slaw for me and DH and the usual raw veggies for the kids. This freezes beautifully and can be added to tacos, etc for other meals later in the week. My kids usually just want to eat it plain on a bun, but DH and I can then have other more interesting meals later in the week--it's good over sushi rice with cucumber, carrots, etc in a sort of Asian rice bowl.)



GOOD LUCK!! Meal planning and cooking used to be such a pleasure for me. Having kids who hate most of what I want to cook is a bummer, but I keep trying new things and occasionally stumble upon keepers that make us all happy. I also let them see me and DH eating a variety of food, even if what I serve the kids is a striped down version of that variety. Sometimes, they want to eat what we're eating and it gets them to try something new. Note that I never cook a separate kids's meal.... Also, for soup, try doing a chunky soup and then straining out the chunks and only serving the kids the chunks (no broth). That sometimes works for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I so emphathize with you over this that I am going to take my 10 minutes when the newborn is finally asleep to give you some tips that have worked for me and my 2 and 4 year olds! I LOVE to cook and try new recipes, so having picky eaters is not an option for me, even though I have two kids who will complain about almost anything I put in front of them. I SAH and have the time to plan recipes and cook a variety of foods, and yet my kids are still picky. Point it, don't beat yourself up over the past two years--sometimes you can do everything "right" and still get kids who don't want to eat a casserole.

To get them to eat more veggies, I put out dishes of raw veggies while I make dinner. No comment to the kids about them--just put them on the counter. My kids always want to be in the kitchen when I'm in the kitchen, and they generally start begging for food. If I say NOTHING about the veggies, 9/10 times they will just start eating them because they are bored. If I harass them to eat the vegetables, they will eat none of them.

Here are some recipes that I was surprised my kids liked. They are all a riff on the standard kid fare, but they provide more variety and offer you a chance to spice them differently for adults, add more vegetables and proteins over time, etc.

http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-crunchy-black-bean-tacos-cookbook-recipe-from-love-your-leftovers-202861 (I don't follow this exactly. I take 2 cans of black beans, dump into a pan with their liquid, add cumin, smoked paprika, and salt, and cook until the liquid reduces a bit. Then I smash them up with a potato masher. You can also add a small can of diced tomatoes to this--they will never know it's in there. You can also add diced chicken or other proteins to this, grate in different vegetables--zucchini, carrots disappear into this--etc. You could also bake these in the oven for less fat, but we eat them fried on the stove--not afraid of fat, especially with kids who are picky eaters.)

http://www.food.com/recipe/ww-turkey-and-cheddar-burgers-7-points-402689 (My kids have no idea there is zucchini in these.)

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/soy-hoisin-chicken-thighs-50400000131792/ (Chicken thighs in any sort of sweet, Asian sauce are a hit with my kids.)

http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-grilled-halloumi-and-quinoa-saladrecipes-from-the-kitchn-168027 (If your kids like cheese, this will be a hit. Mine reject quinoa, so I serve this with couscous or rice and chopped raw veggies or steamed broccoli for them while DH and I eat a more interesting salad base.)

http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-white-chicken-chili-114789 (My 4 year old loves this and he HATES soup. I serve it with Trader Joe's organic "fritos," which I think is part of the appeal for him. He's allow to dip them into the chili but the chips go away if he's not using them to eat the chili.)

http://www.splendidtable.org/recipes/ultimate-cheater-pulled-pork (If your kids will eat pulled pork, this is a really easy recipe. I serve it with different types of slaw for me and DH and the usual raw veggies for the kids. This freezes beautifully and can be added to tacos, etc for other meals later in the week. My kids usually just want to eat it plain on a bun, but DH and I can then have other more interesting meals later in the week--it's good over sushi rice with cucumber, carrots, etc in a sort of Asian rice bowl.)



GOOD LUCK!! Meal planning and cooking used to be such a pleasure for me. Having kids who hate most of what I want to cook is a bummer, but I keep trying new things and occasionally stumble upon keepers that make us all happy. I also let them see me and DH eating a variety of food, even if what I serve the kids is a striped down version of that variety. Sometimes, they want to eat what we're eating and it gets them to try something new. Note that I never cook a separate kids's meal.... Also, for soup, try doing a chunky soup and then straining out the chunks and only serving the kids the chunks (no broth). That sometimes works for me.

^^Also, I rarely use Cream of ___ Soups, but that chili recipe was something a friend made when I was sick last year, and my son loved it so I compromise and keep making it. I use a Cream of Chicken soup from Whole Foods, but you could probably substitute something else for the condensed soup.

[Anonymous]

As an adult picky eater:

1. Your kids don't want to be this way
2. They can't help being this way. They're not doing it to make your life difficult.
3. Throughout life their tastes will change.

I'm about as picky as your kids. The only soups I like are broth based.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an adult picky eater:

1. Your kids don't want to be this way
2. They can't help being this way. They're not doing it to make your life difficult.
3. Throughout life their tastes will change.

I'm about as picky as your kids. The only soups I like are broth based.

I was a kid who had a hard time eating a variety of foods so that has made me very empathetic to my picky kids. I eat a wide variety of foods now but still am sensitive to textures and don't like very spicy foods. With the kids, we're working on increasing variety but with understanding. I highly suggest reading some of Ellyn Satter's books on feeding. I've found them very helpful. I've pretty much followed her recommendations. Our typical rules...

Breakfast and lunch the kids typically eat what they like, choosing from a variety of healthful options -- whole grain cereals or waffles for breakfast, sandwiches or hard boiled eggs for lunch, with milk and fruit required.
Minimal snacks
Dinner I make ONE meal but nobody is forced to eat what I make. There is always fruit and a bread/rice/pasta as part of the meal so they can eat that if nothing else. I serve a lot of things "deconstructed." We rarely serve dessert so there is no "you must eat x amount of dinner before you can have dessert."
We talk a lot about how your tongue changes as you grow up so it's important to taste lots of different things and to know that just because you didn't like something last month doesn't mean you won't like it now.

It requires lots of patience and persistence to keep going day after day. It's frustrating when a lot of the simplistic recommendations for picky kids don't work -- my kids help cook, work in the garden, pick out food at the store. At 2 and 4 they were happy to do that but still wouldn't eat it. You can do everything "right" and still have kids with very limited palates. A lot of it is genetics. Good news, despite my kids' limited diets they've always tracked right on their growth curves so apparently they are getting the nutrition they need.

Eventually, it has gotten better for us. DS is now 11 and FINALLY starting to be more adventurous. He actually ate salad this week without our saying anything. And, he now likes spicy chili, something he never would have touched a year ago. He recently commented that I've gotten better at cooking LOL... I pointed out that I'm cooking the same as ever but his tongue is finally growing up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand you. I watched with baited breath, afraid to say anything, when my 5 year old cautiously tried the cilantro lime rice the other day at Chipotle and didn't say "THAT IS YUCKY."

Good on you for knowing your child and not calling attention to him. I was a picky eater (and still am, frankly, but as the person in charge of food, I get to make whatever I like) and while I was legitimately picky about textural issues, I had built a large part of my persona around being fussy and I really dug my heels in. I wanted to try new foods but just didn't feel like I could do it without compromising who I was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and I feel like I (we) are at fault. I have a 2 and 4 year old, the 2 year old allergic to soy, nuts, fwiw. For a variety of uninteresting reasons, the past 2 years have been very difficult for me, time wise, and I haven't been making the kinds of meals I'd like and the only thing DH cooks is hot dogs and pasta and for 2 years their meals were very plain: pasta, broccoli, fruit; turkey burgers and beans; rice and beans, roast chicken; pizza or simple fish. Very little in the way of casseroles, of anything with a sauce (mushroom sauce, curry, etc), no lasagna, no eggplant parmesan, no sautéed chicken with mushrooms, etc. AND NO SOUP. I love soup, love making a big pot and they always say "yuck" whether its butternut squash, or lentil, etc. My 2 year old is far pickier than my 4 year old, but they both are picky. A lot of "kid friendly" food is even off limits, too---Neither will eat hummus, one refuses yogurt too.

Lately, as my life has returned to normal, or a new normal, I've tried to expand our culinary horizons again, but it seems like its too late. As a result, I feel like either I spend my time cooking a meal and the kids complain and don't eat it (they will eat the part of the meal they will eat, like fruit and milk), or I make something I know they'll eat. I hate the dinnertime battles, hate being the only one who feels responsible for making our kids more adventurous eaters, hate being the only one to cook dinner, hate feeling like it is my fault, and it probably is (in the absence of anyone else giving a shit) that my kids both eat very little variety and have poor table manners (another issue).

neither will eat curry (mild), cooked vegetables in any kind of casserole, any kind of interesting sauce (enchiladas, for example) or chicken with any kind of spice; most kinds of fish except panko-coated fried mild white fish;

Is it too late? Have I catered too much to their whims or will persistence pay off? I've been trying to mix up familiar dinners with new things, with very little success. any suggestions? I do try to get them involved in cooking too, when I can. My son helped me make soup, took one bite and refused more.

OP, just wanted to say that the foods you named that I bolded above are pretty good and not junk! I get the frustration with the limited diet, but keep trying and maybe one day they'll get there. At least they aren't living off frozen nuggets.