If you are a practicing Catholic, how long will you...

[Anonymous]

...make sure your kids go to Mass with you? (As in, you gently insist that they come along with you; their staying home while you go is not an option.)

Up until they complete their Confirmation? Until they are 18? Not at all? What are your reasons?

*If you aren't a practicing Catholic, are another religion, are an atheist or agnostic, etc but still have good advice to give, please do! But if you're going to throw some anti-Catholic, anti-religion stuff out here for the sake of stirring the pot, please feel free to skip as it is unhelpful. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

The kids go to church with us for as long as they live in this house. We have four grown and gone and one teen still at home. It's never been an issue because we've always gone to church.

Plus, we go out to eat after church every Sunday - big incentive.

[Anonymous]

They will go to Mass with us as long as they are living under our roof.

Frankly, I am not too worried. They have a good understanding of the Faith so I don't think it will ever cross their minds to skip and we all have a solid understanding of what the Mass beholds (hec, the real presence of Jesus is there, we should really be going every morning).

OP - how old are your kids? Are you struggling to get them to Church on Sundays? Are you looking for tips to do that?

[Anonymous]

I grew up going to church every sunday with my parents. We are still expected to go if we are visiting their house. When in college, we were expected to meet the mass obligation. There were many Sundays when my brothers were at mass hungover, but they went.

Similarly, we are planning to visit my husband's uncle this weekend on the eastern shore. We are making it a day visit so we can avoid having to go to his fire & brimstone strip mall church. When in Rome...so we will leave Rome before Sunday AM service.

We take our children now 5 & 7 to mass every sunday. They don't like it but there is not another choice. I'm not sure how we will handle it as they get older. I suppose we will insist they attend with the family.

Going out to eat afterwards is a great idea. We usually go to the playground at the school but as they get older, we might need to change the incentive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up going to church every sunday with my parents. We are still expected to go if we are visiting their house. When in college, we were expected to meet the mass obligation. There were many Sundays when my brothers were at mass hungover, but they went.

Similarly, we are planning to visit my husband's uncle this weekend on the eastern shore. We are making it a day visit so we can avoid having to go to his fire & brimstone strip mall church. When in Rome...so we will leave Rome before Sunday AM service.

We take our children now 5 & 7 to mass every sunday. They don't like it but there is not another choice. I'm not sure how we will handle it as they get older. I suppose we will insist they attend with the family.

Going out to eat afterwards is a great idea. We usually go to the playground at the school but as they get older, we might need to change the incentive.

Which is why I left back for college on Saturday and didn't stick around for Sunday

[Anonymous]

Until their bar mitzvah. So, about the same as ur until confirmation idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up going to church every sunday with my parents. We are still expected to go if we are visiting their house. When in college, we were expected to meet the mass obligation. There were many Sundays when my brothers were at mass hungover, but they went.

Similarly, we are planning to visit my husband's uncle this weekend on the eastern shore. We are making it a day visit so we can avoid having to go to his fire & brimstone strip mall church. When in Rome...so we will leave Rome before Sunday AM service.

We take our children now 5 & 7 to mass every sunday. They don't like it but there is not another choice. I'm not sure how we will handle it as they get older. I suppose we will insist they attend with the family.

Going out to eat afterwards is a great idea. We usually go to the playground at the school but as they get older, we might need to change the incentive.

Get them to a parish with a really good CCD. We did this and it made all the difference for our kids.

[Anonymous]

I would think at least through middle school. After that, I will likely do what my parents did. They gave my sister and me the choice of either going to mass or doing something else each Sunday to learn more about either Catholicism, another religion, or another form of spirituality. If we could articulate a spiritual basis for a service project, that could count too. In the end, I have returned to being a practicing Catholic, but I have participated in activities from a wide range of religions, and have the utmost respect for their believers.

[Anonymous]

I would think at least through middle school. After that, I will likely do what my parents did. They gave my sister and me the choice of either going to mass or doing something else each Sunday to learn more about either Catholicism, another religion, or another form of spirituality. If we could articulate a spiritual basis for a service project, that could count too. In the end, I have returned to being a practicing Catholic, but I have participated in activities from a wide range of religions, and have the utmost respect for their believers.

[Anonymous]

Not Catholic, but we subscribe to the "while under our roof" approach. My teen amazingly likes the church service. We are Lutheran, so it is pretty much the same service as the Catholic mass. My ds is musical and our church has great (traditional) music, so that helps.

The harder part for us is Sunday School. DS was confirmed this past spring and I think will be resistent to going to the high school youth group. I guess we will push on the youth group for a while, but may let that go but insist on church attendence.

Not sure if it helps, but we do a brief family devotional each morning.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 teens and they come with us or go on their own if they are not home when my husband and I go. I assume they will continue to go with us when they are in our home and quite likely when they are on their own. I will not force it because I think they need to make their own decisions about what's important for them, but I do believe that we demonstrate by our actions how we (as parents) feel. We have built a strong faith formation in a good parish and have good relationships with a number of religious clergy members that certainly are an influence.

I often say that Mass is just one tiny hour in my week. If I can think of at least one hour during the previous 168 of the week that I felt God's care, then I should be able to give at least that back in thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think at least through middle school. After that, I will likely do what my parents did. They gave my sister and me the choice of either going to mass or doing something else each Sunday to learn more about either Catholicism, another religion, or another form of spirituality. If we could articulate a spiritual basis for a service project, that could count too. In the end, I have returned to being a practicing Catholic, but I have participated in activities from a wide range of religions, and have the utmost respect for their believers.

I really like this approach. Great way to keep spirituality a part of their lives, while also giving them some autonomy that teens crave. Interesting that you returned to the fold. I don't have teens yet myself, but I wonder if this is ultimately more successful than simply making teens go.

[Anonymous]

At least through high school and when they are home.
If they aren't standing next to me at church, how will I be able to look over and think - did he just grow this week!
College is a don't ask don't tell for me.

I think they can also skip family mass if they are going with friends. (I know it was dorky, but during my college years my PVI friends and I went to the George mason church on Sunday nights. It was new and pretty at the time, and a central location to catch up)

We do skip occasionally to do stuff as a family, if . But I will not skip for sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think at least through middle school. After that, I will likely do what my parents did. They gave my sister and me the choice of either going to mass or doing something else each Sunday to learn more about either Catholicism, another religion, or another form of spirituality. If we could articulate a spiritual basis for a service project, that could count too. In the end, I have returned to being a practicing Catholic, but I have participated in activities from a wide range of religions, and have the utmost respect for their believers.

but during those teen years, weren't your parents assenting to you committing the moral sin of missing mass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think at least through middle school. After that, I will likely do what my parents did. They gave my sister and me the choice of either going to mass or doing something else each Sunday to learn more about either Catholicism, another religion, or another form of spirituality. If we could articulate a spiritual basis for a service project, that could count too. In the end, I have returned to being a practicing Catholic, but I have participated in activities from a wide range of religions, and have the utmost respect for their believers.

I really like this approach. Great way to keep spirituality a part of their lives, while also giving them some autonomy that teens crave. Interesting that you returned to the fold. I don't have teens yet myself, but I wonder if this is ultimately more successful than simply making teens go.

But what if they were to die during that time with the stain of mortal sin on their souls? Wouldn't you feel somewhat responsible for giving them a pass on attending mass?