Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

My husband was 40 when we adopted our first, I was 40 when we adopted our 2nd. We are in our mid 50's now and the girls are low maintenance teenagers. They have added tremendous love and joy to our lives. I wouldn't do a thing differently. Because, since we adopted, if we had done it earlier, we wouldn't have ended up with the children we did and I can't even bear the thought of that. We have traveled internationally to many diverse countries and live an active lifestyle. The girls haven't held us back from anything we wanted to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was 40 when we adopted our first, I was 40 when we adopted our 2nd. We are in our mid 50's now and the girls are low maintenance teenagers. They have added tremendous love and joy to our lives. I wouldn't do a thing differently. Because, since we adopted, if we had done it earlier, we wouldn't have ended up with the children we did and I can't even bear the thought of that. We have traveled internationally to many diverse countries and live an active lifestyle. The girls haven't held us back from anything we wanted to do.

plus 1. i adopted a newborn as a single 46 year old. Having waited has made parenthood that much sweeter....

[Anonymous]

I don't understand all the negative and mean comments on this thread. Having children is a blessing that you cannot plan. You may get lucky in having children at the age you want who are healthy and thriving, but that's all it is...luck.

[Anonymous]

i am 47 and I have two kids under 10. These I can manage and I am very happy with.

Recently I had a pregnancy scare - it was only a false alarm to do with needing to go on the pill and the effects of that.

However, I realized that while a 3rd would be a wonderful blessing and I know I could cope with the pregnancy and all that brings (my pregnancies in my 30s brought carpal tunnel, pneumonia and burst ear-drums but hey its all minor and mended).

But I did realize that I didn't want to be 50 and dealing with a 2 to 3 year old climbing into bed with me and disturbing my night's sleep because without a decent sleep I literally cannot function like a normal human being.

So it didn't happen and I'm ok with that. I think if I were 41 it would be fine and for everyone its different. My end age personally was probably 44.

[Anonymous]

We adopted when I was 38 and 40. Our two girls are now teenagers and doing great. I retired a little early, and my husband plans to retire in a year or two (before he is 60). We still go on adventures with our kids - we went river rafting last summer for our 14 year old's birthday. They don't care one bit that we are a little bit older than the average parent. I am active in the adoption community and their are parents who are adopting in their fifties! Not for me, I don't have that much energy now, but I think 40 is not too old at all.

[Anonymous]

Had my daughter at 41. She is 4 now. I do sometimes feel like I'm too old to have a kid her age. It can be done but it is more tiring and you feel old compared to other moms. There would be a void if I didn't have her though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had my daughter at 41. She is 4 now. I do sometimes feel like I'm too old to have a kid her age. It can be done but it is more tiring and you feel old compared to other moms. There would be a void if I didn't have her though.

You will be more patient than the younger mothers. Don't forget that, and patience is golden when it comes to raising children.

[Anonymous]

Too old at 41? So many variables.

My cousin had her first at 19. Divorced. Remarried at 38 and pregnant again at 39. Grandmother at age 50. Now she's an empty nester at 53. Time seems to fly and my cousin didn't seem like an older mom the second time around.

I'm 45 and my oldest is 17. I can't imagine having a newborn right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the negative and mean comments on this thread. Having children is a blessing that you cannot plan. You may get lucky in having children at the age you want who are healthy and thriving, but that's all it is...luck.

OP asked for opinions, not rubberstamp validation. She got opinions both ways.

At 41, you are old enough to be a grandmother or soon will be. You are too old to deliberately have a baby. My parents were both dead before they turned sixty. If you have a child at 41, you are almost certainly not going to live long enough to help with your grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the negative and mean comments on this thread. Having children is a blessing that you cannot plan. You may get lucky in having children at the age you want who are healthy and thriving, but that's all it is...luck.

OP asked for opinions, not rubberstamp validation. She got opinions both ways.

At 41, you are old enough to be a grandmother or soon will be. You are too old to deliberately have a baby. My parents were both dead before they turned sixty. If you have a child at 41, you are almost certainly not going to live long enough to help with your grandchildren.

Then you have either bad luck or bad genes, which has colored your perspective.

[Anonymous]

No. Go for it!!!! I had my first at 44 and met a neighbor who tried for years and had a surprise at 48. Be aware, though, that it will take a lot more out of your body than a pregnancy at 24, and make birth plans etc with that in mind. it took a lot out of me, and that surprised me a lot. I love being a mother more than anything else I have ever done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the negative and mean comments on this thread. Having children is a blessing that you cannot plan. You may get lucky in having children at the age you want who are healthy and thriving, but that's all it is...luck.

OP asked for opinions, not rubberstamp validation. She got opinions both ways.

At 41, you are old enough to be a grandmother or soon will be. You are too old to deliberately have a baby. My parents were both dead before they turned sixty. If you have a child at 41, you are almost certainly not going to live long enough to help with your grandchildren.

Then you have either bad luck or bad genes, which has colored your perspective.

Or more likely bad lifestyle habits...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the negative and mean comments on this thread. Having children is a blessing that you cannot plan. You may get lucky in having children at the age you want who are healthy and thriving, but that's all it is...luck.

Most people on this thread have more planning in their lives, not oops, I had a baby, how? The thread asks for opinions and some gave theirs -- that 40s is too old to have a baby. Its not mean, its an opinion -- or a life story. So many of the replies do not really address the question --" I had my baby at 37, now hes 3 and its fine." That's not having a baby in your 40s. That's having a baby in your 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the negative and mean comments on this thread. Having children is a blessing that you cannot plan. You may get lucky in having children at the age you want who are healthy and thriving, but that's all it is...luck.

OP asked for opinions, not rubberstamp validation. She got opinions both ways.

At 41, you are old enough to be a grandmother or soon will be. You are too old to deliberately have a baby. My parents were both dead before they turned sixty. If you have a child at 41, you are almost certainly not going to live long enough to help with your grandchildren.

Huh. My dad was almost 40 when I was born, and I had my kids in my mid-thirties. He's still alive and kicking, in excellent health, and is a very active and involved grandpa. Sorry your parents died in their fifties, but you must realize that most people live significantly longer than that.

[Anonymous]

No, but 49 is. You hear me, JJ?