Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jake and Molly

that you were too lazy to come up with real names, so you used the ones you gave to your pets in elementary school.

Funny, when I look back on my childhood pet names, I see a real lack of imagination. I mean, I had a dog named Toto and a fish named Goldie. I thought I was doing slightly better with the kids' names. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS - Atticus

Trying too hard to hide the fact that one or both of you was in the Greek system in college. Faux hipsters.

Are you JSC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Katherine (Katie)
Alexander (Alex)
Elizabeth (Lizzie)

You live in Bethesda or Kensington in a four bedroom house, kids all play sports, you drive a minivan and have a lab or golden retriever.

We do love sports and labs!

I was thinking these names had swim team written all over them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:John Paul
Marianna
Christian

Opus Dei

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Liat and Sarai

Jewish. Spent your junior year of college in Israel and secretly look down on people who give their kids more obvious biblical names like Rebecca and Joshua. Belong to a Conservative synagogue, but rarely attend. Live in NWDC of Montgomery County. Drive a Subaru. Have wifi at home.

Who doesn't? It's 2013.

I have friends who refuse to get wifi due to unproven health risks. They also won't hold cellphones next to theirs heads. Use headsets instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:John Paul
Marianna
Christian

You met your husband at a Catholic College/University where you were both students. You homeschool your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seraphine (Sera)
Amelia

You looked high and wide for a girl's name taken from an artist, and Seraphine Louis was the best you could do. You really would have preferred it if some women artists had better names. You flirted with "Georgia," and "Freda," but didn't really like them. You secretly wish you had heard of this artist before searching out her name, rather than the other way around.

Given your disappointment, you put less effort into DD#2, who you named after Amelia Earhart, or possibly after the title character in Amelie.

Ok, pp, now you're just being brilliant. I really think you sound like a manic/depressive who has stopped taking her lithium--and you are rapid cycling into an ever more hilarious mania. Unfortunately, your kids haven't eaten for hours and your impish 6 year old is flooding your basement with a garden hose while you post prose better suited to the New Yorker's Shouts and Murmurs than DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seraphine (Sera)
Amelia

You looked high and wide for a girl's name taken from an artist, and Seraphine Louis was the best you could do. You really would have preferred it if some women artists had better names. You flirted with "Georgia," and "Freda," but didn't really like them. You secretly wish you had heard of this artist before searching out her name, rather than the other way around.

Given your disappointment, you put less effort into DD#2, who you named after Amelia Earhart, or possibly after the title character in Amelie.

Ok, pp, now you're just being brilliant. I really think you sound like a manic/depressive who has stopped taking her lithium--and you are rapid cycling into an ever more hilarious mania. Unfortunately, your kids haven't eaten for hours and your impish 6 year old is flooding your basement with a garden hose while you post prose better suited to the New Yorker's Shouts and Murmurs than DCUM.

You're both so good! Keep going!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kendall
Drake

DW is very superficial and was using product in her kids' hair without DH knowing about it. Kendall is always more dressed up than every other kid at birthday parties. She will rebel a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seraphine (Sera)
Amelia

You looked high and wide for a girl's name taken from an artist, and Seraphine Louis was the best you could do. You really would have preferred it if some women artists had better names. You flirted with "Georgia," and "Freda," but didn't really like them. You secretly wish you had heard of this artist before searching out her name, rather than the other way around.

Given your disappointment, you put less effort into DD#2, who you named after Amelia Earhart, or possibly after the title character in Amelie.

Ok, pp, now you're just being brilliant. I really think you sound like a manic/depressive who has stopped taking her lithium--and you are rapid cycling into an ever more hilarious mania. Unfortunately, your kids haven't eaten for hours and your impish 6 year old is flooding your basement with a garden hose while you post prose better suited to the New Yorker's Shouts and Murmurs than DCUM.

You're both so good! Keep going!

BTW, is one of you the DCUM abstractor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elliot.

English major.

No, for an English major it would be Eliot.

[Anonymous]

Alexander and Elyse
Zachary and Joshua

[Anonymous]

Lev
Isaac
Kaia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Madison

You grew up in Omaha and went to public school. After college (Go Cornhuskers!) you got a job as a flight attendant. You met DH when he was flying first-class NY to London. You had hoped to meet an investment banker, but -- alas -- he's in commercial real estate. You play a lot of tennis, swear like a sailor and drink like a fish. Your son is named Huntington, but you didn't post that because it would out you among your DCUM friends at Bethesda Country Club.

If you had not put the "gone to public school" I would have totally disagreed with the omaha assumption.

Should I have said Catholic school . . . or a country day kind of place? I don't know Omaha at all, just wanted that flyover feeling.

[Anonymous]

Eva (we aren't latino ie Eva Longoria)