Buffet etiquette with kids
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Anonymous
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A vent I guess. Your comment might improve my response. My guideline with the two boys is take what you want but eat what you take. Don't take too much, you can go back. So, on a trip to visit relatives the older one (young teen) doesn't eat half a plate of food (took a lot of new things he didn't like), younger one doesn't eat two bites. I tell the older one he should not have taken a lot of new things without trying them first. Older one criticizes me for not coming down equally on younger one for eating two bites, I say two bites is not nearly as bad as half a plate, but, yes, we should eat what we take.
So, I'm the bad guy to the older one. I'm a dad (DW had to work) and no doubt could have handled it better but not sure how. Teen still annoyed and I'm hoping to salvage the next few days of the trip as we're seeing relatives we don't see but once a year. If I were in DC I'd go right home. Part of it may be teen drama as he is normally passive and easygoing and may just be ramping his acting up to normal. One thing I hate more than disrespect to me is disrespect to a hardworking small business, in this case a family run restaurant, and wasting their food is disrespectful. |
Anonymous
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You sound annoying.
One kid took a lot of new items and didn't like them so he didn't eat them. You told him to try the new foods before putting on his plate. How is he supposed to do that? You can't just bring your fork up and take bites. Who cares that he didn't eat the food he didn't like? Now he won't take them on his next trip to the buffet. One kid didn't eat two bites off his plate. Really?? It seems like you have some issues regarding food. I really doubt you are truly concerned with your children disrespecting small businesses. |
Anonymous
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When I get stuck in an issue, I find doing the opposite of how I feel really helps. So my advice to you is ...
Turn around and apologize to your teen son and tell him you're actually very proud of him for wanting to try new things (and that really is great). He's already got the message about not taking too much, now, so let it go. He won't do it again. Your relationships with him is far more important than a bit of wasted food. You'll regret this when he's up and moved away from you (pretty soon). |
Anonymous
| BTW, I thought your post was going to be about kids touching the food and/or cross-contaminating. I saw two boys stick their hands in the bowl of muffins the other day, ignoring the tongs that were provided. Now that is FAR worse etiquette. |
Anonymous
On this my suggestion to him would be to take one of an item and try it instead of taking three and deciding he doesn't like it. On other suggestions for responding, I appreciate them. |
Anonymous
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don't go to buffets and businesses want your money, they could care less if you eat. In fact, they'd much rather take your money and have you just leave.
you have issues. |
Anonymous
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I think you showed disrespect for your teen. He may have been feeling proud of himself for begin a big guy and trying new things and you chided him like a toddler for not clearing his plate. He's more than old enough to be responsible for his own food regulation. It might have worked better to praise him for being adventurous and mention (later) that when you try something new in a buffet situation, you might put just a taste on the plate in case you don't like it, and if you do go back for more. I know that is already your rule, but I'm gong to bet that for your DC, he was more focused on trying something new than remembering the old rules. Look for the good first!
I agree the apology approach with praise for trying something new would probably go a long way to building an adult bond between you. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Fair enough. I just apologized. |
Anonymous
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I'm not one for wasting food either, but seriously, you are way overboard on this. I would never force my kids to finish food because they mistakenly thought they could eat as much as they took. It's a mistake and mistakes like this don't need to be punished. And, when better to try new foods besides at a buffet. Kudos to your son.
As for salvaging your trip, just apologize and move on. |
Anonymous
This is hysterical! So true and I would never have seen it this way. OP, next time teach your kid something. Say, 'Try a small portion of new items first to see if you like them." It's not too late to say this now. Say, "Look, I'm sorry if I came down hard on you at the buffet. It's not that big of a deal. Next time just put a bite or two of each new food on your plate so you can find out if you like it. You acn always go back for more if you do. We'll go again this evening so please remember that." Or something along those lines. Bring it back down to earth -- it really is not that big of a deal. |
Anonymous
| Who notices how many bites someone does or doesn't eat? Bizarre. |
Anonymous
Are you saying the younger one should have eaten those last two bites? He should have stuffed himself past the point of comfort or what he needed in order to clean his plate? I can see it if you have a kid who routinely takes far more than he's going to eat and so lots of food is going to waste, but that's not what happened here. You should be glad that your younger child is listening to his hunger cues and only eating what he needs rather than creating a bunch of eating issues by forcing him to overeat. If you never leave a bite or two uneaten on your plate, I suspect you have some substantial weight issues yourself. |
Anonymous
| Don't make your kids clear their plates. I come from a fat family and had to always clear my plates. Even today I have to eat everything on my plate and I hate it. Let kids stop when they're full and they'll realize it better. |
Anonymous
Well done! |
Anonymous
Getting bread from a bread bowl. Yeah, we adults always use those tongs that come with the baskets and an Italian restaurant. I think you'll survive. How do you think that bread got there in the first place? |