How to deal with spouse's complaints about his/her job?

[Anonymous]

DH is very stressful with his job. According to him, there are a lot of BS going on with his company since it is bought out by another group.
They treat his job (the team) like crap and things that have been changed to make his work harder / more works.
People is quitting the jobs and they can't hire people fast enough. He (the team) is pushed to cover work from those that quit.
None or minimum raise that last 3 years.

I want to be supportive but I am tired to hear the same thing again and again. On top of that I have stress from other things and I don't even have time to do anything for myself since DD is born. I am at very top of my stress level as well.
Anyone here experience this? What did you do or say?
TIA

[Anonymous]

Do you work, OP? Answers depend on that. Of he is under pressure to be the sole breadwinner, it matters.

[Anonymous]

The better his non-work is like, the better he'll feel. The more he can leave work at work, the better. Sometimes venting helps, but sometimes it isn't cathartic. Maybe he can get his resume updated and look around to see what jobs are out there.

[Anonymous]

*non-work life

[Anonymous]

OP I am in the same boat with my H. Same complaints over and over. Yes, he has applied fr other job and had interviews but no offers. I have encouraged him to get certifications and designations to help him get another job in his field, and told him I am happy to pick up the kid slack so he an study in the evenings or weekends. He's done nothing and continues to bitch and moan. I am sick of it; yes I work FT also.

[Anonymous]

Oh that sucks.
Ugh that sounds terrible.
Wow,I'm really sorry you have to deal with that.

Just lather, rinse, repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh that sucks.
Ugh that sounds terrible.
Wow,I'm really sorry you have to deal with that.

Just lather, rinse, repeat.

+1

[Anonymous]

Same boat.

Same shit from DH every damn day. Sucks. It's so negative and depressing. I don't want to shut him down but sometimes I feel like he just drags me down with him, which doesn't help anything. Yes, he's job searching, but not nearly as aggressively as I would like, and it drives me nuts.

Sometimes i try soemthing like "ok, we can talk about work for 5 more minutes, and then we're done."

[Anonymous]

Well, you could tell him to man-up, grow some balls, and stop crying like a little pussy.

I doubt you'll hear him complaining all that often after that.
But then you may have other consequences to deal with.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I worked FT too. He has been complaining for 6 months. I told him if he need consultant to figure out what he wants to do or any kinds of questions, we have a free consultant service about almost every thing from my company's benefit program but he didn't do anything.
He is thinking of going back to school to be apprenticeship electrician in January so I told him to make up his mind and hang in his job to save up some $$ before quitting. And now I have more stress thinking that how we will be surviving on 1 income.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain. I have been telling my DH to care a lot less about his company and pointed out he doesn't need to feel so 'loyal' to them and work so hard, when they treat him like crap and so on. Have also encouraged him to apply elsewhere if he's miserable.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you. Get yourself sorted first and when your time frees up, here are a few things I do to help keep the peace. btw DH is the sole earner in our family which I do think makes a huge difference I stress levels for him.

I'm always looking for an escape plan on his behalf. I'll look for jobs, research new cities to live in, and we'll discuss. It gives him a glimmer of hope that there may be a way out even if we never act on it.

I plan great vacations to destinations he really wants to visit...and the rest of us too...so his time off really rejuvenates him.

I try to make sure he gets balance elsewhere, good food, time for exercise and time with friends here and there.

Sex and BJs help a lot too.

[Anonymous]

My husband had this issue. I told him that I was happy to let him vent if it made him feel better, if (1) he waited for me to ask about work (and I promised to ask), (2) limited the amount of time venting, and (3) was taking steps to improve the situation (looking for new job, etc.) This allowed me to be in a good frame of mind to listen, rather than having it dumped on me at a bad time or right when I walked in the door, and I knew that it would only be once a day and for no more than a few minutes every day, and that he was not just complaining but doing something about it, even if it took a long time to fix. He agreed that this was reasonable and its how we handle it. He gets to vent, but our evenings aren't taken over by it.