My son has always been a "runner"
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Anonymous
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So starting when he could walk, he was the kid that when stressed would run away (in the parking lot, etc). We have dealt with this about 1-2x a year for quite some time. He once ran home from school to our house about a mile away when stressed about something (he was in K). It's scary and as he is getting older (He's 11) and stronger I can't really restrain him. We had a situation the other day where I was upset with him for something he did to his sister. We were parked in the car and he bolted.
I don't really know what to do about this and as he gets bigger and older I think we could be in a dangerous situation for him. Advice? Threats don't work, as in "I will take away X if you do this" as he can't seem to think rationally in the moment. FWIW, I am a bit like this, or was when younger. My father was totally like this and would leave often when there was an issue at home. Anyway, again, advice welcome! |
Anonymous
| Psychologist ASAP |
Anonymous
Definitely this. Also, you may want to think about a way to track him, e.g.: http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/resource-library/safety-products Therapy takes a while. |
Anonymous
| Psychologist to help him learn coping methods, Nonviolent Crisis Intervention training for you. I worked in classrooms with children who had autism and other special needs and frequently dealt with runners. The course taught me how to physically restrain a child my size and larger without I injuring either of us. |
Anonymous
OP, even if your kid isn't SN, this kind of training would be helpful to you until he's able to learn to process him emotions without running away. |
Anonymous
| Does he have autism? |
Anonymous
| No he's not autistic but emotional with self regulation issues |
Anonymous
Is he currently in therapy? he needs some intense training in self-regulation. He is getting to an age where a lack of self regulation can lead to high risk behavior or risky situations. |
Anonymous
| Does his school know this about him? If not, let the teachers know. The last thing you want is him bolting out the school doors. It happens, so the staff needs to know. |
Anonymous
He's not in therapy. But I agree. Researching people currently. We live in Bethesda - open to advice! |
Anonymous
| Rathbone and Associates. |
Anonymous
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Yep, we went to family therapy with my runner when he was about the same age (12). I thought we were in for months/years of therapy but things really improved after just a few sessions and we were finished after a few months.
FWIW, we do not restrain him as that just makes things worse. The therapy also helped with his emotional regulation and helped us not be so rigid or strict with him. He too does not react at all to "If you run away, you won't have your computer for a day/month/year." Instead we back way down when we see him losing control. Luckily, between the ages of 11 and 15 he has matured a lot and largely grown out of these issues. His best years of childhood are the most recent ones. Good luck, my kid like this was really hard and I didn't have many of my friends who were experiencing the same things so it felt very lonely. |
Anonymous
| Can anyone recommend a therapist for this in NoVa? My 10 yr old is also a runner. |
Anonymous
| Another poster here wondering if anyone has a Nova rec... thanks in advance. |
Anonymous
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OP, here's a rec for MD: http://www.alvordbaker.com/
NOVA folks you may want to search the Kids with SN forum or post there if you don't get any recommendations. |